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“You’ve never allowed me to forget,” I simply state, feeling a pit in my stomach start to burn with injustice. “But it wasn’t my fault Logan died, was it?” I lock my gaze onto her, watching her facial muscles twitch in irritation. “You knew the truth from the beginning and let me carry this burden for so long. Why?”
“Because if he didn’t come to London, he would have been alive. And that is on you,” she spits words at me like daggers, flying straight toward me.
“You let me live with guilt and anguish, believing I caused his demise. You told me whoever loves me will die, and I believed you.” That fear, even now, has such a huge grasp on me. “You wanted to punish me, to see me struggle and on my knees, so you wouldn’t need to feel the guilt and responsibility for your son’s death. You placed it on my shoulders, using this devastation against me, and then watched me drown like an ant in her own tears.”
“That’s not true.” She jumps to her feet, her frame shaking and hands balled at her sides as if she’s ready to swing them at me. Her perfect façade, falling to pieces, and I’m about to crumble her throne, tear her power from her hands.
“And it wasn’t my love that killed your son. It was hatred for your family.” I crane my neck to look at her profile, needing to understand her. “And you still served that monster your son’s heart, knowing this is a piece of him, living inside the boy who never knew love.”
She pales, and her muscles go slack until I watch the wax figurine without a single speck of blush on her cheeks as she stares at me. “You know.”
“Lester was thrilled to tell me, just before he aimed his gun to shoot us.” My chin quivers, but I push through the emotions with all the strength I have. “How could you send Mark to that monster when he’s a keeper of your son’s heart?”
“I didn’t, I swear.” Her eyes glow with refusal. “He wouldn’t listen to us.” She tries to defend herself. “Mark contacted Lester himself.”
Of course he did. Mark knew that if he failed, Lester would break my babies, destroy me. He understood how evil and truly dangerous he was.
“Perhaps he would have trusted your judgment if you hadn’t stolen his chance to have a true family and know love. You made that choice for him, and he never learned to trust you. You stripped him of the chance to have a loving, caring family and safety.” I look at her heaving with emotions, flickering through her green eyes faster than the lightning.
She opens her mouth and shuts it closed as her crown crumbles at her feet. I finally see a human being. A woman with her flaws and mistakes, and desperate need to redeem herself.
“If you had told me, we could have protected my twins better, got prepared to fight this enemy. We could have made a better plan and had more control over how things turned out. We could have prevented all of this terror my children went through. But my opinion didn’t matter to you, did it?”
“We tried to protect you the best we could, you heard Darren,” she weakly blubbers.
“But you didn’t. You worked with agencies, but you forgot your family and how strong it is if we just had a chance to work together.”
“We succeeded, haven’t we? We brought you home. No more Lester, no more slave island.”
I jump to my feet like someone threw a stick of dynamite in the pit of my stomach.
“We’re alive not because of the perfect rescue mission, Helen. But because of Lester’s ego. He could have easily ordered his men to rape me, or my children, like he once did to Mark. He had five days to do it. Five damn long days.” I shake with resentment boiling inside my guts that she still doesn’t get it. “You took a chance to entrust the monster to hold his end of the deal. I understand your hate toward me, but you love my babies. They’re part of your son. How the fuck did you dare to gamble with my children’s lives?”
I didn’t even notice how the space between us vanished, and I stand toe to toe with her, breathing fire.
“We had everything under control.” She trembles, and I see my words are making holes in her logic that kept her righteous façade intact. Now it is crumbling like a castle at her feet.
“No, you did not.” I jab a finger at her chest, and she steps back, surprised at my violent fury. I jab a finger again, and she stumbles. “It was pure luck Lester hadn’t killed us a few seconds after he heard the first explosions.”
Helen freezes, gaping in shock as if someone just sucked the air from her lungs. Her green eyes fill up with terror and my fury withers.
“Your resentment for me almost left my kids orphans.”
“We tried to save our family! We tried to protect you!” Her shouts echo around us, scaring the birds. They bat their wings and leave us in the middle of the storm.
“Don’t you lie to me,” I clip and she gives in.
“You’re right, it was hard to see past my loss. I did enjoy seeing you punished, even if I knew the truth. Part of me wanted your pain.”
I blink and step back as if she punched me.
“From now on, don’t you dare to look at me from above, Helen. Not after this, not ever.”
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Watching her glowing cheeks and eyes filled with fear, I finally grasp why I needed to speak with her. She has something that doesn’t belong to her.
“My self-worth was never yours to own. But it took me this long to understand the truth. I’m not worthless of love or second chances. I’m a woman just like you, wearing my flaws on my skin and living with my mistakes.”
