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“You came all the way over here to give me dog treats?”
“He really likes them.” He smiled and handed me the bag.
“Whatever,” I said, walking into the apartment with him behind me.
“So what’s really going on?” I asked. I dropped the bag on the kitchen counter and led him into the living room.
“Like I said on the phone, we need to talk,” Julian said, picking up Pookie Po.
“About what?”
“Remember when I asked you if you were seeing someone else?”
“Yes,” I replied uneasily, sitting on the couch beside him. Tasha was right. Men are either black or white. He was about to come clean about Miata. Julian was about to tell me he loved her. I was about to catch a case! I could already see the headline on the morning paper: WOMAN KILLS MAN IN APARTMENT FOR LOVE. I wondered if they’d let me keep Pookie Po in prison. I could buy her one of those striped doggy outfits.
“Well, it was because I’m seeing someone else,” Julian said. Oh, Lord, help me now. Help me not to choke this man.
“Really?” I asked, trying to keep my cool. I couldn’t remember what the next step of the Take Her Man Plan was, but I was sure it wasn’t murder. Was it? “Who?” I asked.
Julian put Pookie down.
“That’s not important,” he mumbled. He paused and looked back up at me. “I wasn’t going to tell you, but things have been happening lately. I didn’t like lying to you. That’s why I had to break things off.”
I felt tears creeping down my cheeks. It was breaking—my heart was breaking again. Though I’d already seen Julian in the restaurant with Miata, it was like watching a movie or something. Now, looking at Julian sitting next to me on the couch, I knew it was real life. It was my real-life love and it was getting sadder by the second.
“Don’t cry, baby.”
“Don’t fucking call me baby,” I hollered. “I’m not your fucking baby. Just tell me now. Why? Why Miata?”
“Miata? How do you know it’s Miata?”
“I just know, Julian. Stop playing games with me. Just tell me why you had to cheat on me with her. Why?”
“I don’t know, Troy.” Julian looked at me. “She’s just different. She doesn’t need me like you do. She’s a fighter—like my mother, you know?”
“Need you? News flash, Negro! I don’t need you for shit,” I cried. “And you don’t think I’m a fighter?” I jumped up from the couch, leaving him there alone. “You want to find out now?”
“Troy, stop it. It’s not about who’s a fighter and who’s not. I think I just got confused. That’s all.”
“Confused?”
“See, that’s just it, Troy. Before, I thought my mind was made up. I mean, Miata’s not like any woman I’ve ever known. All of the crap we live with—the ‘who’s this’ and ‘who’s that’—it just doesn’t mean anything to her. She’s not from that. She just does everything for herself. And she’s not afraid to take what she wants. That just caught me off-guard.”
“Julian, I really don’t want to hear about that bitch right now, so you can just stop.”
“Listen to me,” he said. “But after seeing you the other night, I realized that I still have feelings for you,” Julian said, wrapping his arms around my waist. He pressed his head against my stomach. “I just wanted to see if you still loved me.”
“How could you ask me some bullshit like that right now, Julian?”
Julian looked up at me. His eyes turned red and he closed them. A tear rolled down his cheek. It was the first time I’d ever seen him cry.
“Julian, stop crying.” I took a deep breath and put my hand on his head. “Julian, stop it.”
“I fucked this up. I really fucked it up. I’m sorry.”
Julian stood up in front of me, with tears still rolling down his cheeks. He kissed my lips so softly, my body felt paralyzed. I could feel the blood pulsating through my heart.
“I love you,” he said, pulling me into his arms. “I love you.”
