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ander is the hottest lay of the day."
"No hot Highlander is going to want an old lady like me," I said with a pout. "God, I can't believe I'm thirty."
It was my birthday. My thirtieth birthday. Ugh. Where had all the time gone? It wasn't like I was on the brink of old age or anything, but when you hit the big 3-0, certain bucket list items should have been checked off. Sure, my career was taking off. I was on track for partner at the law firm. I owned my own house. That was the boring stuff. I hadn't done any of the good stuff, like travel. I'd never been out of the country, not even to Canada. I'd start simple with an English speaking country. Australia. England. No, Scotland. Definitely Scotland. Why a man in a kilt made my panties damp instead of the new James Bond guy or a tattooed motorcycle rider, I'd never know. But finding one in my Midwest hometown was pretty much impossible. At least, I hadn't found one yet. Not even a man in a kilt. Just a man.
I certainly hadn't done one yet. I wasn't a virgin. I'd had a few men in my lifetime, but nothing memorable. Or memorable enough.
No pushed up against the wall, headboard banging, sheet tangling, wild monkey sex. No crazy sex toys or even handcuffs. No spanking. Not even the tiniest bit of kink, and for some reason, I liked kink. Worst of all, no all consuming climaxes. Just small little O's. Not the big O. At thirty—thirty!—I damn well deserved one. Just one.
I groaned, then took a big gulp of my drink. "You're all so much younger. Your girl parts aren't old like mine."
Tracy was only three months younger, but Ali and Hannah were both twenty-seven. I was the first to be an official old maid. If I got much older, I'd be classified a cougar.
"You make it sound like you're on the brink of menopause." Hannah glanced at her phone, then frowned. "I have to go. I'm sure my boss is going to be thrilled I'm tipsy at work, but maybe it will help coming up with ideas for this ad campaign I'm working on."
Lunch on a Thursday was the only time we could all get together. We were all busy so getting together was tricky. I'd normally be sitting at my desk with a take-out container of Chinese slaving over some brief.
"Thanks for meeting me on my birthday," I replied, smiling. Hannah came around the table and I stood for a hug.
"I'll share a cab. I have to meet with my editor," Ali added. She finished off her glass, then stood too. "I'm so glad you're the first one, not me. You can be the first to find a man."
Wouldn't that be nice? Totally unrealistic, but nice. All three of them were gorgeous. Tall and willowy like models. They'd all played college volleyball together and I'd been Tracy's roommate. Unlike them, I was petite and curvy with large breasts, so volleyball wasn't for me. I wasn't not pretty, some of the men who'd made it into my bed had told her me I was beautiful. Of course, every one of them commented on how spectacular my D-sized breasts were. A guy would say anything, though, as I undid the front clasp of my bra.
"Me?" I pointed at myself. "I'm the short one. If you three can't get dates, then I'm doomed."
"Whatever," Ali said, rolling her eyes at me before she left with a backward wave. Clearly she didn't agree with me.
I sat down across from Tracy and finished off my wine. "I'm glad I took the afternoon off," I said. "I doubt I could stay awake through a deposition."
She lifted her wine glass in a toast. "I'm on the four o'clock flight." As a pharmaceutical rep, she travelled for work frequently. She got to see new places. I got to see the four walls of my office sixty hours a week. "I'm sorry I have to leave you on your big day and that we can't celebrate in style this weekend."
I waved away her concern. "It's fine." It was. I was making a big deal out of turning thirty and I shouldn't. I had a great job, I owned my own apartment and I had spectacular boobs. Plus, I had the afternoon off. "Besides, it'll be your turn soon enough and we'll party then for the both of us."
She grinned. "Deal." Crossing her arms over her chest, she looked at me sharply and said, "You're gorgeous, you know."
I flushed at the compliment but said nothing.
"You are. Just because you're not giraffe tall like the three of us doesn't mean anything." She pointed at me. "I'd kill for breasts like yours. Seriously woman."
I'd heard this before. "Fine, fine. We'll find a dominant duke who likes giraffes for you and a Highlander who likes curvy, short girls for me."
"Deal. You find them and I'll be on the first flight home." She glanced at her watch. "I've got to go. I haven't even packed yet." Raising her hand, she flagged down the waiter for the check. "What are you going to do with the rest of your day? God, I can't believe you actually took half a day."
I never took off work. Ever. Being on track to make junior partner, I didn't dare. I'd be a stodgy lawyer the rest of my life, but I only turned thirty once, so drinking in the afternoon with girlfriends was definitely needed. "I'm going shopping."
Instead of moping about having a little pity party about my non-existent sex life, or lack thereof, I needed a little retail therapy. A new pair of killer heels would make any woman feel better. I wouldn't go to the big mall, but intstead the trendy, boutique shops in town. One shop in particular was my favorite and it was usually dangerous for my bank account to even window shop, but not today. Today I was splurging.
Tracy frowned. "That's not fair. I want to go, too."
I gave a shrug. "Tough. I'll get those gorgeous red heels we've been eyeing at Charm."
"Bitch," she muttered, signing the credit card slip.
"You'll borrow them and you know it," I countered.
A smile curved her lips. "True, but don't have too much fun without me."
***
