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I’m so glad that I am at work today. Hopefully I have enough to do to distract me. It hurts my heart to keep thinking about this. I didn't want to get attached or feel this way.
I have some free time after a fitting with a new client, so I'm using my computer in the back office. I check the website for the shop and am now looking through all of my emails. The more I think about it, the more I realize how disappointing it is. I guess Gabriel was only interested in getting into my pants. That should have been evident by the way he disconnected after the kiss.
I guess all that chemistry I felt between us was only on my part. That's nothing new. I fall in love really fast. I always have. I sigh because these thoughts are depressing me. I don't want to think about this anymore. I guess I just need to move on, like I'm sure he already has.
As I’m scrolling on my computer, something in my inbox catches my attention. I squint at the screen to read it better. My heart pounds in my chest as I open the email. I think I recognize the name, but I'm not sure. My only focus that night was Gabriel. I push him out if my mind as I read the email.
I was right. It's from the hostess of the auction. I'm excited as I read through it. She writes to me, "Hello. I hope this email finds you well. I just wanted to congratulate you again on your success at the last auction."
I smile. Despite what it’s done to my heart, the auction had done wonders for the shop. I'm still happy about that. I’d gotten most of the repairs done, and had even replenished some of the damaged stock.
I hurry to write her back, "Hello. I'm well thanks. Thank you for your kind words. It was an interesting event to take part in. "
I click out of the email and put my computer aside, ready to find something else to work on. I recently had some new fabrics delivered, so I unpack them from the boxes and put them in their places in the stockroom. After taking the empty packages outside to the dumpster, I return to the shop to hear my computer beep, alerting me to a new email. I hurry to check it.
It's from the hostess again. "That's great to hear! If you have the time and are interested, we would like to work with you again, perhaps hosting another event at your business? We do offer a handsome hosting fee,” She writes.
I remember what Tammy had told me about the hosting fee, and immediately I’m tempted. I stare at the email for a few minutes before replying. I don't know if I should go through with this. I kind of feel like once was enough. But then I look around my shop and sigh softly.
If I had more money I could do so much more here. Maybe I could expand my business like I wanted to. I could definitely finish up the remainder of the repairs that I need. I hurry to respond to her email by writing, "Yes, I am open to this possibility. Call me this afternoon and we can discuss it further."
My heart pounds as I click “send.”
Once I receive a confirmation from her, I get off the computer. I need time to think about everything. This is quite a big thing to pull off, especially since the shop is nowhere near what it used to be. I know I'm determined enough that I can make the event a success. I need to. I have a lot of plans to accomplish with that money.
I look at the wall behind me. Pinned to it are papers and blueprints that fill me with nostalgia as I look at them. They’re plans for the business that my grandmother and I had made together. Suddenly, I'm glad I agreed to host another auction. I can do so much good here with that money. I go back out into the shop and clear up the area.
I always keep the shop tidy, but I need something to occupy my mind. I'm starting to think about auctioning myself off again. I could make a little extra money by doing that. My mind fills with a million thoughts, then suddenly my heart feels full of sadness at one specific thought and I sit down. The auction reminds me of Gabriel. I didn’t want to think about him again, but I can't help it.
I don't know if I can go through with it. What if I run into him there? Or worse, what if he doesn't show up? An even more terrifying thought is what if I auction myself off and some other guy wins me?
