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‘Perhaps.’ She shrugged. ‘But if life is precious and happy enough, risking it in such a pointless way is not an option.’
His face didn’t alter apart from his mouth tightening a little, but she knew he hadn’t liked it. ‘There are millions of people who would disagree with such a damning indictment.’
‘That’s their privilege,’ she said shortly. ‘It still doesn’t alter what I think.’
‘Are you seriously telling me that my participation in a sport in which I’ve been involved for many years is due to some kind of death wish?’
‘I didn’t say that.’ She cast a sidelong glance at his grim profile. Wow,
she’d really hit a nerve here. ‘But I do think if you were utterly fulfilled in normal life you wouldn’t need to take such unnecessary risks.’
‘Spare me the amateur psychology.’
‘Excuse me, but it was you who started this,’ she said hotly.
Silence reigned for a few minutes as the car zoomed through the night at a speed Kay was sure was illegal.
‘Why do you do that?’ he asked suddenly, his voice rough.
‘What?’ She didn’t have a clue what he was talking about.
‘Argue, disagree, make waves,’ he said irritably. ‘No other woman I know is so damn opinionated.’
She bit down on the sharp answer that had sprung to mind and schooled her voice into order before she said evenly, ‘If you want a dinner companion who will tell you exactly what you want to hear and agree with everything you say, as well as indicating she thinks you are a demigod who can do no wrong, you picked the wrong woman. I do have opinions and ideas of my own because I use the mind God gave me, and if you expect me to apologise for that or tread carefully in fear I might offend some precept of yours—tough. I’ve been in a state of mind where life lost its lustre and I know I could have taken chances then. Now is different. Life is precious now.’
‘You’re lucky,’ he said drily.
‘Perhaps. But luck is the flip side to misfortune and if you spin the coin fast enough both sides look the same. There were people who thought it was a calamity when I was left pregnant after Perry left—the final nail in the coffin—but it was the one thing in my life which proved a blessing and gave me strength to fight for the future.’
‘Perry was your husband?’ he asked softly, his swift glance taking in her intense expression.
‘Yes.’ She suddenly realised what she’d said and how much she had revealed, and to Mitchell Grey of all people.
‘Don’t freeze up on me again, Kay.’
Her eyes shot to the hard profile as his eyes turned to the windscreen again. ‘I…I’m not,’ she said shakily, dismayed at the ease with which he’d sensed her thoughts.
‘So why did he leave?’ he asked quietly.
He was aware she’d stiffened in the seat, but her voice came steadily when she said, ‘I threw him out, actually. Her name was Tracy. But the marriage had been in trouble long before that. She…she was just the grand finale.’
‘Do you still see much of him? What about the twins?’
‘He’s never seen them or been in contact since before the divorce.’ When he made a sound deep in his throat she said fiercely, ‘I like it that way, believe me. Look, can we change the subject?’
‘Classical, rock or jazz?’
‘What?’
‘What type of music do you want on?’ he asked patiently, making sure his voice revealed none of the anger that had gripped him towards this unknown husband who had let her down so monumentally.
There was a moment’s pause, and her voice was a little shaky when she said, ‘Jazz, please.’
Once the music was playing Mitchell concentrated on his driving and Kay sat quietly, her head whirling. She had been mad to tell him so much, she told herself bitterly. She should have kept the conversation light and easy, not spilled out everything barring her bra size! What must he be thinking? She stole a look sideways under her eyelashes but the granite profile was giving nothing away. Her throat felt locked and she couldn’t think of a thing to say anyway, but the atmosphere inside the car was bordering on painful.
It was another ten minutes before he spoke, and then it was to say, ‘We’re nearly there, okay?’
She cleared her throat. ‘Where’s there?’
