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Taken by surprise, Leif tousles his hair as he scratches his forehead, pondering something but then shakes it off, quickly regaining his cheerful composure. “Let’s eat!”
“Did you get her number for extracurricular activities?” Raine asks Lucas, wiggling her eyebrows, but he just smiles and winks at her.
“By the way, we found the tree. It was delivered just after you left. We need to get those lights and decorations today,” Lucas tells us with the broadest smile on his face. He looks like a kid who is waiting for the magical Santa Claus to bring him presents.
“Also, I know that you’re dealing with a lot, but Mum and Dad are both asking about you. Would you consider calling them or, I don’t know, inviting them over for Christmas?” Slowly, I turn to see Raine’s grim face. “You don’t have to, Cassandra. I won’t make you, just saying.”
Eventually, we return home after buying decorations for the tree. At the door, the largest Christmas tree we’ve ever seen occupies most of the living room, closest to the door. Frozen to the spot, I look at the giant tree with an open mouth. The smell of pine is bringing back childhood memories.
I feel Aisha’s hand gripping my shoulder. Apparently, she’s suffering from astounded glory too. Raine is the only one who dares to come close enough to smell and touch the bluish-green spikes and kneel to check if it's secured. I am lost for words. Then, I turn to the boys, finding mischievous ecstatic grins on their faces as they stand side-by-side, as brothers-in-arms. They robbed the forest of this beauty.
Raine has tears in her eyes, so she turns away to hide her emotions from the boys who feel so overjoyed about their bonding experience earlier today.
“Do you like it?” Leif is still waiting for our excited shrieks and happy dances as we all stand there, open-mouthed.
“We thought you were going to buy the artificial one.”
“We always had real at home. Smelling the woods inside your home is wonderful. Actually, we had to order it from Canada.” Lucas surprises me with that information. I look at Aisha for help, but she shrugs, leaving it to me.
“Thank you. It is gorgeous and smells divine. It will look amazing with all the lights and bling.”
Their expressions fall. “What is it, girls? Why is there no enthusiasm?” Leif looks a bit lost.
“The tree is fabulous, but it will slowly wither and die after the holidays.”
“I never thought about it like that. Don’t you decorate live trees in Lithuania?” Lucas asks, confused.
“We do, but they are not as huge as…this one.”
Lucas whispers, “I am sorry,”
and kisses my temple.
Leif asks us, “ Do you want the tree to be gone?” His expression, like a wounded boy, digs in my chest.
“Aye, aye, Captain!” both men answer, and we start planning how to decorate the sacrificed tree. Feeling a little bit melancholy, I find some music to soothe me, then bring treats to the decorating gang. The nostalgic sorrow brings me back to a memory of Christmas.
The tears blur my vision, bringing bittersweet memories. The artificial tree is barricaded by boxes and chairs, keeping it safe from a curious little Ethan. The tree is blinking with the bluish lights, encouraging him to explore the twinkling beauty. My little boy stands there, trying to push away the setup, so he can rip the glittery toys from the mystical tree.
“Mum, do you see this? He is not giving up!” an amused Nate shouts, then he chats with his irritated little brother. Our snickers echo as I recall all four of us, jovial and cheery.
Sam’s hands wrap around my torso as he kisses my shoulder, chuckling at our youngest boy’s determination to conquer. “How are we going to keep him still all this month? He will get to it eventually, and get all those teasing sparkling toys before Santa has a chance to come.”
“What are we going to do with you, my little brother?”
The little fiend turns around, screeching, and hits Nate for not helping. “Hey, don’t slap me! I’m not allowed to touch it either.”
With a trembling lip, a teary-eyed one-and-a-half-year-old boy looks upset at his big brother. Nate pulls him into an embrace, telling him that it will be ok and then distracts him with a car race.
The memory dissolves. The pain is sharp with yearning.
“Cassandra…” A male’s throaty voice laced with deep timbre speaks. My skin pebbles with goose bumps and a shiver runs down my skin. The pulsing energy is throbbing with leashed emotions. Slowly, I turn to face him. My breath lodges in my throat as I see him.
Logan.
He’s wearing a dark maroon sweater underneath a black wool coat. His green eyes contrast with the color of his clothes, making them look darker and more intense. Black weathered jeans and sleek black shoes complement his well-built figure. But it’s his expression that renders me speechless.
“Did you miss me, Angel?”
