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Kay nodded. ‘Fine.’ Fine? What a stupid thing to say when she was so nervous she knew she would never be able to eat again in the whole of her life.
He drove out of the town and into the country and he didn’t say a word as the powerful car ate up the miles. They had been travelling for about twenty minutes when he pulled off the road and into a gateway that overlooked a valley still white with snow. It was beautiful, tranquil and sweepingly majestic, the trees stark and bare against the pale world surrounding them. A few lone birds were flying overhead but otherwise everything was still, a frozen world captured in time.
She sat staring straight ahead for a moment as the engine died, and then she forced herself to turn her head and look at him, knowing he was staring intently at her.
She saw a muscle clench in his jaw as he looked into her eyes. ‘We both said a lot of things when we first met.’ He said quietly. ‘Do you remember?’
Did she remember? They had haunted her ever since. ‘What sort of things?’ she murmured warily, still terribly unsure of where he was coming from.
He gave a short, mirthless laugh. ‘Stupid things.’ He raked back his hair, the action impatient but at the same time carrying a hint of nervousness. ‘And yet not so stupid because I thought that was how I felt at the time, that I would never—’ He stopped abruptly. ‘What I mean is, until then—’
He paused again and Kay stared at him in disbelief. Mitchell, controlled, concise Mitchell, ruthless and focused and as to the point as a sharp blade, struggling for words? Somehow it was more illuminating than anything that had happened that morning.
‘What are you trying to say?’ she whispered weakly, knowing it had to come from him. If what she was daring to hope was true, it had to start now, properly, for it to have any chance at all.
‘I love you, Kay,’ he said grimly.
She looked at him, a tiny part of her mind that seemed to be working separately from the rest of her pointing out that even in declaring himself Mitchell had to be different from other men. He had spoken more as though he were pronouncing a death sentence on her, rather than giving her the one thing in all the world she really wanted.
‘I know you don’t feel the same, not yet, and I can understand that,’ he said quickly as she remained stock-still just staring at him, her mind racing as she still didn’t dare let the hope run free. ‘But one of the things we said when we first met was that if either party wanted the situation to change, one way or the other, they had to say. Well, I’m saying, Kay. I’ve had a bellyful of going softly, softly, and this last episode with those ba—’ he stopped short, taking a deep breath before he continued ‘—with those men this morning was the final straw. I need you to know how I feel. I need to be able to have the right to strangle scum like those two because they dared to come anywhere near the woman of my heart,’ he finished angrily.
Kay stared at his dark, furious face and thought she had never loved him so much as in this moment.
‘Kay, I want a future for us,’ he continued with barely a pause, his chest rising and falling with the force of his emotion. ‘I want—oh, I want the lot, I guess. But I won’t rush you, I’ll keep to that—’ And then, as though to disprove the last words, he said, ‘Say something, damn it.’
Oh, Mitchell. She swallowed, fighting back the tears as she said, ‘You…you’re sure? I mean, really sure? There’s the girls…’
‘More sure than I’ve ever been of anything in the whole of my life.’ He was looking at her intently now, his face changing as he took in her trembling mouth. ‘I want you in my life for ever, I want a ring on your finger to keep the other wolves off and to let them know that you are mine. Is that chauvinistic?’
‘Probably.’ Tears had spilled out of her eyes now but she smiled tremulously.
He reached out a wondering hand and touched a glittering tear as it hung on an eyelash. ‘Does this mean you care a little?’ he asked shakily.
He looked big and dark and handsome as he sat looking at her uncertainly, his jet-black hair in stark contrast to the piercing silvery-blue eyes, and she wondered what she had ever done to deserve the love of this man. Because it was there, shining in his eyes. He was letting her see it and it filled her heart with such joy she could hardly breathe.
‘I’ve loved you for the whole of my life,’ she whispered, ‘long before I knew you. When I first saw you, something happened inside and it scared me to death. I tried to tell myself it was all sorts of things but it grew and grew and finally I had to admit it was love. A forever love. But you didn’t want me like that…’
‘Oh, my love, my love.’ His voice was thick as he took her into his arms, pulling her against the wall of his chest as he nuzzled into her hair.
‘I tried not to fall in love with you, so hard, but it happened right from the first,’ she said, her voice muffled against his overcoat. ‘But you had had so many women, beautiful women.’
‘I never loved one of them.’ His voice was soft above her head. ‘I liked some more than others but they never stirred my heart. If I’m honest, until I met you I didn’t want to acknowledge there could be anything beyond sexual attraction between a man and a woman and I didn’t have to. Then you came along, and…’
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He hesitated, and she said, ‘Yes? Tell me,’ as she raised her head, kissing the corner of his hard mouth, still unable to believe she could do that freely now.
‘I had always told myself that my father didn’t love my mother towards the end, that she had burnt his love out,’ he said huskily, the words being forced up from some dark place within him. ‘It was the only way I could come to terms with an essentially good man like he was loving a woman like her. I told myself he stayed with her because he believed in family, that misguidedly he thought having a father and mother was more important than splitting us up. But deep down I knew it wasn’t true, and that’s what I’ve been fighting ever since the accident. He still loved her, Kay. He sacrificed my sister—he would have sacrificed anyone—to be with her, to hang onto her. I never wanted any woman to have that sort of power over me. It filled me with abhorrence, with disgust, but mostly blind fear.’
He looked down at her, his mouth twisting. ‘Great, eh? I’m a mess, I admit it.’
‘I’ll sort you out.’ She smiled up at him, her arms going tight round his neck. ‘I promise.’
‘I believe you can.’ His voice held a note of wonder.
‘We can do anything, the two of us,’ she said, happy tears still squeezing themselves out of her eyes. ‘We can take on the whole world and win.’
‘I only want you,’ he said huskily. ‘When you told me how badly you’d been let down, how you’d fought back, taking on the responsibility of your mother and the business, even sorting your brother’s life out, I couldn’t believe that a tiny, slim little scrap like you could have that sort of fire and will-power in her. Boy, did I learn fast,’ he added wryly. ‘And more surprises were in store. I met your daughters. Daughters. And you not looking old enough to be out of pigtails at times.’
