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All she could hope for was that there would be an opportunity, just a slight mellowing of that icy calm, for her to tell him the truth and bare her soul. But somehow, looking at his face and remembering all he had told her of his past life, she feared he wouldn't let her in even for a moment.
She had tried to talk to him once more before they had left the villa, but at her first words he had cut her off with such bitter ferocity that she hadn't dared try again. He was a fiercely proud man—that much she had known—but now she realised that in acting as she had she had ground that pride into the dust and he was finished with her. It was in his every action, every gesture, every icy glare.
Joseph was at the house when they arrived late that night and the sight of his face, strained and white, reached through Katie's grief and made her want to take that much younger Reef into her arms and soothe his distress like a mother with an unhappy child.
'What happened?' It was clear that Carlton had no such feeling as he put their suitcases down in the hall and spoke directly to his brother who had just wheeled his chair from the sitting-room. 'And I want it all, mind, straight down the line.'
'I didn't expect you to come back.' Joseph glanced from one to the other, his eyes red-rimmed and exhausted. 'Carl-ton, this is all my fault; you can't say anything to me I haven't already said to myself,' he groaned desperately.
'I wouldn't bank on it,' Carlton said grimly, but his face had softened somewhat at the younger man's obvious desolation. 'I thought you were going to go for it at long last— forget all these damn stupid ideas about being half a man and unable to give her children and so on? You know she's loved you since the moment she put a foot in the house, dammit. What more of a guarantee could you want for a marriage? You've held her at arm's length, made her as miserable as hell ever since I can remember and still she hasn't looked at another man. If that isn't love I don't know what is.'
'I know, I know.' Joe raked his hair desperately, his eyes bleak.
Katie stared at their faces in stupefaction. Maisie and Joe? Maisie and Joel They had loved each other for years but Joe had refused to admit it to her, she thought helplessly as all the little incidents from the past slotted neatly into place. It was clear that Carlton thought they would be the ideal match and all his gentle concern for Maisie, his encouragement to the painfully shy beauty and, she saw now, fatherly affection had been to compensate for Joe's discouragement and rejection. What a mess. She gazed at the two men flatly. What a terrible, hopeless mess.
'Don't say 'I know',' Carlton bit out angrily. 'We had this conversation a couple of days before the wedding and you assured me that once you and Maisie were here alone you would set things straight with her and put both of you out of your misery. Hell, I hinted as much to her at the reception just before we left, when she looked so damn miserable. Don't you realise what that day must have been like for her, feeling the way she does about you?'
'I told her we needed a year apart,' Joe admitted bleakly, his broad shoulders pathetically slumped. 'I was going to propose to her, Carlton. I even organised a meal with wine, roses, the lot, but then I looked at her across the table and she was so damn beautiful. I couldn't face tying her to a cripple for the rest of her life.'
'So in effect you sent her away?' Carlton asked caustically.
'She asked me why the year apart and I told her she ought to meet someone else,' Joe said flatly. 'Someone who could love her like a real man.'
Carlton ground out an oath as he shook his head in disbelief. 'Dammit, man, you can love her like a real man,' he said more softly now. 'The accident only interfered with your procreative ability; everything else down there is in prime working order.'
They seemed to have completely forgotten about Katie, for which she was supremely thankful as the more intimate aspects were discussed.
'You can adopt, can't you? Private adoption, anything. We aren't exactly short of a penny or two in case it's slipped your mind, Joe. Maisie has faced and accepted that she won't have children of her own, you know that. All she wants is you.'
'What am I going to do?' Joseph stared up at his brother helplessly, 'The last twenty-four hours have made me realise I can't live without her, Carlton. What the hell am I going to do?'
'Pray that I find her,' Carlton said grimly. 'Did she take all her things?'
'Everything personal.' Joseph's voice broke and Carlton bent to hug him swiftly, his own face working for a second before he stood up, his eyes thoughtful.
'There's one place she might be—that friend of hers from the children's home that she's kept in touch with through the years,' he said quickly. 'Have you spoken to her?'
'I tried her number,' Joseph said bleakly. 'She said she hadn't seen her.'
'She's a friend, Joe; she would,' Carlton answered drily. 'I'll go round there myself. If she isn't there it'll be down to private detectives—the police won't want to know—but we'll find her, however long it takes.' He patted his brother's shoulder. 'And when we do just keep your mouth shut and take her in your arms, boy, OK? She had one hell of a life in that children's home from when she was a baby; the only thing she wants from you is love.'
His compassion, his understanding rent Katie's heart into ribbons as she stood in the shadows to one side of the hall, watching them. And he had loved her. The only trouble was that she had the sick feeling that the past tense was right. Had.
She sat and listened to Joseph talk through the next few hours in between making them endless cups of coffee and forcing him to eat some sandwiches she prepared. She didn't mention the situation between Carlton and herself; it wouldn't have done any good, and the younger man looked on the verge of collapse as it was.
Dawn was just breaking and Joseph had fallen into a light doze by her side when she heard Carlton's car pull up outside. She rose quickly, careful not to brush against the wheelchair and wake him, and walked out into the hall just as Carlton opened the front door and stood aside to let Maisie walk in.
The lovely brunette looked shattered, drained, and without even thinking about it Katie walked across and hugged her tight, and after a moment of startled surprise Maisie hugged her back. 'He's in there,' Katie said quietly as she gestured towards the sitting-room. 'He's been asleep for a few minutes.'
'I won't wake him.' Maisie looked at her with eyes that were swollen with crying. 'I'll just stretch out on the sofa in there and then I can be around when he wakes up.' She smiled at them both before walking into the room and shutting the door softly after her.
'You found her, then,' Katie said nervously even as she thought what an inane remade it was.
'Yes.' He stood looking at her through shuttered eyes and Katie thought he had never looked more attractive, or more unapproachable. 'She was with her friend. It took me a while to persuade the girl to let me in, but once she realised I wasn't going to go she obliged. She's not too thrilled with the Reef name; I can't blame her.' He shook his head slowly. 'But she is a good friend to Maisie and good friends don't happen too often in a lifetime.'
'No…' She felt glued to the spot and then forced herself to speak quickly before she lost her nerve. 'Carlton, about us—'
'Leave it, Katie.' The armour was back in place instantly. 'I'm damn tired and I don't want any post-mortems right at this moment I'll move into one of the other bedrooms and I suggest you get a few hours' sleep yourself; you look done in.'
