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She wanted to sag against the car door as his words hit home. It was only in this moment of blinding truth that she realised she’d lived for those times with a strange, intense excitement that had no rhyme or reason. ‘You did that on purpose?’ she whispered helplessly.
His smile this time was merely a twitch. ‘I scared the hell out of you six months ago and I didn’t want that to happen again. You didn’t trust me, maybe you still don’t trust me, but we’ve moved forwards quite a way since then. Not enough—’ this time his smile was self-deprecating ‘—not when I want to know you inside out; how you think and feel about everything, especially me. And I’m not talking about your sexual desire here. I know you have the taste of me and want more from the way you respond when I so much as touch you. But that apart, how do you see me? I asked you that once before and you didn’t answer me. Why was that, I wonder?’
She shook her head, unable to reply.
‘Don’t shut me out, Toni. I want you and you want me and what we have is too powerful to fight.’
Her head jerked slightly as she drew in a steadying breath. He was talking about sex. In everything he’d said he’d only mentioned wanting her, nothing more. No talk of commitment or for ever or … love. And why would he? She knew that wasn’t on Steel’s agenda.
‘I don’t intend to rush you, in spite of how I’ve behaved today,’ he said very calmly as she continued to remain silent. ‘But however slow we take it, you and I are going to progress. That is set in concrete.’
‘Steel, it takes two to agree something like that,’ she said a little more strongly. He was taking a lot on himself!
‘Four, in this case. I’m aware of that too.’
Four? And then she realised he was talking about Amelia and Daisy. To her mortification she became aware that in the last heady, intoxicating few minutes her precious girls hadn’t featured in her thoughts. It had been all about her and Steel. Frankly horrified at herself, she lifted her eyes to his. ‘I told you once before
I have no intention of introducing the twins to a series of “uncles".’
‘And I told you then I was pleased to hear it. I still am. I don’t intend for there to be a line, Toni. Amelia and Daisy know you work for me and they are bright little girls. They’ll accept me in their life as a friend of yours.’
‘A friend?’ It would be funny if it weren’t so serious.
‘Exactly.’ He smiled. ‘Until you are ready for something more. I want you but I don’t want to hurt you or cause you to feel threatened or have regrets because you feel I’ve seduced you into my bed. And I could do that so easily. We both know that.’
The male arrogance was too much. She glared at him. ‘Really?’ she said with scathing sarcasm. ‘You’re irresistible, is that it?’
Steel moved half into her seat, lowering his head and taking her mouth. He savoured the shape of her lips, the sweet taste of her, and after a token struggle he felt her mouth open beneath his probing. Within moments she was there with him every inch of the way as he deepened the kiss with the intent of showing her exactly what he wanted to be doing to her at that moment. He finished the embrace with a row of nibbling kisses along her jawline, stopping at the corner of her lips, and by then her breathing was raspy and her cheeks flushed with passion. OK, so he’d proved his point.
A wry smile curved his lips as he moved back fully into his seat, but the glitter in his silver eyes was a great deal more elemental. ‘And that’s without really trying. When I have you naked and willing in my arms it will be long and slow and lasting and we’ll go to heaven and back. I can promise you that, my passionate little puritan.’
Toni stared at him helplessly. Logic told her it would be the biggest mistake of her life to let this carry on. She was already emotionally involved with this man and she still didn’t know how it had happened, but if they became lovers she would never recover from the fallout when it finished. Lovers … It was the culmination of all her secret fantasies over the last months, all the long hours when she’d tossed and turned in her chaste little bed in an agony of need.
And then he took the decision out of her hands. ‘I’m not going to take no for an answer, Toni,’ he warned very softly. ‘From employer and employee, we’ve now moved to friends, OK? And the next step’s timing will be up to you.’
She stared at him, her eyes still dark with desire. ‘Friends don’t kiss, not like we have. Is this friendship going to be on more … platonic grounds?’
‘Not a hope in hell, sweetheart.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
IT HAD GONE FAR BETTER than he’d expected. Steel glanced at Toni as they drove back to the city later that night. They had gone for a drive after their heart-to-heart in the car park, exploring the surrounding area for some thirty miles or so around the house before stopping for dinner at an imposing country hotel. Toni had telephoned her parents before they had left the pub after lunch and arranged for her mother to pick the twins up, and, although she hadn’t exactly relaxed during the afternoon, she hadn’t been distant or withdrawn. During dinner he’d set out to make her laugh and he’d succeeded. Yes, all in all it could have been a lot worse.
He glanced at her again as the car was forced to stop at traffic lights. She was sleeping, her hair forming a soft and silky veil and hiding her face from him. Even in her sleep she managed to elude him, he thought wryly. But no more. He refused to stay on the perimeter of her life for one more day, one more hour, one more minute. He had been patient, more patient than he would ever have dreamt he could be over this woman, and more honest in his opening up to her too. Was she aware of that? Aware he’d let her see more of him than anyone else had done?
Admittedly he hadn’t intended that to begin with. His firm mouth twisted. The evening chats he’d manoeuvred as a means of finding out more about her with a view to getting her into bed had backfired a little. She’d got under his skin, beguiled him, tempted him to reveal things he’d never thought he’d talk about to anyone. Not because she’d been pushy, hell no, just the opposite. It was the gentle, unassuming way she had that had knocked him for six. That and the air of unsophisticated innocence that clothed her like a second skin. He’d had to remind himself more than once that she had been married, that she had two children and was far from being a chaste virgin.
But when he kissed her … His body stirred, becoming as hard as a rock. She was a different woman. And he wanted her—sinner and saint, he wanted all of her.
It was the damnedest thing, he reflected as he drove home through the white, frosty world outside the cosy warmth of the car, that he—a man who placed great value on being in control—had never felt more out of control in his life. And yet it didn’t make any difference. She was like a drug and infinitely more addictive than the strongest narcotic or opiate.
When he drew up outside her house it was past eleven o’clock and only the hall light was glowing. He kissed her awake, smiling slightly as he felt her respond even before she was fully conscious.
She was flushed and dishevelled and as sexy as every schoolboy fantasy by the time he exited the car and walked round to the passenger door, and once she was standing on the pavement he kissed her again, lightly, before looking down at her face in the shadows. He brought his hand up and traced her lips with a finger. ‘Are you going to tell your parents about us?’
She blinked. ‘That we’re friends?’
He grinned. ‘Your mother likes me,’ he said with an air of considerable satisfaction.
