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'But I wouldn't have said that if… if I'd known.' She shook her head, the vibration of his heart against her back telling her he was not as calm and controlled as he appeared. 'But I didn't.'
'Known what?' he asked expressionlessly. 'What didn't you know?'
'When I got back that night, after you'd asked me, Michael was waiting to talk to me,' she said in a low, tight voice. 'He… he told me things—things that meant—' She took a deep breath. 'He told me he was involved with people, criminals, and that if I married you they would force you to work for them, or ruin you if you said no. They'd… they'd use your relationship with me to involve you, discredit you. He was talking about the big case you took on to start with, but there would have been other things, I know it; they wouldn't have stopped at blackmailing you over just that. He… he was so pleased I'd met you; he said it was a gift from the lap of the gods.'
She could still see Michael's face as he'd said it, the evil satisfaction in his narrowed eyes.
'My mother didn't know—please believe that; she was totally innocent But… but I knew I had to leave her, and… and that I had to break all links with you, with Michael too,' she said stumblingly. 'I… I wrote the letters, one to you and one to my mother, and one to him too, and then I left France. There was never any other man, not ever. Not before I met you and not after.'
She paused a moment 'I didn't know about the car crash until months later, but Michael dying wouldn't have made any difference
really. The men he worked for still exist; they know my name and they certainly know yours. You can't… you can't afford to have any link with someone like me. It would ruin you.'
Hudson still hadn't moved or spoken, and now, as she ran out of words, she waited a few moments before twisting in his arms to look at him. 'Hudson? Do you understand what I've said?'
And then she saw his face.
It was alight with relief—fierce, vibrant, joyous relief. 'And that's it?' His voice was husky, shaken. 'That's all it is? He didn't attack you, hurt you physically? That's all it is?'
'All?' She stared at him aghast, thinking he hadn't taken in what she had said. 'Hudson, they could ruin you; didn't you hear me? You have to be whiter than white, and I'm not.'
'I heard you.' He stared at her for a moment before shouting out, I heard you, I heard you. Thank you, God. Thank you.'
'Hudson.' He'd wake the whole hotel. 'Don't you realise what it could mean to your career, your name—?'
Her words were cut off as his mouth came down on hers, and he kissed her like he'd never done before—not even in the midst of the wonderment of their wedding night—until her senses were reeling and her breath gone.
'Do you know the horrors I've imagined?' he said hoarsely. 'The things that have kept me awake night after night since we met again? A hereditary disease, child abuse, rape, even AIDS—and a hundred and one variations on any of those themes. Some of the things I deal with in my work are past belief, and suddenly they could have all applied to you. It's sent me crazy… '
'But this is terrible, isn't it?' She felt as though she was in a strange kind of vacuum, where black was white and white was blade and nothing made sense. 'Those people know my name, Hudson. They know Marianne McBride. Michael was involved up to the hilt with them, and if you marry me and the mud starts flying—'
'I have married you.' He bent his head and kissed her gently on the mouth. 'Boy, have I married you.'
His voice was sensual and thick, and as she caught a reflection of the night before in his eyes she blushed hotly, before saying, 'But as Marianne Harding, and if I get out of your life before they put all the facts together—?
To hell with the facts.' He took her face in his hands, his eyes blazing down into hers with an intensity that took her breath clean away. 'Don't you know how much I love you?' he asked softly. 'How much you matter to me? I nearly went mad when you walked out on me two years ago, and in Morocco, when you left… ' He shook his head slowly. 'I never want to feel like that again. It was like the end of the world, and the worst thing was I couldn't make any difference to what was happening.' His voice spoke of the intense frustration and blinding pain he'd suffered.
'I love you, Annie, and everything else, everything else, comes second to that. You're the only woman in the world for me, my woman. I want you as my wife, my best friend, my companion, the mother of my children. Hell!' He stared at her for a second, a spark of anger in his eyes. 'How could you weigh all that in the balance and think I would put my career—' the word carried a wealth of scorn '—first, for crying out loud? What made you think you could make that sort of decision for me anyway? Did you have so little faith in my love? Think I was so shallow?'
'No, no, it wasn't that' How could she make him see? 'But if you fight them, if it comes to that, and you lose—your name, your position, everything—how will you feel then?' she asked painfully. 'They could ruin you, Hudson; you have to face that. And… and then you might begin to resent me. Oh—' she stopped him as he went to speak '—I know you wouldn't want to, wouldn't try to, but you might, and… and I don't think I could bear that. But it would be natural—'
'Annie, I don't know what sort of men you've been used to being around, but believe me, no one I have any time for would think that was natural. You're as innocent in all this as I am, and as your mother was,' he added softly. 'I've seen plenty of low-lifes like Michael in my time; they're like ugly growths, and they can attach themselves to good folk as well as the other kind. They use people in any way they can and at any time, and are without mercy or conscience. I've fought them all my adult life and I know their tricks.'
'That's what I mean,' she whispered desperately, tears threatening again. 'They've good reason to try to get back at you. They'd always be there, just outside the perimeter of our life, waiting—'
'The hell they would,' he countered grimly. 'Do you seriously think I would allow you to live like that? They've taken two years of our lives; they aren't having a day more. Trust me, Annie.'
She wanted to believe him, wanted to trust in his absolute assurance of his ability to take on Michael's cohorts and win, but by his own admission these men would use anything and anyone to win. 'Hudson, they're dangerous. You can't expect to keep a secret like me from them, not when they don't adhere to any rules of play—' she began urgently, only to stop as his finger reached out to stroke the words away, his touch unbelievably gentle.
'I shan't be playing,' he said intently. 'And you are not, and won't be, a secret. I'm more proud of you than anything else in my life and I have no intention of not broadcasting that to the world. We aren't going to hide away, Annie, not for scum like Michael. They've touched your life through no fault of your own but they won't ever do so again; I'll make sure of that.'
She stared at the glittering hardness of his narrowed eyes as he spoke, a chill slithering down her backbone. 'You wouldn't… You wouldn't do anything silly, would you?' she asked fearfully. 'I know you know a lot of people on both sides of the law—'
'I'll keep within the law if that's what's worrying you.' He grinned suddenly and her Hudson was back, although the brief glimpse of the side he showed in the courtroom, to men like Michael, had been terrifying. 'And now you don't have to think any more about it You're my wife—I'm your husband—let me do the worrying, okay? From now on we face this and everything else together.'
His wife. Marianne's throat was dry. His wife.
'Okay?' he pressured softly. 'We're one now, agreed?'
