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'Annie, you wouldn't know the truth if it stood up and bit you.' His eyes narrowed still further, becoming grey pinpoints of steel in the darkness of his face. 'There's something wrong here, something not right; I can feel it,' he said grimly. 'I don't know what it is, but I do know you can't fool me any more; that time is past But… there's no reason for you to lie about your virginity—if you are saying you're a virgin?' he asked slowly.
She nodded quickly, her face flaming with humiliation. 'I am.'
'Curiouser and curiouser, as Lewis Carroll would have said. 'She could see the astute, formidable mind ticking over as he absorbed this new information. She kept absolutely still, knowing that the desire that was still hot and fierce between them needed only a slight fanning of the banked-down flames to flare into a raging inferno that would consume them both. 'Right—explain.' He rolled away suddenly, sitting up with his back against the trunk of a tree as he surveyed her with cool, dark eyes.
'Explain?' It was the one thing she couldn't do, and she stared at him for a second before struggling into a sitting position herself, knowing the tears wouldn't exactly have enhanced her already bedraggled appearance. She must look such a sight!
'Here.' He flung a crisp white handkerchief into her lap, but stayed where he was, his gaze intent 'And don't even think of lying,' he warned softly, his voice even and controlled. 'Because rest assured I shall know. I listen to people perjuring themselves too often to mistake.'
'I… I can't really explain. I can't, Hudson. It's over now, we've both got different lives; can't we just leave it at that and… and… ?'
'And what?' he asked grimly as her gaze faltered beneath the stony eyes along with her stumbling voice. 'What do you suggest we do?'
'And part as friends?' she asked hopefully, her voice shaking.
'Annie, that is the most absurd thing you are ever likely to say.' He shook his head slowly, his mouth taut 'Quite the most absurd.'
'I don't see why,' she said quickly. 'You liked me once—'
'I didn't like you,' he countered softly. 'I loved you, Annie, and this is something quite different. Love and hate are first cousins, did you know that? Perhaps not, but through loving you I learnt what hate is too—and believe me when I say you are not my friend. I want an explanation, Annie, and I want it fast.'
'I… I know.' She longed to tell him the truth, to put the burden of the decision on him, to let him take the pain and disappointment and bitterness and share it with her, but she couldn't. His career was his life—he had once told her that the only thing he had ever wanted to be was a lawyer, that he couldn't have imagined being anything else, and, knowing Hudson as she did, she knew, whatever he did, he would have to be the best at it.
Oh, she wished Michael Caxton had never been born…
'Michael told you there was someone else—'
'Are you going back to your original line that that is untrue?' he interrupted caustically, his face darkening.
'No, not exactly,' she said carefully, keeping her eyes fixed on his with superhuman control. His face was a little thinner, leaner, than two years ago, although he had been superbly fit then, and the slight weight loss made him look even more dangerous, sexier… 'It's just that I had no intention of settling down with anyone else when I left you,' she said quietly, the ring of honesty in her voice unmistakable to his trained ears. It wasn't like that. I wanted… I needed to cut all the ties from the past and make a new life for myself, concentrate… concentrate on my career.'
'Are you telling me you ran out on this other guy too?' Hudson asked flatly. 'That you dumped both of us?'
'I'm telling you I went to London by myself,' she said firmly. 'I wanted to make my own way, without any emotional commitments—'
'Without me, you mean.' He stared at her, the grey eyes that were so piercingly intuitive tight on her pale face. 'Now, why do I believe the first part and not the second?' he said thoughtfully, almost to himself. 'Why did you leave him behind, Annie? Wouldn't he play ball and follow you like an obedient little dog, or (fid he dump you when he found out about me? Is that why you cut off all contact with your family? Did they spill the beans about your sordid little fling in France and it made you angry with them?'
'If you want to believe that, believe it' She could feel herself struggling in the sticky spider's web her lies had woven—she wasn't used to lying, and this was proving she wasn't any good at it either. She couldn't think quickly enough.
'So you didn't marry him, you didn't play house, and there's no one else on the scene at the moment? And, if I read you right, you're saying you deliberately keep it that way? Yes?'
'Yes.' She licked dry lips and his eyes followed the action.
'Why?' he asked grimly, his gaze still on her mouth.
'Why?' she repeated vacantly, her mind spinning.
'You are a beautiful young woman of twenty-five living by yourself in a city full of young men. You are intelligent, witty, and you have proved you can get a good job and keep it. Why are you content to act like an old-age pensioner with a houseful of animals to replace any social life? You haven't got a houseful of cats and dogs, have you?' he asked suddenly.
'No, I haven't.' She felt a spurt of angry adrenalin flood her system at the sad picture he was painting of her.
'Then I come back to my original question—why?' he repeated with silky persistence. 'You enjoyed our lovemaking as far as it went; I know that, Annie. And you were there with me today every inch of the way until you got cold feet. If it's like you said, if you got rid of this other guy too, what stops you making any sort of emotional commitment to a man? Have you been hurt? Abused, perhaps? Is that it? Did he abuse you sexually? Or someone else in your past? A friend of your mother's, perhaps?' he asked softly.
'No!' She was mortified at the way his mind was going.
'Don't look so embarrassed,' he said mildly. 'I deal with such things every day in my work—'
'I told you, I haven't… I haven't slept with anyone,' she interrupted wildly, her face fiery.
