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“You… you know I’m your friend before anything else, right?” I said.
His eyes snapped up to meet mine.
“I mean it,” I said. “I think we could make a great porn duo, but I don’t want any of that if you aren’t my friend first.”
His eyebrows lifted, almost imperceptibly. “I can’t believe you would call me a friend at all,” he said.
I bit the inside of my cheek, clutching the hot coffee mug. “When you first came to Red’s, I wouldn’t have,” I said. “I’m not going to lie about that. But… things have changed. A lot. You’ve changed a lot.”
The wall I’d put up between me and Liam had crumbled by now, almost completely. I hadn’t even known it was gone until I started to tell him how I felt.
Liam looked like I’d just told him he won the lottery.
He ran his fingers through his hair. “Sometimes I think more has changed in the last couple months of my life than any other time before it,” Liam said. “I feel like I’m struggling just to keep my head above water, you know?”
“I felt that way when I first moved to Amberfield,” I said.
“Really?”
“Hell yes,” I said. “I didn’t know anybody here. All I knew was that land was cheap, I could open my own bar, and nobody laughed at me for looking like a cowboy.”
“Oh, please. Everyone in LA thought you were a hot cowboy, anyway.”
I grinned. “But I definitely fit in a little better here.”
He let out a long breath. “I just hope that I’m… strong enough,” he said, meeting my eyes again. “Strong enough to get through this new start.”
“Well, no matter how rough it is, the change is making you shine, Liam,” I said.
Warmth was welling up inside me, filling me with heat even more than the damn cup of coffee. I was so proud of who Liam was turning out to be.
Suddenly he leaned over toward me, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. A rush of adrenaline coursed through me at the unexpected touch. He kissed me slowly, nothing like the lustful hunger of last night.
I reached out, clutching the edge of his robe.
It was a kiss that felt like a small shared moment between two people who have been together for years.
It felt good. It felt so fucking good, like in an instant, I was linked to Liam again, remembering every way in which I used to fit with him. How much I used to care for him. We had been more than just typical fuck buddies, back in the day—I’d been crazy enough to think that he was my soulmate.
And that’s when the spike of fear moved through my heart like ice. I pulled back, clearing my throat and taking a sip of scalding coffee.
I pulled in a deep breath. “I really need to get back to my girls,” I said. “They’re waiting on their morning food right now.”
My heart was beating like crazy all of a sudden. It didn’t matter how physical I’d been with Liam in the past couple of weeks. That fucking kiss had been a reminder of just how much I could lose myself in him, how quickly I could forget everything else in my life other than Liam Hardy.
That kiss had felt somewhere closer to love than lust.
I was so scared to go back to that. I’d worked for ten years to gain my independence, to be able to subsist and be happy completely on my own. If Liam was going to be in my life, I couldn’t let him consume me like that again. Like he was already consuming me.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” Liam said quietly, dropping his head. “I know you don’t want me like that—”
“I want you in all kinds of ways, Liam,” I said, letting out a breath. “You… don’t have to apologize. I loved that kiss more than you could imagine.”
“I still shouldn’t have done it,” he said.
I bit my lower lip. “Probably not,” I said. “But I know you. And I know myself. So I know neither one of us is going to be able to keep our cocks in our pants if we’re around each other.”
He puffed out a bitter laugh, moving his robe to the side to show me that he was hard under his boxer briefs.
“I’m so fucking turned on being close to you,” he said. “I know I can’t control that.”
“Exactly,” I said. “If we are going to continue making porn videos together, it’s probably inevitable that we... won’t be able to keep our hands off each other.”
He swallowed hard, and I saw his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. “Right.”
“You’re experienced with keeping relationships strictly sexual,” I said. “And I would like to keep doing those things with you if you want to keep doing them with me. But I have wounds from the past.”
