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“I love you. I truly do. You were my solace, friend, family, a partner in ridiculous endeavors. When I felt the abyss pulling me down, you filled it with laughter and dragged me out.”
He tries to slip from my grip, but I’m not done with him. I need him to hear it.
“But you also clung to me for the same reason I clung to you.” My lip trembles as his eyes well up.
Leif hates emotional stuff. This is his Achilles’ heel. He spends too much time being alpha male, riding a motorbike, and having sex to sink deeper into his emotions. And he has a huge heart, full of goodness and love.
He cradles me like I’m his baby sister. I allow him, knowing it’s time to move on. But then I push away from his embrace so I can tell him.
“You nurtured my family, loved us the way we needed it. I saw Logan in you. I clung to you because this way it hurt less. This way, I could pretend he was with me.”
Leif’s shaking and his face twists in helpless denial. But I need to set him free from that guilt he’s carrying.
“It’s your turn, buddy, to be a father for your baby daughter and a husband to a woman who loves you. It’s your time to enjoy your life. I’m okay now. You don’t need to extend the cord and pull me back from the void anymore.”
I come closer to the glass door and open it. The fresh air from outside hits me in the face and brings me clarity and strength to do this.
I rise on my toes to kiss him on the cheek. “Time to go home, buddy,” I whisper, hoping he understands what I’m doing.
He holds the frame, resting his forehead on it and watching me, still unable to force words out. Instead, Leif leans in to kiss my forehead, lingering there with his lips, and then he leaves.
My heart breaks a little bit more, seeing his shoulders hunched forward and hands shoved in his pockets. His face twisted in hurt like I kicked him out from my life forever. I didn’t.
A sob bursts free as I slide down the glass to sit on the floor.
“Hey, come here.”
I gasp when familiar hands draw me into his broad chest. And then I melt in Mark’s warm embrace, surrounded by his spicy musk. I clutch onto his shoulders like he is my anchor.
“I’m here, sweetheart, let it go. Let it all rip.”
Mark sits with me on the floor, rocking me until my heart full of anguish feels lighter, and tears finally dry out. Without a single word, he picks me up and takes me to the bedroom. Mark begins to undress me as I watch his every move detached, too numb to care. My lips glued together. I have no strength left to do it myself.
Mark’s movements are careful, gentle, and full of warmth and precision. He’s in control, and it brings me peace that I don’t have to explain anything to him. He simply knows what I need. He strips me naked. And it feels like he stripped me not only of my clothes but also my skin. Like he exposed my muscles, nerves, and other ligaments. And now, he’s looking straight into my bare soul. Open raw and vulnerable.
But Mark’s secrets are like a shard of glass full of sharp edges that might shred my soul to pieces if I’m not careful.
“You’re going to break me.”
“No, baby. I want to mend your heart. Claim every single broken piece of you, and love you with every agonizing breath,” he tells me.
I wind my fingers in his hair and tug him up until his face aligns with mine. Our lips connect, shattering every single wall of anguish. I moan as his passionate lips claim mine, taking charge of our frantic bodies, trying to get closer.
“Mark.” His lips are too hungry to let me talk. His hands roam everywhere.
“Take off your clothes.” I force the words out when he lets me up for air.
I need him naked and bare, just like I feel. Raw. Emotional. Exposed.
Mark rises to his full height and takes his clothes off, never breaking contact, as if his willpower alone could keep me splayed on the sheets. I watch him stalk me, claiming the space and air I’m breathing.
Aroused, Mark looks like a warrior ready to conquer. A dominant power waiting to master my body and nurture my soul. But right now, he’s the one who needs to relent his control and trust me with his past.
“You’re mine, no matter what.” A possessive growl rattles deep in his throat, sending shivers down my spine. He prowls on all fours until his muscular frame hovers above me, searching my eyes.
He settles his weight on me, and my skin electrifies at the contact. I feel his chest rise and fall, and mine responds, syncing with his breathing. Connected, chest to chest, we gaze at each other, looking for the things deeper than the skin or bone marrow.
There are no shields between us, no walls enacted, but a million secrets hovering in golden depths. Mark’s gaze is full of hunger and those demons, but in the center of it, there is love. I clutch onto it, afraid to let the rest of it drown me.
