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There was nothing I could say to that because he was completely right.
“You’re the safest woman in this city because I protect you. I protect you because you’re the single most important thing in my life. You aren’t just the woman I’m sleeping with. You’re the one who sleeps beside me all night, the one who has dinner with me, the one I’m completely committed to. Ruby is a beautiful woman who knows her way around a bedpost, but she’ll never be more than a good lay. You, on the other hand, are the only woman I’ve ever loved. You’re the only woman I’ve ever skipped the condom with. You’re the only woman who makes me apologize, forces me to make promises, and turns my hardness into softness. Let’s not pretend that my love isn’t written all over my face, written all over every little thing I do. I didn’t expect this to happen, but now that it has, I’m not afraid to say it. So you’d better not be afraid to handle it.”
I listened to every single word, no longer shocked by the sudden confession, but by the aggressive way he forced me to accept it. He wasn’t ashamed in the least, and he wasn’t angry that I didn’t say it back. He only wanted to prove his point further, to show that his confession was amplified by his actions.
Now he stared at me, silently demanding that I repeat the phrase back to him.
I refused to do it.
He sat back in his chair, his eyes filling with disappointment.
“I told you I’m leaving when this is over.”
“Even though you’re in love with me?”
“I never said I was.”
“Cut the bullshit.” He pushed his plate aside and leaned over the table closer to me. “You can keep lying to yourself, but that’s not gonna last long. And you can’t lie to me at all—because I see it written all over your face. I see it when I’m buried deep inside you, when you’re crying because you’re worried about my safety, when you sleep on the couch as you wait for me to come home at night. I’ve always admired you because of how strong and real you are. You’ve never been afraid to be honest, to tell the truth exactly as it is. But now…you’re weak. You’re too weak to face me like a real woman. You’re too scared to own up to the truth. That’s not the Carmen I know. The woman I know, the woman I love, has a much stronger backbone than that.”
12
Bosco
I didn’t need to go to the casino that night, but I went anyway.
Because Carmen had pissed me off.
After I checked on the floor and talked to security, I took the elevator down to my office underground. It was the quietest place in the world, the one location I could truly be alone without being bothered. The only person who could get down here without my prior knowledge was Ronan—and he hardly ever did.
I sat in my leather chair with a glass of scotch in my hand. I stared at the wall, my elbow on the desk and my fingertips lightly pressed against my cheek. My thoughts kept going back to Carmen, the one who came into my life so unexpectedly. Now she was ruining my life because she wanted to leave.
It was a bunch of bullshit.
I knew she loved me. She just didn’t want to love me.
Too fucking bad.
Hours passed, but I was in no hurry to head home. Carmen would be on the couch because she couldn’t sleep without me. This was my cruel way of showing her exactly how dependent she was on me.
Just in case she forgot.
The elevator clanked as it descended to my floor, and heavy footsteps thudded against the concrete as someone came down to join me.
It could only be one person.
I stood up and poured another drink. “All I got is scotch. Drink up.” I set the glass at the end of the desk and sat down again.
Ronan grinned before he picked it up. “Do you ever have anything else?” He took a drink before he sat down on the leather couch, the couch where I’d fucked Carmen that one time.
“Good point.” I swirled my glass before I took another drink. “Is there something you need?”
“No. Drake told me you’d been down here a long time. Wanted to see if everything was alright.”
“I’m fine.” The words weren’t convincing, even to me. I came down here to get away from Carmen, not to think and talk about her.
He took a long drink before he wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve. “Look, it’s late. How about we cut the bullshit and just get right to the point? I know there’s something wrong, and I’m guessing it has something to do with Carmen. If you don’t want to talk about it, fine. But not let’s pretend.”
