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All I asked for was at least a phone call, a little acknowledgement or even a polite refusal. What I didn't ask for was to be treated this way. To be ignored or cast aside. He didn't call me, yet he initiated that kiss and then turned cold on me. I'm surprised that my sadness is suddenly turning to anger. I wipe my face.
"You are a strong and beautiful woman. The only reason you agreed to this auction was to raise money for your business. It has nothing to do with him." I remind myself, feeling rage replacing sorrow in every ounce of my body.
I turn suddenly and look at the photo of my grandmother. I get up, walk over to the wall and softly put my fingertips on her cheek. It's like she gives me strength or comfort. I can't tell which. I know what I have to do. This should have been my goal or my plan all along.
I can't believe I allowed myself to be distracted by a player like Gabriel. He's handsome, he's wealthy, I should have known what type of a person that he was all along.
Spurred on by my ideas and my anger at Gabriel, a sudden thought pops into my head. "How dare he think he can just show up at my shop with someone else, after the night that we shared?" I think angrily.
I'm too much of a lady to say or do anything else. I'm not going to cause a scene or disrupt the auction. That's not the type of person that I am. If he can play the field and move on, then I can too. I check over my outfit and stalk angrily out of the backroom. I'm in such a hurry I almost bump into several people standing nearby. I know I need to calm down, but I can't.
I hurriedly look over the crowd of people. I don't see Gabriel or his woman, but he's not who I am looking for right now.
Finally, I spot the auction director. Before I can lose my nerve or change my mind, I walk over to her. Without hesitation I tap her on the shoulder. She turns to look at me, "Yes?"
"I would like to go up on stage," I demand, my heart pounding.
Her eyes widen in surprise. She stammers for a few seconds. "You mean to make an announcement?" She asks, trying to comprehend what I'm saying.
I shake my head no. "I mean to participate in the auction. I…I would like to auction off my virginity, " I say. I feel so brave, angry and confident right now that nothing can stop me.
I need to keep this up. It's the way to get what I want and make tonight a big success. I just need to forget about him and focus on my plan. That's what I keep telling myself.
She excuses herself from her group of people and walks with me. "Well, this is quite the development since you were so vehement denied before. What brought this on?" She asks after a few moments of shocked silence.
I don't want anyone to know, so I tell her half of the truth by saying, "I could use the extra money."
She gives me a long hard look before asking me, "You are absolutely sure about this, because there is no backing out from this."
I nod yes in response. She smiles and writes something on a piece of paper. "All right. As you wish. You will go on next, this girl is almost finished up there. If you need time to freshen up or anything go now, I can brief you on the rules when you get back." She explains.
I nod and hurry away to the bathroom. I feel excited and terrified as I walk inside. I hope tonight is a good night
I’ve never given much thought to my appearance before, but I guess tonight it’s important. I bring my purse in with me and add some more makeup to my face. I tie my long red hair up in a bun to make my neck more appealing and also keep it out of my face. Extra mascara highlights my large hazel eyes and makes them appear luminous.
I wish I could do something to cover my freckles, but I guess you can't fix everything. I'm dressed in a simple dress and panty hose. I have a light sweater draped over my shoulders to fight the chill of the air conditioner.
After one last look in the mirror, I sigh. I guess this will have to do. I hurry to put my purse away and search for the auction director again. She nods when she sees me, and I walk over to her. "Ok, it's your turn, are you sure ready?" She asks one last time.
