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She raises her eyebrows in surprise. It is time to hear my demands, baby.
“I will leave with the children, only if you meet my requirements. I won’t accept no for an answer.” This time, I raise my eyebrows in a dare, waiting for her objections. Too astounded to speak, she waits silently. “I want you to accept my financial help for this whole year.”
“No. Don’t even think that I will sign up for this.” She jumps to her feet in anger. As she rounds on me, she places her hands on the armrest, caging me in. The avenging angel has fire in her eyes, ready to burn me if I push too far.
I am too dangerous to her independent streak. Well, too bad for you, my love. I will not bend this time.
“Second, I will be paying for your ongoing therapy and other expenses.” She opens her mouth to say something, but then gets a calculating look that tells me she will bite me the minute she sees an opening.
For now, she is looking for the right moment to seize the opportunity. Cassandra's angry and offended.
“Third. Not negotiable. The twins and I will be visiting every month, and staying for at least five days with you.” I wait.
“Logan…” Frustrated, she spins around. Placing her hands on the window, she tries to control her emotions.
“During this visit, you will sleep with me in bed.” I pause. “You and the twins need to reconnect. You are important to me, Cassandra.”
~Cassandra~
“Fourth. You won’t be going back to work at least for six months,” he informs me, with the persistence that never failed to make me mad.
“You are a fool to think that I will sign up for any of this, Logan. A job could give me the confidence to recover faster. And your ways of trying to control me with the financial aid worked only because of the twins. I won’t be a kept woman. I have more respect than that.” My out-of-control breaths make it hard for me to talk, so I try to calm myself before continuing.
“Besides, this separation is to protect them from my unstable mental state, is it not? Why the constant teasing with the things we can’t have? It will kill me to keep splitting up, over and over again. I will have to go through this withdrawal process often. Logan, it will take too much energy to settle down my mind.”
I let out a frustrated sound. After a long pause, he delivers the final blow.
“Five. You won’t have any sexual relationship with any other man but me.”
I find Logan standing behind me, and I twist around to face him. Without any sympathy, I hit him across the cheek, raging that he thinks I’ll bend that easily.
“Who do you think you are? You don’t get to control my life. How did you think this conversation will go, Logan? Will you threaten me next? Will you take my chance to get my children back if you find a man in my bed? I refuse to become your puppet. What happened to the one year you promised me? You’re supposed to not push for commitment!” I yell.
Terrified to lose my kids, I whimper in fear. This can’t be happening. I trusted this man’s intentions. I agreed to let him take charge of our financial situation when he convinced me he needed to be able to provide for his kids. He couldn’t tolerate the thought of them living the “humble” life.
“Calm down, please. I don’t want you caged, or to make you my puppet.” His honest expression slays me. “I just want to have your promise that we are not done here. I have faith that we will be able to have a chance to become a real family. You are giving up hope. What happens when you’re left alone or struggle tomorrow, or maybe the day after? Will you give up entirely?”
“How can you say that? Of course I will be fighting!” I’m shaking, out of breath. Scared and hurt that he doubts me.
“Will you? There will be an ocean separating us. You will be alone, on your own. I respect your need to work and be self-reliant, but I need you to give me something in return.”
His steadfast gaze reaches my heart. “I need to bind you. This promise assures me that we are not done. Give all your time and energy to find a way back out of this mess instead worrying about finances.”
I stare at him, enraged and confused. Damn it, he wants to tie me into a deal where I have no options.
“Financial aid only means simply to take care of your needs. Is it too selfish to demand to be mine? I want to help. When you are dealing with the trauma and think that there is nothing for you out there, I want you to remember this, us, me.” He comes closer, trying to permanently mark my soul.
My back is pressed against the glass window, and it’s the only thing holding me up. My legs become heavy, and my heart constricts in my chest. I am terrified of the arduous journey ahead of me. I might fail.
The unknown bothers me more than anything. Amplified fears are playing with my heartbeat like a kid with drums. I am trying to push it away. I don’t want to fail.
Clutching my chest, I let silent tears flow down my cheeks. I’m exhausted. So, I lean into his chest for suppor
t. Logan scoops me up and brings me to bed.
“It doesn’t feel right to agree to your terms. I don’t know if I can do it. At least reconsider the third rule. A few months apart could mean a lot to me.”
“Let’s give you two months then.” His quiet voice rumbles in his chest as I listen to his heartbeat.
