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Luckily enough, Brad had come through and now Austin was trying to get some feedback—at the minimum some sort of consolation over what happened.
Funny thing, he didn’t really know what had happened. Well, he did. Michaela regretted last night. He just didn’t know exactly what she regretted or what had sent her sailing over that point.
He needed to know so he could make it right. But typical Michaela, she was avoiding him.
“Do you really think I’m an asshole, Brad? Was I really that shitty when we were together?” Could he have somehow been an asshole to Michaela and sent her the other way? God, he hoped not.
Brad studied him, his dark brown eyes intent, his lips pursed. He had a pretty face on the rare occasion he enjoyed dressing in drag but he wasn’t a full-blown queen. He was fun, adventurous and a generous lover.
They were better as friends. It was…easier. Not as much dramatics, not as much emotion. And Brad was all about the dramatics and emotion when things didn’t go his way.
Now here he was confronted with emotion and potential dramatics again and he didn’t feel the need to run from it. There was no panic in facing it, like he felt with Brad, like he’d felt with other lovers. No, now he panicked at the thought of Michaela running from him, at the thought of losing her.
Forever.
Austin blinked, grappling for his glass of water. He found it, brought it to his lips and drained it in seconds, the cold liquid doing nothing to calm his heated worries. He set the glass down to find Brad still studying him, his brows lifted in surprise.
“What happened? You have an epiphany in that moment or what? You looked like you just had the shock of your life.”
“I think I’m in love with her,” Austin whispered, his voice faltering over the word love. A word he’d never said to anyone ever besides family members.
“Duh.” Brad shook his head and pointed his fork in Austin’s direction. “You’re not really an asshole. I just like to give you crap. You’re a guy who runs from the serious stuff because you’ve never been ready. We had a good thing going, and you dropped it. Dropped me.”
Austin winced. “Sorry.”
“I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago, why would I still fuck around with you if I hadn’t?” Brad laughed for a moment, then let loose a big sigh. “You’re different with Michaela, you always have been. The way you talk to her, take care of her. Even before you admitted it to me, I could tell you felt something for her. It made me jealous at first.”
“I know.” Austin smiled when Brad shot him a withering glance.
“Well, I’m not jealous of her anymore so screw you. Anyway.” Brad waved a hand, as if he dismissed his old feelings. “Now that she’s the one running, you’re the one chasing. And you never chase. First sign of intensity and you’re a goner. Now you want to stick around.”
“I do. I don’t want to lose her.” The thought of that made his throat close up and he swallowed, pushed his plate away from him in disgust.
He’d suddenly lost his appetite.
“Right. So go after her. Tell her how you feel. How you really feel. And not some, oh-baby-let’s-fuck-and-get-wi
ld stuff either. She’s worried over what happened last night so the last thing she wants to do is something like that again.”
“Since when did you become wise?”
Brad smiled and resumed attacking his plate. As if he didn’t have a care in the world. Austin envied his blasé attitude. “After dealing with you, my dear. And the endless string of sad little boys that came after you.”
They both laughed and Austin grew quiet, contemplative. Brad was right. He needed to approach Michaela delicately, not all crazy-beast-let’s-get-it-on as he had been. She was feeling vulnerable, probably even feeling a little disgusted with herself. He wanted to reassure her that everything they’d shared was just between them.
And if she enjoyed it, then she shouldn’t feel any shame. He certainly didn’t. What happened at the club last night had been unbelievable. He’d never shared anything like that with another person before. Though Jed had played a part in everything they’d done last night, he’d been so focused on Michaela he’d forgotten the other man had been an actual human being. He’d become more of a prop.
A prop for him and Michaela to suck and lick and slobber all over. Just the memory of it had Austin’s blood heating, his cock twitching. She’d been out of control, his wild little angel. Her enthusiasm, her overt sexiness had been such a turn on Austin couldn’t take his eyes off her all evening. She’d been just as intent on him.
Austin ran a hand over his hair, rubbed the back of his neck. His emotions were a rioting mass battling for space in his heart. The one single victor being love, love for Michaela, and it beat a fast tattoo in his heart, pounded steadily in his veins.
Dramatic thoughts for what he considered dramatic feelings.
He was in love with Michaela. He’d never been in love with anyone before. And he needed to tell her. Soon.
Chapter Eleven
She was such a chicken that she’d been avoiding Austin all over again, just like before, after that first time they’d kissed.
