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His smile was merely a twitch. ‘Impossible. I’ve agreed to keep my lecherous hands off you but that’s as far as it goes.’
She stared at him uncertainly, seeing the smoky amusement in his eyes but not knowing how to deal with it. Hiding behind disapproval, she kept the frown on her face as she slid into the beautiful car, the smell of soft leather and the faintest whiff of Jay’s aftershave as he bent to shut the door enfolding her in a sensual bubble.
She watched him as he walked round the bonnet to the driver’s side, her stomach muscles clenching at his male beauty. And he was beautiful, she thought bleakly—not that Jay would appreciate being labelled such. But his virile good looks and lean muscled body were only part of it; he had a raw animal grace, a magnetism that was something apart from his physical attractiveness and which was very powerful. The more so because he was genuinely unaware of it.
She had been foolish to agree to spend the day with him, Clara was right. She kept her gaze looking straight ahead as Jay joined her in the car. And even more foolish to fall in with seeing him until Christmas. But knowing Jay he wouldn’t have taken no for an answer so she’d had little option but to agree. Anyway, she wasn’t going to struggle with the whys and wherefores any more. She had agreed and that was that. And once the year was over the divorce could steam ahead.
She swallowed hard, trying to ignore the empty sensation that had washed over her.
‘Relax, Miriam.’ Rather than start the car Jay twisted in his seat to face her, one arm sliding along the back of her seat. ‘This isn’t supposed to be some sort of endurance test.’
The tender quality to his voice was nearly her undoing. Sternly resisting the temptation to look at him, she said flatly, ‘I had rather a lot planned for today, that’s all.’
She didn’t have to look at him to know he’d seen through the lie. The evidence was in his over-solicitous voice when he said, ‘I’m sure you’ll soon catch up with everything; you’re that sort of person, after all.’
She darted a quick glance under her eyelashes. He was smiling a slow, lazy smile and his eyes were dancing. Reluctantly her lips turned upwards at the corners.
‘That’s better.’ He deposited a swift kiss on her nose and started the car. ‘Today is a step back in tim
e, all right? We’ve just met, we don’t know a thing about each other and we’ve all the time in the world to find out.’
Warning signals went off loud and clear. ‘I don’t think—’
‘Good. Don’t think.’ He swung the car out into the road. ‘Just let your heart rule your head for once.’
For once? Miriam stared at the chiselled profile. Looking back, that was what she’d always done where Jay was concerned. And look where it had got her. ‘Jay, I think it’s only fair to tell you I won’t change my mind about things,’ she said quietly.
‘OK, you’ve told me.’ His voice was expressionless. ‘So now you can relax. Who knows, you might even enjoy yourself?’
That was exactly what she was worried about.
They lunched at a picturesque little pub on the outskirts of London, a quaint old coaching inn that was all oak beams and brasses and which had a roaring fire in the massive seventeenth-century fireplace. The steak and ale pie was wonderful, as was the apple crumble and custard which followed, and although Miriam kept telling herself all through the meal that she mustn’t let her guard down for a minute it was impossible not to with Jay being so amusing and non-threatening. She knew he’d purposely set himself out to be so but it didn’t make any difference.
After lunch they went for a walk along the riverbank in the cold, bright air, the blue sky flecked with white clouds and the last of the autumn’s leaves fluttering in the icy breeze. A ubiquitous magpie cocked his shiny head at them as they passed, and blackbirds, thrushes and sparrows argued over little insects and seeds in the undergrowth.
Jay had taken her hand early on and she had let it remain in his but, although she expected him to try and kiss her in the quiet and solitude of the wintry afternoon, he didn’t. Not even when they made their way back to the pub and Jay’s car as dusk flared across the sky in a blaze of pink and gold, turning the evening shadows into vibrant mauve and burnt orange, did he take her in his arms.
As he helped her into the car she was aware of a definite feeling of anticlimax, even testiness, which she knew was monumentally unreasonable.
‘What’s the matter now?’
Too late she realised her face had betrayed her as he joined her in the car, turning to survey her with narrowed eyes.
‘Nothing.’ She wiped her face clear of expression.
‘I thought we’d had a pleasant afternoon?’
‘We have.’
‘Damn it, Miriam.’ He sighed in exasperation. ‘I’ve trodden on eggshells all day but clearly something’s wrong and I’m not in the mood to play games.’
‘Nor am I.’ She could have kicked herself for not hiding her feelings better. Jay had always been like a radar as far as her emotions were concerned, picking up on things almost before she was aware of them herself. ‘I’ve told you, everything’s fine.’
The pub was one of those that served meals all day and evening and the car park was quite full. As a family saloon crawled up behind them and then sat waiting for their space, she said, ‘Are we going?’
‘Not until you tell me what put that look on your face.’
She hesitated, then decided to tell half the truth. The less humiliating half. ‘This afternoon’s reminded me of how it used to be, that’s all, before—’ She stopped abruptly. ‘Before we split up.’ She had been going to say before Belinda but somehow she couldn’t bear to say the other woman’s name at this moment in time. Not with the setting sun creating a river of colour in the charcoal-blue sky and the scent of his body warmth just inches away.
