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Chapter 8
FACING THE TRUTH
~Cassandra~
Swirling destructive emotions are twisting inside me. The revolting slimy substance drags me under, and I feel nauseous and disorientated. I see their mangled bodies, hear their cries for help. My children’s deformed bodies were entombed in the car. Nate’s cry echoes in my mind, bringing painful stomach cramps, and I feel sick.
“Mummy!” A high-pitched scream.
The will to live has been sucked out of me. I hear Sandra’s grieving voice, and it makes me so outraged. Infuriated. I want to kill her with my own bare hands. Shut up! The floodgate opens, allowing all the pain to tear me apart. I curl up into a ball, waiting for it to end.
So much agony, I can’t breathe. The screams, the laughs, mixed up with cries and giggles, ending in a horrifying screech. It’s pure torment. Above the murky water, I hear someone calling me. The determined voice is luring me back. Logan.
“Cassandra, baby, look at me, please.”
Go away!
The agonizing screams fill up the water. It twirls like a hurricane inside. I force my eyes to open. Logan is trying to talk to me, and I attempt to push him away.
His hand brushes my hair. “Stop it!”
My eyes fill with tears, and I start to convulse as my muscles fight aggravating feelings. Someone sticks a needle in my arm, and I become numb. Weightless, I float in silence.
Dry leaves crunch underneath my boots as I wrap my cardigan around me. The chill of the morning invades my bones as a thick mist surrounds the trees and covers the ground. It is hard for me to see the path or recognize the place.
Then I see the metal plates embedded in the ground. Further away from the rocky mountain, I find Nate’s broken body arranged at an awkward angle. I fall to my knees, and turn the child around to face me. His face, illuminated by the moon, looks into the nothingness. The unshed tears are shining in his blue eyes. The features are frozen in a pleading expression.
My heart constricts in my chest. The horror gets caught in my throat. The symphony of the storm gathers in my chest, and the agony rips through me.
“Wake up, Cassandra. Please wake up, love. Look at me. It’s me, Logan. You are safe. It was just a dream. Breathe.”
Forcing my eyes to open, I see his warm and concerned face.
Fascinated, I reach up to touch his creased eyebrows, trying to smooth them. I travel to his jaw, the stubble tickling my fingers. Then I brush his lips, and he lets out a breath. My hand dips down, following his chin, to his neck. I find his heart and, mesmerized, I watch my palm rise and fall, sensing the powerful rhythm behind the muscles.
“I am here.”
Soon, I am enveloped in Logan’s hands and he studies me. Fire’s burning in his heart, and there’s a wild challenge in his eyes. It pulls me to him like a butterfly seeking to kiss the light.
“I’m awake,” I tell him, trying again to calm the rapid drumming underneath my palm. He lets out a relieved breath and presses his lips to my forehead. I close my eyes, content.
“Take a shower, I’ll wait for you.” His gentle tone propels me to the bathroom.
When we descend the stairs a short while later, I drop my head in shame. I follow him behind, no longer recognizing where my place is. I feel like the shredded layers of my skin makes me a person I don’t know anymore. We walk towards the kitchen, where all the family is gathered around the island, including my twins.
My gaze locks on their small forms. Only I’m incapable of moving, my feet stuck to the ground. Logan’s arm presses against my lower back, trying to propel me forward. I am dizzy with fear, my emotions wreaking havoc. Then panic joins the party, and I see spots. I can’t blink them away.
“It’s ok, Cassandra.” Logan’s voice anchors me.
Leif holds my hand and Raine kisses my head as I sit. Aisha brings tea, putting it in front of me. I watch it, confused why they are being so kind to me.
“Well, probably because we want you to cook for us…” Leif speaks up, making me wonder if I said it out loud.
“You are family. How are we supposed to speak?” Aisha tells me, frustrated, but Logan clears his throat. A warning. Great.
“Want some breakfast?” Lucas looks at me, waiting for me to respond as I try to understand the situation. But then he turns towards the fridge without waiting for an answer.
“Dr. Neil will be coming to speak with you.” Logan’s green eyes are full of empathy as he looks at me while I try to process his words. “She wants to discuss the plan of treatment with you. I want to be present, if you don’t mind.” I shake my head, but suddenly I realize he misunderstood me.
