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‘I do not expect that from you. I am not a child unable
to face harsh realities. But I find your refusal to discuss
Turner.. .peculiar,' Carlo selected, reaching for a
sandwich, entirely at his ease. 'My life is now an open
book to you '
Her teeth gritted. 'Only because I stumbled accidentally between the covers.'
'I did not want my past to come between us,’ Carlo stated levelly. 'You force me to be blunt. OK Your father intimated that your marriage had not been a happy one.'
Taken by surprise, Jessica froze.
'And he was not talking about your husband's illness.
He made that clear '
‘He had no right to imply that '
'You were not blissfully happy with your best friend," Carlo incised with scorn.
Jessica rolled off the bed, cornered by his persistence. ‘I will not discuss Simon with you.'
'Why not? He is dead. He cannot be hurt.' Carlo dealt her an expectant stare.
'You say I made a choice. Why don't you look to your own behaviour during those six weeks?' she demanded. 'You might be surprised at what you see!'
‘I behaved like a bastard,' Carlo growled the admission to her back a second before she vanished into the bathroom. 'But you didn't encourage me to be anything else. You made me angry and frustrated and you challenged me. You made it an all-out fight between us and I know only one way to fight... and that is to win!'
She ran a bath for herself. She needed the space. In full flood, Carlo was a talented interrogator. The water stung her feet like mad but a masochistic part of her rejoiced in the pain. She deserved it. She kept on letting her guard down around Carlo and manipulative swine that he was, he sensed that every time it happened and demanded answers he had no right to expect.
Once, she had been grossly disloyal to Simon with Carlo. Ultimately that hadn't mattered, except in so far as she had contravened her own high principles. But she could not be disloyal to Simon's memory. How could she tell a male as rawly virile and passionate as Carlo that Simon had failed to consummate their marriage? He would laugh, wouldn't he? He would kill himself laughing. He would be triumphant, possessed of the knowledge that her marriage had been pure farce from start to finish and that he, after all, had become her first lover. She felt that she owed Simon's memory something more than that.
She emerged to an empty bedroom and instead of being relieved felt deserted. Furious at her own increasing emotional dependency on Carlo, she compressed her lips. She could not afford to look for Carlo when he was not there. Some day not too far in the future, he would not be there at all.
Unintentionally, she recalled the passion they had shared and reddened fiercely, still barely able to credit that that wanton woman had been her. Carlo touched her and that was that. Nothing else mattered. Sooner or later, she would pay a heavy price for such memories, she acknowledged painfully. The fact that Carlo had finally contrived to fulfil bis fantasy of having sex in a lift was unlikely to be a recollection she cherished with pride... when he was gone.
'Some day you will come to me on your knees and beg me to take you... and I will break you.' Jessica shivered, suddenly cold and scared. Just a few short days ago, Carlo had still been talking in the same vein. And though he had yet to discover it, he had already won. She loved him. Whatever happened, she was going to be very badly hurt.
Another knock sounded on the door. It was fresh sandwiches and sweetly fragrant coffee, ordered by Carlo
on her behalf. The pretty dark-skinned maid passed on the message
that Carlo was with his father.
'I'm sorry you had to be bothered so late.' It was two in the morning and Jessica felt guilty.
(But I work the night shift here, ma'am.' The woman smiled. 'This is my job.'
The night shift, Jessica reflected, slowly shaking her head. A night shift of staff for round-the-clock service. It was like living in a top-flight hotel. Then she wondered if Lukas had taken a turn for the worse and frowned.
Carlo returned about ten minutes later. 'How is Lukas?' she asked.
'A consummate insomniac,’ Carlo sighed. 'Problems have arisen over a shipping deal in Athens. He's asked me to fly out there and take care of them. I'll be leaving at seven and I expect to be back the night before the wedding.'
Disappointment enveloped her and she fought to conceal it.
