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I nodded again. She’d called me after Aunt Luchie told her about the dinner and promised she’d come help me. That she wouldn’t let me face Jamison’s mother alone.
“And I am here,” she added. “And your mother isn’t going anywhere. And, Kerry, I need you to know this, because of what I need you to do for me.” She swiveled the chair I was sitting in to face her and looked into my eyes.
“He lied to me,” I said. “He lied.”
“I know,” she said, handing me the blanket from the floor to wipe my tears. “Take a deep breath,” she went on. “Just let some of it out.”
“I just don’t understand, you know? After everything we talked about, how he could just do this to me,” I said. “He’s still in contact with her. Why?”
“I know, and you know your mother loves to say ‘I told you so,’ but now just isn’t the time for all of that. Right now, we have to get you through this moment,” she said. “And I know where your head is right now and what you must be feeling, but I also know that there’s a house full of people out there. And your baby. I need you to . . .”
“I’m not going out there, Mother,” I said. “I can’t.”
“Kerry, hear me out. This is your house and the first Thanksgiving you’re having here. You have visitors and everyone is already getting ready to eat. They have all of this food everywhere. You can’t just kick them all out, so you’re just going to have to hold it together for a little while until people leave, then you and Jamison can handle what you need to handle.”
“I can’t, Mother,” I cried.
“Yes, you can, baby,” she said. “And I’ll be there with you. I’ll stay right with you. After everyone eats, we’ll announce that you have a migraine and I’ll get you upstairs and then start telling people to go.”
I wiped my tears and tried to focus on what she was saying.
“But until we do that, I just need you to get yourself together and come outside and sit down. You don’t even have to do anything. The food is ready and out and I’m going to change Tyrian’s clothes. You can sit on the sofa and not speak to anyone. I’ll tell people you’re not feeling well. Okay?”
I nodded my head again.
“Baby, I know you’re mad, but now is not the time. Not right now.” She stood up and kissed me on the forehead the way my father used to do. “I’ll get Luchie to help me get people to the table. Just get yourself together and come outside when you’re ready.”
When I finally got myself to a point where I thought I could last the forty minutes it would take to get through dinner, I made my way to
the dining room where everyone was gathered, standing around a table full of food. Jamison was standing at the head of the table with his mother, aunt and uncle, cousins and their children beside him; my mother and aunt were on the the other side, leaving a chair for me there, directly opposite Jamison.
“There you are,” Aunt Luchie said. “Thought we’d lost you.”
“Yes she has a little headache,” my mother said.
“Oh, baby, do you—” Jamison started, but when I looked at him, he stopped speaking, I guess noticing the lack of concern for anything he had to say on my face.
“Well, let’s go on and bless the food so we can eat,” his mother said as if it hadn’t been announced that I was ill. If I was going to give anyone at the table a piece of my mind, it was her. I’d always known she was conniving and shady, but she’d just taken her drama to a new level. I looked in her direction to respond, but my mother caught me just before I tore into her.
“Okay, so I’ll bless the food,” my mother said sweetly.
“Um . . . no, I think that’s the man of the house’s job,” his mother responded.
“Well, if we’re going by tradition, it should be my sister Luchie because she’s the oldest!”
“No,” Aunt Luchie said, “it should be Jamison because it’s his house.”
Both my mother and I looked at Aunt Luchie with our eyes hot.
“What?” she asked.
“Look, I’ll say the prayer. I can see everyone is very excited about this moment, so I don’t want to prolong it,” Jamison said smugly. He had no clue his little dream holiday was falling apart and about to punch the self-satisfied smile right off his face. “Let’s join hands,” he said as I balled up my fist. “Let every eye be closed.”
“Lord, thank you for the food you have so generously provided my family. You have been good to me, better than I have been to myself.” I didn’t even bother to close my eyes. I just looked at Jamison as he spoke. “You have blessed me with a beautiful wife,” he opened his eyes and looked at me. “Who I love very, very much. And a strong son who’s growing every day. I’m so glad we could all come together, Lord, on this day, as it has been a dream of mine for years—to have my family together and be as one. We’re thankful for all of these things and blessings to come. Amen.”
Everyone else said Amen and opened their eyes, chatting as they took their seat, but Jamison and I kept our eyes on one another.
“You okay?” he mouthed. I didn’t respond. I just took my seat and nodded my head to Aunt Luchie when she told me that Tyrian was upstairs in his crib.
