AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Shit.
“But it’s beautiful as well.”
My hair was down today, one of the first times I’d actually done anything with it. But I skipped the makeup and the cute outfit. I wore a light blue summer dress and sandals since it was going to be a hot day in the city. When it was humid and warm, jeans were a terrible choice. My skin had started to deepen in color from being in the sun more often, so the tone contrasted with the brightness of my dress.
I knew Antonio wasn’t going to walk away from me, not so easily. He’d left me alone for the past few days, just like last time. He seemed to have a pattern, or it was just a coincidence.
My eyes shifted to the floor, breaking the contact because I couldn’t take it anymore. With Bones, I could hold his gaze forever without flinching. When he made love to me, I never stopped staring at him, even when our lips touched. Looking at Antonio made me think of those nights, and the idea of having that kind of intimacy with him terrified me.
“Don’t be afraid to look at me.”
“I’m not.” I flicked my eyes up again, remembering I should never back down. “I just don’t want to.”
Again, the rejection didn’t sting him the way it would sting someone else. It was like he didn’t hear it at all, like it didn’t mean anything. He seemed to see past my excuses and my lies to the truth behind them.
That I felt exactly what he felt.
“There’s so much beauty in the truth. So let’s only speak with the truth.”
It was a riddle of a sentence, but I somehow grasped his meaning. “I told you I wasn’t interested.”
“I remember.” He kept his arms by his sides, his muscled arms covered in veins the way I liked. His skin was beautiful, kissable. A corded vein went up his neck, prominent against his tight skin. Without his having to remove his shirt, it was clear to see that he was ripped in all the right places. There was nothing but muscle underneath that cotton. “But it wasn’t the truth.”
“I’m not ready to see anyone.”
“I believe that one,” he said. “And I respect it.”
“Doesn’t seem like it.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
He watched my movements before his eyes flicked back to mine. “I’m only asking for your companionship, nothing else. Have dinner with me. Let’s get some coffee or gelato. Whatever you want. All I’m asking for is your time. Please give it to me.”
We bypassed all the normal conversation that two strangers had. We skipped to the middle, speaking to each other with such candidness it was like we’d known each other our entire lives. The connection was so strong there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was there—and we both knew it. “I don’t want to waste your time. You’re a beautiful man…there’s not a woman out there you couldn’t have.”
He raised one eyebrow, sincerely surprised. “Even if that were true, I don’t want a woman out there. Right now, I want the woman in here. And you’ve never wasted my time, Vanessa. Even when you reject me, I still enjoy these moments.”
The way he said my name sent shivers down my spine. It was intimate, like he pressed his lips against mine and said my name directly into my throat. “I’m in love with another man…” I said the words out loud and felt a jolt of pain in my chest. I didn’t want to hurt Antonio, and I didn’t want to harbor these feelings any longer. Carmen made an excellent point when I spoke to her that afternoon. Carrying a vigil for Bones in my heart hadn’t done me any good. It only caused me pain.
Again, Antonio didn’t react. It was like those words meant nothing to him. “But you aren’t seeing him anymore.”
“How did you know…?”
“Because if you really were with someone else…” He raised his hand and moved it toward me before he pointed at his chest. “Then this wouldn’t be happening. So this man must be gone…either from life or your life.”
“Yes…he is.”
He lowered his hand again. “I appreciate your bluntness. But it doesn’t change anything.”
This man was so confident that he didn’t care what I’d just said. It didn’t seem like he was concerned about anything I could say. He wanted me, and he wasn’t going to stop until he had me. “I’m just not ready. It wouldn’t be fair to date someone when I still feel this way. When I put myself out there again, I want to be ready to love someone. I’m definitely not there, and that’s not fair to you, to anyone.”
He gave a slight nod. “I understand your reasoning. The timing isn’t right. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t be interested in getting involved with someone under those circumstances. But I want to get to know you anyway. All I’m asking for is your friendship. That’s something you should be able to give me right now.”
