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Gray watched me closely, silently.
“I’ll have to catch up with you,” Thor told us. “My wife’s going to kill me if I don’t get home. Kids,” he added, as if that clarified everything.
“How old are they?” I asked. This was a topic I was familiar and comfortable with.
“Four and six. Boys.”
I nodded, a little wistful. It was at rare moments when I longed to see my son, to hear his voice, even to have him little again. “I remember that age. It’s hard.”
Gray looked to me, his face neutral. “You have kids?”
“Yes, a son.”
By his look, I couldn’t tell if he was okay with this or not. Some men wanted a woman with no strings attached, and a kid was a big string. A guy with kid issues was an obvious deal breaker for me. Chris might be in college, but he wasn’t going anywhere. This wasn’t a real date so it wasn’t as if Gray was going to end it. It hadn’t even started.
Thor gave me the look of a suffering parent. “Then you can understand.” He ran his hand through his goatee. “The babysitter comes in an hour so Laura can join us at the bar. A few hours of just grownups.”
“I’m past the babysitting stage now,” I shared. “Some things get easier.”
His smile slipped and looked as if I’d kicked his puppy. “Only some things?”
I laughed at the forlorn look on such a brute of a man. “Only some things.”
“How old is your son?” Gray asked.
“Eighteen.”
Both men stared at me, stunned. Thor's mouth even dropped open.
“Eighteen? Holy hell, woman,” Thor said. “You were just a baby when you had him. Is he a senior this year? Can he babysit?” His look changed to eagerness at the idea of a possible babysitter.
“I was twenty, so not much of a baby. And no, he’s in college.”
“They actually leave the house?” Thor sounded very eager for the idea. Toddlers were insane and exhausting and he was probably questioning his reasons for having them in the first place right about now.
I patted him reassuringly on his sweaty arm, the muscle beneath my palm rock hard. “They do, but it’s hard now that he’s gone. My job is done.” I tried to keep my voice light, but I’m sure it sounded wistful.
“Where does he go to school?” Gray questioned.
“Naval Academy.”
“Very impressive,” Thor added. “You must be really proud of him. Look, I’ve got to go or Laura will bury me in the backyard. I’ll catch up with you guys later?”
Both Gray and I nodded and Thor jogged off.
People were packing up and leaving, the two of us almost the only ones left from the game. “So…” I let the word hang as I glanced up at him, unsure of myself, of standing in the middle of an empty field with him. Had it been a bad idea to come after all? “Do…do you still want me to go with you?”
He frowned. “Why wouldn’t I?”
I looked down at my bright pink toenails, swiped my foot over the blades of grass. “I’m a mother.”
Leaning down, he looked me in the eye and I had to meet his steady gaze. “From what I gather, a pretty good one.”
The compliment made me smile, although somewhat shyly. I had to know where he stood because I could walk away now with only a dent in my pride. I knew if I spent much time with him there was a chance I could be truly hurt. “That’s not going to change. Being a mother, I mean. Does that bother you?”
“If you said you had a five-year-old, it might. Not because of the reasons you think.”
I lifted my chin, waiting. I’d wanted honesty.
