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She wasn’t in a good mood. Evan knew it, could tell from the moment he walked into her apartment about an hour ago. For dinner he’d brought the sandwiches she loved so much from the deli close to the hospital, but she picked at her sandwich and barely made conversation. He’d brought her a cookie, too, the chocolate chip ones they made from scratch, but she didn’t even peek in the bag.
Damn it, she loved those cookies. He remembered the first one he gave her, how he’d licked a crumb from the corner of her lips after she finished eating it and it had turned into a two-hour sex fest.
Evan frowned and balled up the wrapper of his long gone sandwich, tossing it in the trashcan not far from where he sat. Looked like there would be no sex fest tonight. She could hardly look him in the eye.
“Something bothering you?” He followed her in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as she rewrapped her untouched sandwich and stuck it in the fridge.
“I’m not hungry.” She shrugged. “Thanks for bringing it by, though.”
He was tired after working a long ass shift. And it had been a hard one too. He’d hoped to collapse on the couch with her by his side and watch mindless TV. Maybe snooze for a little bit before she woke him up and told him in that sweet, sexy voice of hers that it was time for bed. And then he’d drag her back to bed, strip her naked and have his wicked way with her.
But the way she avoided him, how she barely spoke to him, well it spoke volumes all right. He’d done something wrong, but hell if he could figure it out.
A game player he wasn’t. He went to her and pulled her into his arms, holding her close. She snaked her arms around his waist but held them there loosely, her face pressed to his shirtfront. “What’s the matter?” He kissed her forehead softly. “Is something bothering you?”
“I don’t know.” Her voice was muffled against his chest. “I’m not sure about this.”
Wariness filled him. “Not sure about what.”
“About us.”
He waited for her to say something else, to explain herself but she remained quiet. When he couldn’t stand it any longer, he withdrew her from his arms so he could look at her. Sadness filled her eyes along with a heavy dose of confusion. “What do you mean, you’re not sure about us?”
She shrugged, her gaze cutting away from his. “It’s moving too fast and it scares me, Evan. I’m not sure I’m ready for this.”
“Ready for what?”
“This. Us. How serious it is. We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of weeks and it’s just so…so scary. Yet I don’t like to think about what life would be like without you. I’ve always been such an independent person, and I almost feel like I need you too much.”
“Right, so it’s scary to think about life without me yet you don’t want to be with me anymore? You’re not making any sense.” He felt like he was going to be sick. Was this her twisted way of trying to dump him?
“None of this makes any sense.” She started to walk away from him, but he stopped her, grabbing her upper arm so she couldn’t escape.
“What do you want?” He was almost afraid to hear her answer.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t know what I want.”
He pulled her closer, gripped her by her shoulders and gave her a little shake. Her eyes flew open, she stared up at him and he wanted to both shake her some more and kiss her. God, she made him weak.
So damn weak.
“I’ll tell you what I want.” Bending down, he brushed his mouth against hers. Her lips clung, parted beneath his and he swiped them with his tongue. A tremor moved through him at her taste, at the possibility that this could be the last time he kissed her. He needed to convince her that they belonged together. They needed to work whatever problem she was having out.
“I want you,” he whispered against her lips before kissing her again. Her tongue met his tentatively and just like that, lit a fire deep within him. His cock twitched, his entire body came alive and he pulled her close, as close as he could get her.
But she struggled within his embrace, trying to break free and he wasn’t one to force a woman to do anything. He let her go, watched in horror as she pulled away from him as if she needed the distance.
That hurt. More than he cared to admit.
“You can’t make this better by trying to kiss all thought out of my head. I need—I need time, Evan. I need to think about things.” She turned her back to him.
“So you don’t want to see me anymore.” His chest ached, and he rubbed at it absently. Defeat deflated him like a balloon. He couldn’t take this, her rejection. It sliced through him like a machete, leaving him open and raw.
“I never said that.” Her voice was quiet with the slightest tremble to it. “I just need some space. I want to think over things. And I can’t do that with you here all the time.”
“Fine. I get it.” He sounded like a big baby but she was completely shutting him out.
Evan left the kitchen and went to the couch, grabbing the jacket that he left draped across the back of it. He shrugged it on, didn’t say a word even when she walked into the living room to watch him.
