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“I’m our son’s mom,” she said. This was just too much for her. “Please, take me home.”
“Fine. I’ll take you home, but you can’t get rid of me. You don’t like it, and I get it, but we do have to talk.”
She watched the dark scenery go by. “You know I’ve thought about this moment a lot. At first when I found out I was pregnant, I figured you’d come back, and I’d tell you. Everything would be fine.”
“I never came back.”
“You never came back, and then I couldn’t leave. There’s a lot of seasonal work here. Killian, our son, he loves the ocean, or he did.”
“I read pretty hard shit about him.”
She stared at him, waiting for more.
“Been caught by the cops for some petty crap,” Killian said.
“I don’t know how you’ve got that information, but I don’t like it. It’s nothing. Just some trouble that he’s getting into. He’s at that age, acting out.” She ran fingers through her hair. This was a topic she hated more than anything.
The first time two cops had come to her door as they’d held Killian by the scruff of his neck. Since then she’d had a social worker involved, the school, pretty much anyone who wanted to take Killian away, had been in touch.
She loved her son more than anything else in the world, and she couldn’t, wouldn’t live without him.
Killian parked outside of her apartment block, and she felt his judgment coming off him in waves.
“I still can’t believe your parents didn’t help you out.”
“To them I was nothing more than a whore. I ruined myself by being with you. No scholarship, no family, and I was alone. All I had was that little boy. This is the best I can afford. I’m working all the hours I can to get us better. I’m trying.” She opened the car door, and began to walk away from him. She didn’t like how he made her feel.
She needed to pay Melissa and to stop thinking about another lifetime. This man wasn’t the sweet guy she had once known. She’d just watched him shoot men in front of her very eyes. From what she’d heard they were very dangerous men, and yet Killian had killed them with ease. No way were those warning shots. She’d seen the blood and carnage with her own eyes.
Her gut was telling her that she wasn’t going to like hearing the truth about him. They were no longer in a fairytale but in sobering real life.
Killian didn’t let her get far before he grabbed her arm and spun her around. “That boy needs his father, June.”
She couldn’t cry. Refused to cry. “I’ve been everything for my son. I’m doing my best, Killian. Do you even know what it’s like to be a single mother? To have to put your kid into the care of neighbors while you work?”
“I know more about it than you can even imagine.”
“Yeah, right.” She made to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her.
“My mother was a whore,” he said, suddenly.
Looking into his eyes, she didn’t know if that was the truth. Or if he was being an asshole. “You told me your parents were self-employed back in Ireland.”
“They never were. My mother sold her body to every single man that would take her. She had a pimp. I didn’t have a clue who my father was, still don’t.”
Tears filled her eyes. “You think this makes me feel better? You lied to me. Everything you told me back then was nothing but lies. How do I even know what’s real or not?”
Killian pulled her close, cupping her cheek. “My feelings for you, that’s what was real. Every single feeling that we had together, that was all real.”
Damn it!
It would be so easy to fall into his embrace. To forget the damage of the past few years, but she couldn’t do it.
“I don’t even know you.” She pulled away. “I don’t know anything about you. What you do? Why you were here ten years ago? Why you never looked back? I waited for you, you know. I’d go to the beach every single day, getting bigger and bigger, and yet you still didn’t come back.”
“I had no idea you were pregnant, June. I swear to you, I would have come back.” She snorted at that. “I left because I didn’t for a second believe that I was good enough for you. Still don’t. You’re right. I’ve got a lot of secrets. I don’t talk about myself, and to be honest, I never wanted to. I’ve never had the proud parents, or the perfect life. No one’s waiting for me when I go home. There’s nothing for me.”
“I don’t know what to say.” She began walking back to her apartment. There were so many questions. So much confusion. She wanted to tell him to fuck off and to stay at the same time. Everything was all muddled in her head.
