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“A funny story?” Char questions. “What are you talking about, Jude?”
After a final deep breath, I stare down the barrel of the gun and let my response come out in a rush. “So, we were at a strip club, and, well, the strippers, they got a little crazy and did this whole dance thing, and one might have, kind of, sort of, torn Rem’s boxers with her shoe, and so, yeah, his underwear are kind of destroyed, but he’s good. No injuries at all. Not even a scratch.”
Quick and to the point. Perfect.
“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” Char questions, and her voice turns all squeaky and high-pitched. Kind of like when you’re a kid and your mom gets real ticked off at you.
Abort! Abort!
“Huh?”
“Jude, what the fuck are you talking about?”
Fucking hell…
I sit there in silence for a good ten seconds with Remy staring laser beams into my skull and Ty silently laughing his ass off.
I mean, this story sounds like the most ridiculous tale that’s ever been told.
I didn’t realize that until it was coming out of my mouth.
But now that I’ve heard it out loud, it doesn’t even sound real.
Especially when you’re explaining it to your brother’s future wife.
So, I do what any man in my situation would do…
I fake connection issues.
“Char? You still there?” I question, even though I can clearly hear her voice on the other end of the line.
“Jude! I know you can hear me!”
“Hello? Hello? I can’t seem to hear anything you’re saying, Char. It’s the damnedest…thing… Hello…? Are…there…Charlotte… Can’t…hear…”
And then I hit end on the call.
“Bad connection,” I say and slide the phone back to Remy.
He scowls.
“You know that we don’t need cell service to hear what you’re saying when we’re sitting right next to you, don’t you?” Flynn asks, the astute fucker.
“You know how it is inside Taco Bells, man.” I shrug, playing it off despite being completely and utterly exposed in my lies. I have a motto when it comes to shit like this, and it’s never say die. I don’t care how much evidence someone has against me. I am of a greater resolve, and I will outlast them. “Never very good service. Must have something to do with all the grills and stuff like that.”
“You spend that much time in Taco Bells that you know they have bad cell service?” Ty asks, thankfully lost enough to semi-bolster my point.
I just shrug again and sink my concentration into leveling my pile of food. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.
But with Ty laughing his ass off now and Rem tossing eye daggers toward my head, other than the trays of half-eaten fast food, there’re not a lot of other things around me to focus on.
Rem’s phone vibrates from the table, and I don’t miss the fact that it’s a text notification from Char.
Oh boy.
I can’t not watch as he picks it up and reads it. But the bastard doesn’t say anything, and since Ty’s occupied with whatever the fuck amuses him and Flynn’s not the type to scoop water out of another man’s sinking ship, I have to be the one to ask.
“So, is she, uh, mad?” I tread carefully.
Instead of responding with words, he turns the phone around toward me so that I can read the screen.
Charlotte: Tell Jude I know he could hear me and that was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard in my life. The only way for him to atone for his sins is to wear a thong at our wedding.
I look up from the phone and meet Rem’s shit-eating grin.
“Shall we do a little shopping tomorrow, Jude?” he asks. “A little trip to the mall, perhaps? I think you can probably find exactly what you’re looking for at Victoria’s Secret.”
“What?” Ty asks, glancing between the two of us. “What’s going on?”
Rem turns the phone toward Ty and Flynn so they can read the text.
Instantly, Flynn cracks a smile, and Ty bursts into outright cackles.
“Oh, hell yeah!” he hoots. “Maybe we should go back to that strip club and see if you can borrow one of Sunshine’s G-strings?”
That suggestion makes Rem light up like a goddamn Christmas tree. “Even though I’d rather cut off my right nut than go in that place again, I think that’s a grand-fucking-idea.”
Flynn nods accordingly. “Same.”
And I do what Jude Winslow does best…I go with the flow and have some motherfucking fun with it.
“All right. Fine. I’m prepared to righteously seek forgiveness from my future sister-in-law,” I announce. “Rem text Char back and let her know I’m in. But I’m buying my own panties. Jude Winslow doesn’t share his thongs with anyone else.”
Remy shakes his head on a laugh. “You’re insane, you know that?”
“Definitely not the first time I’ve heard that.” I smirk, leaning back in the booth and relaxing one arm on the ledge.
