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Kevin is silent as he processes and tries to understand the whole story. I look out the window again as we talk. "Okay, here's what I think…" he finally says.
I wait with curiosity. "You should go apologize to her." He says bluntly.
His answer is so simple I don't believe it. "Apologize? That's really all you came up with?" I ask in disbelief.
"Yes, just hear me out." He pleads, so I stow my annoyance and listen again
"Okay, she’s a nice girl, that you had a great night with. You're used to the auction thing. She's not. Maybe that's why you feel so bad about this. You have a guilty conscience because this was her first time. You probably thought you should have at least told her goodbye or prepared her for something like this." He explains.
I'm sure in his mind this sounds like a reasonable explanation. I wish this whole situation was as easy as he thought it was. But how can I tell him just how deeply she’s gotten under my skin? Won’t I sound insane if I tell him the truth?
"Maybe you’re right. I'll try it," I reply.
"Okay. Call me and let me know what happens. " he says, then we hang up.
I sit in my office and stare out the window. I don't know if this is going to work, but maybe it's a start. At any rate, it will give me an opportunity to see her again. My stomach does somersaults at that thought. I work hard to calm myself.
I still don't know if it's the right decision but I have to make some sort of an effort. My life will never go back to normal if I don't make some kind of an effort to deal with this. I sigh and check the time, it's almost lunch. An hour until. But I know I'm not going to be able to concentrate on work.
I grab my phone and keys and leave the office. Knowing what I'm about to do, the elevator ride seems longer than usual. I hurry through the lobby and out to my car, looking up the address online to her record store. I punch it into my GPS and start to drive there.
I know I’ve been before, but in my current distracted state, I’m likely to miss a turn and end up in another state or something.
The whole drive there I'm actually nervous and worried. How is she going to react when she sees me? She doesn't seem like the dramatic type, but after the way that I left things, I should be prepared for anything including a scene.
As I get closer to my destination, I start rehearsing things in my head. I want my apology to be perfect. I don't want to upset her any more than I already have. Even now I can't believe I’m acting this way. In the past I never would have cared about leaving a girl from the auction like that before.
But, none of them would have cared, either. Juliette is different. I can't figure out why. I just feel so different around her. It's scary and frustrating because I have never had to deal with anything like this before.
But then suddenly I realize something even more frightening than the prospect that I’ve upset her. What if she doesn’t care at all? What if she just took it in stride and moved on and I’m the only one in knots over this? Am I about to make a huge ass out of myself?
I arrive at the strip mall. I park my car in the lot and just sit there for a few minutes, trying to mentally prepare myself. I don't know if I'll be ready for this, but I have no choice now. After a deep breath, I get out of the car and walk inside.
Chapter 16 - Juliette
I’m feeling better today, and I'm doing my best to forget about everything that happened the other night. It’s another work day. Nothing could keep me away from my shop. I went about my usual routine once I arrived at the shop, and the normalcy helped me keep things off my mind.
After opening up I spent a good portion of the morning rearranging the shop to try and draw in more customers. It hasn't worked yet, but I'm not giving up hope. I have to keep this place going at all costs, and now, there’s hope. I have a list of gimmicks and things at home I can still try, it's just a matter of putting them into action.
I need to call Mr. Stevens and make an offer, too, but the wound is still so raw, I just need a little bit of time to work up the courage. Maybe this afternoon.
After that, I went to the backroom and disinfect and clean the whole area, erasing any trace of my tryst in there with Dom. I also organize my desk. I didn't want to spend more time in there than necessary, after the memories of losing my virginity, so I come back out to the front and put some music on.
