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She refused to dignify that and told him so with a furious glare.
He sighed. “Why did you become Harrow’s mistress?”
“Because I’ve yet to hear of a tree that produces lumps of gold, why else? I was cast out—”
“In error, obviously,” he interjected wryly.
“Yes, and through no fault of my own, save that of trusting the wrong people,” she added pointedly. “I had neither friends nor prospects when my uncle threw me out. It was this, sell myself at the docks, become an indentured servant, or starvation. I consider myself fortunate to have avoided my other choices.” Her already frayed nerves unraveled a little more, and she prayed he would leave it at that.
He didn’t. “I’ll spare you the trouble of lying in answer to my next question, which is why Harrow took you in the first place. I think your function is to provide a plausible alternative to, and therefore a distraction from, his true affair with that Laurent fellow.”
Diana felt the blood rush from her head and was glad she was sitting.
A sly look of amusement entered his eyes. “I see I’ve struck gold with that supposition.” He chuckled softly. “I’ll admit my mind ran wild with conjecture when I saw you three. I imagined your pianist friend being the man who ruined you for Grenville, and that you’d introduced him to Harrow and that you, he, and Laurent had become a love triangle.”
Shock brought the blood flooding right back into her face. “What? And what do you mean, you saw us?” And just how much had he seen?
His gaze slid away, as if he couldn’t bear to look at her. “I happened to see you all together one morning and witnessed them kiss, immediately after which I watched Laurent handle you in what I felt was a most…familiar manner. Naturally, I made some assumptions.”
Confusion made her frown. “In the morning? But our little act was put on at nigh—” She suddenly remembered the duet in the drawing room and Harrow surprising them with an early visit. “Oh. That morning. But René has never touched me inappropriately—he’s like my brother.”
Now he looked at her again, skepticism written all over his face.
“This is ridiculous!” she scoffed. “Harrow and René have been in love with each other for years—exclusively.” Fear gripped her anew at the admission. “Every word of what I told you about Harrow’s wife, Minerva, is true—by my own life, I swear it. His love for René harms no one. Indeed, if not for that love, I myself would have been lost.” She caught herself reaching out and pulled back her hand, unsure how he’d react to her touch now. “You…you won’t tell anyone? Will you?”
Skepticism was replaced with wry cynicism. “Harrow is not the first man of his kind I’ve met,” he told her. “Even if what such people do defies the edicts of both church and state, it’s not my place to judge a man for what he does in private with another consenting adult. Besides, I believe you’ve made it all but impossible for me to incriminate anyone without also incriminating myself. Or was that not your plan from the start?”
Guilt assaulted her, but it was tempered by resolve. “Everything was perfect until you came along,” she accused, again glaring at him, but without any real heat. “Other men had made nuisances of themselves, but you were different. More persistent. And when you took the house behind mine…well, it frightened me.” She’d meant to say “us,” but the truth was it had been her fear that had spurred Harrow to act.
“I never intended to make you afraid.”
The gentleness of the admission did something to her. Something dangerous. No. I cannot afford to be soft. “I knew there was a chance you’d learn the truth. I tried to convince Harrow to move me again, but he…” She felt herself flush. “He refused, as he thought it would look too suspicious.”
A slanted smile twisted his lips. “So instead of running away or giving me the cold shoulder, you decided to draw me in close enough to make certain I could not escape the honey trap without damning myself.”
It was difficult to meet his eyes, but she made herself do it. “Yes.”
Soft laughter followed her answer. “It surprises me that a gently raised female from a morally upright family would be so devoted to someone like Harrow—and it is devotion,” he said before she could offer any lame excuses about being paid for her loyalty. “You care for him. For them both—you said Laurent is like a brother to you. I assume you must feel the same way about Harrow.”
Diana had no
qualms about answering this time and did so with her head held high. “Society might condemn them, but I won’t—not when so many of the supposedly righteous members of the Ton have proven themselves anything but virtuous. Most of them are no better than snakes.”
Like my uncle.
It was hard not to be bitter. Too hard. And now, with all that had happened, she decided the time for holding back was done. “Throughout my time with Harrow, I’ve become privy to a great many of the Ton’s dirty secrets. Their hypocrisy disgusts me, but his steadfast kindness has proven him a better man than most. Better than my own kin, who robbed and abandoned me without just cause. Harrow took me in when I had no one. He gave me a new life and a chance for a fresh start.”
“At great cost to you,” he interjected, arching a brow.
The smile she gave him was broken, but she didn’t care. “I was already ruined. He saw my need and an opportunity to help himself while helping me. That is no sin. Our friendship may have been born of mutual necessity, but I now consider both him and René—as well as Lady Harrow and her son—my family, and I know they feel likewise. There is nothing I would not do to protect them.”
His expression when she said it told her she’d made her point. “Including ruin me,” he confirmed flatly.
“If necessary, yes.” Shame filled her at how her voice wobbled, but her resolve was adamant. “You said you don’t judge your fellow man. Would you judge me? I only wanted to keep my family safe. You know the punishment they face for their love if they are discovered.”
…
Though being fooled sat ill with Lucas, he couldn’t find it in himself to remain angry. This is my fault. He knew it with certainty. Had he let her alone when she’d first tried to fend him off, none of this would be happening. Instead, he’d pushed.
