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‘We were talking about men, not money,’ she said slowly, and he shook his head thoughtfully, his eyes glittering in the last rays of the dying sun.
‘I have the feeling it’s the same thing with you and that the two together add up to something...harmful?’ She didn’t answer the query in his voice and he stared at her for a full minute before turning away with a little gesture of disappointment. ‘Still determined not to let me in, Fabia?’ he asked grimly as he glanced at the darkening sky. ‘The light’s gone. We’d better get home.’
It was a cold, distant stranger who drove home, and as she glanced at his face once or twice under her lashes all the old doubts and suspicions came bubbling to the surface. He was still manipulating her, she thought wretchedly. He had admitted to it at the beginning of their relationship and nothing had changed, not really. He was rich and powerful and used to getting his own way, and unfortunately their circumstances, the season, the beauty all around them, everything was working to his advantage.
But she couldn’t let her guard down. She had done it once all those years ago and nearly been destroyed in the process. She couldn’t risk that again.
Mary served high tea in front of a huge roaring fire in the drawing-room later that evening and in spite of the mouth-watering sandwiches and light fluffy cakes Fabia found her appetite had deserted her completely. She had to stop this pointless longing for something that was as distant as the moon, it was tearing her apart, but the sight of him stretched out in the chair on the other side of the fire, his long legs toasting comfortably and his plate piled high with food, invoked a positively painful ache in her throat that made her eyes burn and her hands clench.
Mary came to collect the tea-trolley, cluck-clucking at the amount of food still left. ‘Don’t blame me, Mary,’ Alex said teasingly, glancing at Fabia meaningfully.
‘Aren’t you hungry, Miss Fabia?’ Mary asked quickly. ‘You do look a bit peaky.’
‘I’m fine, Mary, really.’ Fabia smiled brightly. ‘I made rather a pig of myself at lunchtime, I’m afraid.’
‘Oh, as long as you’re all right, then.’ Mary bustled off as Alex lifted wry eyebrows.
‘Another of your admi
rers, I’ll be bound.’ He joined her on the small two-seater sofa as he spoke, placing a casual arm round her shoulders as he sat down. ‘Still, I suppose it’s no surprise that she likes you; they all do.’ She had stiffened at his approach and now turned to him, her face cold.
‘There have been people who didn’t,’ she said coolly as she moved a fraction of an inch away from him, ‘and please take your arm away, Alex. We’re alone now, there’s no need to act.’
‘Is that what I’m doing?’ A certain inflexion in his voice had changed now, its tone deeper and with a trace of iron in its depths. ‘I can’t put a friendly arm around you now?’
‘No.’ And you’re not going to put me in the wrong again, she thought silently as she stared coldly into the handsome face inches away from her own.
‘Why so hostile, Fabia?’ His body hadn’t moved an inch but in some subtle way it seemed more menacing now than affectionate. ‘I’m getting a little tired of the constant assumption that I’m only capable of having one thing on my mind.’
‘I’m not assuming anything,’ she said quickly, ‘but as far as I’m concerned you made the suggestion that you employ me for a specific task and nothing else. Not a foot or a toe out of place, I think you said? Well, that works both ways.’
‘Does it, indeed?’ He turned in the seat to stare straight into her face, his eyes slanted dangerously. ‘What a bossy little female you are, my pet.’ As he leaned towards her he moved his arms and body in such a way that she found herself pinned against the sofa so that she couldn’t move, his hard rigid body trapping her as his face moved down towards hers.
She had expected a hard fierce kiss to follow through on the act of dominance, but instead she found his lips brushing down on hers, tracing the outline of her face with light feathery kisses in between parting her lips tantalisingly and circling her ears with his hot clean breath. It was impossible to stop the flood of desire that began to rise as he continued the sensual teasing game. She could feel every inch of his steel-hard frame against her melting softness and tried desperately to hide the quivering response the practised seduction was bringing forth, hating herself for her weakness at the same time as she wanted to moan her pleasure against his hard face.
The probing tongue reached deeper now with each return to her mouth, tasting the sweetness within greedily before leaving to burn a fiery trail over her upturned face and throat, his hands moving over her body with sure knowledge of how to please as he brought forth little whimpers of exquisite pain. She had never felt like this in her life, as though a blazing inferno was eating her up, but even as the storm of passion carried her along she knew it was a calculated exercise on his part, and despair at her vulnerability gnawed at her pride.
‘There, now.’ As he raised his head she lay for a moment stunned in his arms before opening dazed blue eyes as he rose slowly to his feet. ‘Before you give out your orders to me again just think long and hard, would you, about who wants what?’ The honey-brown eyes raked her flushed face mockingly as he walked towards the door. ‘I’m not some sort of animal waiting to leap on you and have my wicked way, angel-face. If I had wanted you it wouldn’t have been rape, would it?’ He turned at the door and surveyed her once again as she sat up hastily, smoothing her hair with shaking, numb fingers. ‘I happen to feel it would be necessary for you to want me as much as I want you before anything would happen, and I don’t mean just in the physical sense.’ The eyes were razor-sharp now. ‘When you come to me it will be because you want to, heart, mind and body.’
‘Never.’ The whisper was faint, but he heard it, and the handsome face hardened.
‘Never is a long time, little girl.’
As the door closed behind him Fabia sat in front of the hot, leaping flames, feeling icy cold right through, her thoughts spinning in a whirling circle of confusion. She had known he could be ruthless but the cold-blooded determination he had displayed in setting out to prove to her that she was defenceless against him had unnerved her more than she had thought possible.
‘I don’t understand you, Alexander Cade,’ she murmured into the empty room after long, slow minutes had ticked by in the stillness broken only by the crackle of the burning coal. She wanted to think he had been trying to humiliate her, crush her; that would fall into line with what she thought of him, and yet...
Her mind ground to a halt. He could have had her tonight, they both knew that, and he hadn’t. It hadn’t been because he didn’t want to either; the hard firm body pressed so close to hers had revealed his thrusting desire too clearly for that. Did she believe him when he said that he wanted her to want him in the way he had described, and, if so, why? Why not be content with her body and leave it at that? She brushed her hand across her eyes and saw it was wet with tears, and yet she hadn’t been aware she was weeping. She didn’t understand him!
Much later, as she lay in the warm softness of her bed, her eyes seeking the darkness for an answer to her despair, bitter memories of Robin’s cruelty crept unbidden into the confusion. She had trusted him implicitly, and was he really any different from Alex in what he wanted? Alex had already said that the main reason for her being here was because he wanted no entanglements, no romantic involvement to complicate his busy life once the Christmas season was over. Why was she even considering trusting him? Once she had served her purpose he would return to Susan and her kind without a backward glance.
Susan... She pictured the brunette’s long, glossy dark hair and deep green eyes with their thick black lashes and shivered despite the warmth of the covers. And there were the children too. Alex clearly adored them and Susan knew it.
She turned over in the bed, bringing the pillow down on her head as though it could shut out the thoughts that were tormenting her. It was hopeless, absolutely hopeless.
* * *
She rose early the next morning before the rest of the household was awake, taking a long leisurely shower before washing her hair and drying it slowly, brushing its sleek richness into shining golden waves. Somehow she needed to look her best the next time she saw him. She applied light, careful make-up before donning tight, figure-hugging trousers in a soft cream wool and a big baggy fluffy jumper of the same shade. It was a casual outfit but one she knew complemented her colouring perfectly, and she needed all the help she could get today. Later, at the party... She forced her mind away from Susan with dogged determination.
