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It was good to be home, even though I would be leaving again in a short while. My woman was there with me, taking my dick first thing in the morning before she was even truly awake. I moved around the kitchen and made breakfast and coffee before I sat down at the dining table.
I hadn’t been inside the apartment for that long, but it felt like home to me. Decorated with Vanessa’s artwork and the furniture that was picked out for her, it was her haven. It absorbed her spirit, made her love heavy in the fabric of the couches and carpet. Even when she wasn’t in the room, I could feel her presence everywhere.
Crow’s name popped up on my phone.
It was the first time I wasn’t annoyed to see his name, knowing this was just business. I answered without saying a word, unsure how to greet this man.
He wasn’t affected by my poor manners. “How did your mission go?”
“Fine. Killed the guy and left.” My line of work wasn’t as exciting as people thought. I did my job then went home. There was no emotion attached to it. When my head hit the pillow, I went to sleep immediately.
“I’m sure Vanessa is happy you’re home.”
But she was miserable I had to leave again. “She is.”
Once the pleasantries were out of the way, he got to the heart of the matter. “Are we still doing this tonight? You need more time?”
I wanted this over and done with soon as possible. I had no idea what the Skull Kings were planning. Once the threat was neutralized, it was one less thing I had to worry about. The Barsettis always seemed to get themselves into trouble. Carter and Conway got mixed up in this bullshit, and Vanessa walked home alone and ran into me. Must be a family trait. “I’m ready.”
“My daughter can spare you for the night?”
Despite the tears she shed when I left, she was a tough woman who could handle anything. “She’ll be fine. I’ll meet at your place in a few hours.”
“Will you tell the Skull Kings you’re coming?”
“No. Dates aren’t really their style.”
“You’ll catch them off guard.”
I chuckled. “They’re never caught off guard.” I finished up the conversation with him just as Vanessa walked into the room. In my t-shirt and with messy hair, she was the queen of my castle. She was also the prisoner in my four walls. She constantly hovered between both, balancing between royalty and servitude. Even if she wanted to leave me, she couldn’t. Her commitment was the price she paid for her father’s life.
Her hand snaked over my bare shoulders as she looked down at me, a sleepy look in her eyes. “How’d you sleep?”
“Never better.” The bed we shared was too small, but I’d never been more comfortable. My hand moved up under her shirt to the soft skin of her belly. She’d put on some weight since I’d returned, but I liked seeing the extra inches around her middle. I preferred a healthy woman over a depressed one.
“Me too.” She smiled down at me. “I hadn’t slept in days.”
Pain pulled at my heartstrings, the guilt killing me inside. What kind of man hurt his woman like that? What kind of man made his woman sleep alone? I didn’t like who I was when I was still in this line of business.
She caught the sadness in my eyes. “You’re leaving tonight, aren’t you?”
I didn’t hide the truth from her. “In a few hours.”
A heavy sigh escaped her lips. “Here we go again…”
“This won’t be nearly as dangerous as the other stuff I do.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
I’d shoved my foot in my mouth. “It’ll be fine, baby. I promise you.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
I grabbed her hip and dragged her into my lap, placing her across my thighs. “I keep all my promises, baby. I promise you, your father and I will be fine. And I’ll be fine on my last mission too.”
She rested her forehead against mine. “It doesn’t matter what you say or do. I’ll never feel peace until it’s all over. I’ll never relax or truly be happy until you walk in that door for the last time, until I sleep alone for the last time.”
No one had ever made me feel as low as Vanessa. Her love for me raised me up, but it also crippled me at the same time. When she needed me, it gave me a greater purpose in life. Leaving her side for a job seemed ridiculous. I had more money than I would ever need, more money than she would ever need. I certainly didn’t need more of it. I just needed more of her. “It’ll happen soon enough.”
I’d just said goodbye to Vanessa a few days ago, and now I was doing it again. We stood in front of the door, my bag over my shoulder. It was packed with my rifle, shotgun, and pistol, along with ammunition. It was black leather, sleek and smooth. Anytime Vanessa saw that bag, she knew what was inside it. And she knew that meant one thing.
