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Bewilderment held her still when Fabian Garsdale stepped into the porch. He was of medium height with distinguished wings of grey in his dark hair, and his neat metal-framed spectacles made him look very much like the academic he was.
‘Fabian…my goodness, I wasn’t expecting you.’
‘The train fare cost me a small fortune.’ His pale blue eyes were irritable. ‘And I didn’t get a seat.’
‘Oh, dear, how very unfortunate,’ Vivien soothed, struggling to silence Jock and prevent him from nipping playfully at Fabian’s heels. Sadly, Fabian wasn’t very doggy-orientated and Jock was forever teasing him. She shut the little animal into the kitchen and showed her visitor into the drawing room.
‘Did you get my letter?’ she asked.
Fabian had been away at a two-day conference in Hamburg. His absence had put her in a difficult position. She had not liked to break the news of her planned move in a phone call and he disliked email that was not work-related, so she had compromised by leaving a letter in his college pigeon-hole.
‘How else would I have known where you were? I set off as soon as I read it. I think that you’ve been very rash,’ he informed her with a reproving shake of his head.
Vivien never
liked it when Fabian spoke to her as though she were a not-very-bright four-year-old but he spoke to virtually everybody that way. ‘In the circumstances, I didn’t feel I had much choice.’
‘I wish that you had phoned me to discuss this course of action before you agreed to it,’ Fabian complained rather shortly. ‘It’s admirable that you should want to achieve a more civilised relationship with Marco’s father and enable him to take greater responsibility for his son. But you must be sensible and consider your own future as well.’
‘It wasn’t possible to do both…or, at least, where Lucca and Marco are concerned, things are rather more complex than that,’ she extended awkwardly, for, while her letter to Fabian had been as frank as their friendship deserved, she had not revealed anything very personal about the current state of her relationship with Lucca.
‘Of course they are. Naturally that silly woman’s newspaper confession opened old wounds but you mustn’t forget that you are practically divorced,’ Fabian pointed out testily.
Vivien lost colour at that reminder. ‘I’ll be divorced when it’s final.’
‘I can see that you still need to get Lucca Saracino out of your system.’ Fabian compressed his thin lips and raised a brow at the surprise blossoming in her expressive face. ‘I’m not a fool, Vivien. I don’t suffer from jealousy either. I’m a very pragmatic man. Before this happened, our friendship was moving onto a new stage. I was planning to ask you to marry me once you were free. However, recent events have superseded that time frame.’
Vivien was startled by that calm announcement of intent, for she had been quite unaware that the older man had begun thinking of her as a potential wife. ‘Fabian…I don’t know what to say. I had no—’
‘No, this is not the time to give me an answer,’ Fabian decreed with slight impatience. ‘It’s merely important that you should know that that option is there for the future. I have great respect and affection for you and we work very well together. I don’t know much about children but I would do my best to be a good stepfather to your son.’
A lump formed in her throat. She was touched and felt that she must have been shockingly blind not to notice the extent of his attachment to her. ‘How long have you been in love with me?’ she asked in an apologetic whisper.
‘Good heavens, no! I haven’t got quite that carried away.’ Fabian laughed out loud at that idea. ‘I hope I have more sense!’
Vivien froze. ‘Oh…then why were you thinking of marrying me?’
‘I find your company pleasant. You’re not a demanding woman. You have a remarkable brain,’ he acknowledged with his first hint of enthusiasm. ‘Mother likes you too. Her disliking you would not have prevented me from proposing but it would have made life difficult.’
The emotive lump in Vivien’s throat had wholly dissolved. It seemed that even her brain had more pulling power than the rest of her. Of course he didn’t love her. Nobody had ever really loved her but Marco. And she should have known better than to ask such a stupid question. Fabian was more into research than passion. In truth, he was not much given to emotion and his sense of humour was slight, but he was sincere. It was perfectly possible that he felt more for her in his dry, prosaic way than Lucca had ever felt for her, she thought wretchedly.
‘I’m pleased that your mother liked me,’ Vivien muttered tightly.
‘She has excellent taste.’ Fabian checked his watch. ‘I’m afraid I can’t stay any longer. I did promise to call in with a friend while I was in town. I’ll keep in touch. In due course, I expect you’ll be in a better position to give me a considered response to my proposal.’
As Fabian held open the door into the hall for her Vivien wondered if she ought to be thanking him for proposing, because it seemed awful to say nothing at all, and then she heard herself saying instead, ‘You know…Lucca’s here right now. He’s upstairs with Marco.’
‘I think not…’ Fabian said drily, drawing her attention belatedly to the tall dark male striding down the stairs.
‘Where’s Marco?’ Vivien asked Lucca anxiously, noting that he had replaced his tie and jacket. Apart from the fact that his luxuriant black hair was sexily tousled, he looked as sophisticated and bone-deep cool as always.
‘Fast asleep in his cot.’ Lucca surveyed Fabian with brooding intensity. He wasn’t that bad-looking for a short, skinny guy of advanced years. ‘You must be Fabian…’
‘Garsdale…Professor.’ Fabian extended a polite hand.
‘Must you leave so soon?’ Lucca purred and the silence was like a whirlpool gathering speed and destructive force.
Fabian stepped out rather hurriedly onto the doorstep. ‘Unfortunately, I must. I’m afraid I have another appointment and I’m running rather late as it is.’
