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‘I haven’t even begun to get started.’ He gave the crooked grin that was so familiar to her. ‘But we’ve all day to talk.’
‘All day?’ she echoed before pulling herself together. ‘Jay, I don’t know why you came here this morning and what you’re thinking but, like I said, I’m busy this weekend.’
He had reached her and pulled her into his arms seemingly in one fluid movement, kissing her until she was breathless. ‘I’m your husband, Miriam. We haven’t seen each other before last night for months. Surely you can spare a few hours to discuss issues that will affect the rest of our lives?’
She could never think when he was touching her. Jerking herself free, she muttered, ‘What will it take to convince you it’s over?’
‘You spending some time with me like I said last night.’
She stared at him. ‘I told you I won’t come back to live at the apartment.’
‘And I told you I’m quite happy to live here with you.’
‘Which is out of the question.’
‘So we date.’ He smiled, a dangerous smile. ‘I court you all over again. Lovely old-fashioned word that, don’t you think? Court? But this time we talk, really talk, about anything and everything. No hiding, no secrets, no pretending. However unfair or ugly or unreasonable it is, I want to know what you’re thinking and you have the right to hear what I’m thinking.’
Fear, the sort of primeval, cold-terror kind, gripped Miriam. Trying to hide the emotion which was as invasive as it was illogical, she attempted sarcasm. ‘I think you know exactly what I think of you, Jay. It’s why we separated.’
He didn’t react. Coolly, he said, ‘OK, we’ll take it as read you think I’m the kind of slimeball who’d betray his wife just months after they’d married. But let me ask one thing, and remember we’re speaking truth here, however it hurts. Did you ever expect our marriage to last, deep down?’
Involuntarily her eyes dropped to her hands, which were twisted together, fingers entwined. By a conscious act of will she made herself relax her fingers one by one and, still with her head bent, she said, ‘I thought I did when we got married.’
‘And now?’
Painfully, she made herself say it. ‘Now I’m not sure.’
‘Because?’
Could she give him the honesty he demanded? After a long moment she raised her head and looked into the golden eyes. ‘Because now I’m beginning to realise that all along I knew it was too good to last. You’re handsome and wealthy and successful and I’m…’ She shrugged; she could only take this truth thing so far. ‘I’m not like the sort of woman you used to date.’
She’d surprised him, she could read it in the tough face. After a moment, he said, ‘You’re head and shoulders above the women I’ve known before; I’ve always told you that.’
Yes, he had, but believing it was something else. ‘Jay, I’m ordinary.’ When he went to speak, she held up her hand. ‘No, let me finish. I’m ordinary, I accept that and I don’t mind. You’re…’ She floundered, not knowing how she could make him see without baring her soul. ‘If I’d met
someone like—’ she searched for a nice, nine-to-five kind of man, someone they both knew ‘—Jayne’s husband, it would have been different.’
‘Guy?’ He stared at her, nonplussed. ‘Why? What’s he got that I haven’t?’
‘It’s not what Guy’s got—just the opposite. Don’t get me wrong,’ she added hastily, ‘I think he’s lovely and perfect for your sister, but when he walks into a room no one notices. Other women, I mean. He hasn’t got…oh, I don’t know. Charisma, I suppose.’ And toe-curling sex-appeal and a hundred other attributes besides, starting with jet-black hair and tawny eyes with the longest lashes she’d ever seen on anyone, and finishing in a perfectly honed, lean, muscled body that would win prizes in any competition.
Those same eyes had now narrowed into golden slits of light. ‘You’re saying I set out to make myself noticed by other women?’
‘No.’ She wasn’t. Throwing caution to the wind, she said quietly, ‘Jay, you must know you’re one of the most handsome men on the planet; you don’t need to try and get yourself noticed, women fall over themselves for you to notice them.’ Women like Belinda Poppins, for instance.
‘Let me get this straight,’ he said calmly. Too calmly. ‘You’re saying our marriage is over because of the way I look?’
Over-simplification but partly true none the less. ‘Of course not,’ she denied ineffectually. ‘Not just that. You’re handsome and rich and…’ She shrugged. And irresistible.
‘I can’t help the way I look, Miriam.’
‘No, I know that.’
‘And I’ve worked my butt off to get where I am today.’
She nodded. ‘I know that too.’ He was angry, furious. So much for speaking the truth.
She didn’t say the words out loud but she might just as well have. She watched as he read her thoughts in the uncanny way he often had and, as comprehension dawned, Jay smiled wryly. ‘OK,’ he drawled lazily as the iron self-control kicked in. ‘I think that one comes under the heading of unfair and unreasonable but you could say I asked for it and the rule still holds. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So…’ He surveyed her indolently for a moment. ‘Other than disfigure myself, lose all I’ve worked for and end up on the breadline and generally become a bum, how do you see this being reconciled?’
