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“Then make sure you want the same things.” Ronan handled all situations with simplicity, like everything was as straightforward as a math problem and there was only one solution. “This act isn’t gonna be cute forever. When you’re forty and fifty, you’re just gonna be an old guy with a bunch of money.”
I turned the tables on him. “You want to get married and have a family?”
He shrugged. “If I met the right woman, I’m not opposed to it.”
I raised an eyebrow, surprised my heartbreaker brother would say that. “Really?”
“I’m having fun right now, but that’s gonna get old after a while. If I met a woman who was absolutely perfect for me, I wouldn’t let her go. I would man up and be everything she wanted—even a husband and a father.”
I was still stunned.
“Come on, I just turned thirty. I’m not in my twenties anymore. You haven’t been in your twenties for a while.”
I never felt a particular age. I never felt rushed to do anything in particular. I figured I would live life and see where it took me. Listening to my brother say these things surprised me because he’d been a playboy for so long.
“So if Carmen really means something to you, you shouldn’t let her go.”
Even if I wanted those things, it didn’t change anything. Even if I loved her, we still had our problems. “I’m not the kind of man she’s looking for. She sees me as a dangerous criminal, not husband material. I can’t blame her. She tried to break things off with me, and I wouldn’t let her. Since the beginning, I’ve been controlling the relationship and not giving her much of a choice. She wants an average man, safe and simple.”
“So if she changed her mind about all of that, would you?” He regarded me with a serious expression, watching every slight reaction I made with my face.
“I don’t know, Ronan. I’ve only known the woman for a month or two.”
He shrugged. “They said when you know, you know right away.”
I took a drink and looked away. “I’m not in love with the girl. I care about her and enjoy her company, but that’s it. You’re looking too hard into it.”
“Maybe,” he said. “Or maybe I’m making you think about things you don’t want to think about.”
I loosened my tie in the elevator and pulled my jacket off before the doors opened. Even though I didn’t smoke, I still smelled like cigars and booze. If Carmen smelled my clothes, she might think I went behind her back and lit up anyway.
Or maybe she didn’t remember asking me to quit in the first place. She had been pretty tipsy at the time.
The doors opened, and I walked into the penthouse, expecting it to be dark with the exception of a few lights. The skyline of the city was in the background, glowing with the beauty of the Italian landscape. I tossed my jacket over my shoulder and noticed the glow from the TV.
Was she sleeping on the couch again?
I crept into the living room, carefully pressing my feet against the hardwood floor so the soles of my shoes wouldn’t make a gentle tapping noise. I spotted her on the long couch, her knees pulled to her chest with a blanket draped over her body. The TV was still on, but the sound was down low. Just like last time, she wasn’t deeply asleep because she seemed to be aware of my presence. She opened her eyes and looked at me. “Oh…you’re home.” She ran her fingers through her hair then sat up, her eyes heavy with exhaustion.
“Why are you on the couch?” It seemed like every time I came home, she was crammed on this piece of furniture instead of lounging in the enormous bed with the luxurious sheets. It wasn’t nearly as comfortable out here. If she wanted a TV, there was one in the bedroom. It worked exactly the same way as this one, so there was no possibility she didn’t know how to work it.
“I was just having a hard time falling asleep. Too much coffee.” When she stood up, she tossed the blanket over the back of the couch and walked toward me. She was in one of my t-shirts, her hair down and her skin clean because she’d washed her face before she got ready for bed. “How was your night?”
“Same as always.” My hand cupped her cheek, and I brushed my thumb across her soft skin. She turned her face into my palm, letting me cradle her. I watched the subtle glow of her green eyes, the way she was tired but also wide awake. It was past one when I walked through the door, and she would leave for work in a few hours.
“So you missed me the whole time?” she teased.
