AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Perhaps not intentionally, but once you cross the line, things will look quite different from the other side, I assure you.” His shoulders lifted in a gesture of surrender. “If, for whatever reason, you choose to follow in your mother’s footsteps, I must take responsibility for my part in it and help you as I can to avoid the worst of the dangers involved.”
Mélisande drew herself up to her full height, eyes flashing. “I am a countess, David. And a bloody wealthy one, at that! I’ve no need to sell my favors for money or advancement. And nor did my mother. She was of noble birth and chose to become mistress to a king! She certainly didn’t sell herself to the highest bidder!”
David’s smile was full of irony. “Not all courtesans are in it for gain, Melly. There are those who do it purely for pleasure. Look at Lady Sutterfield, for example.”
“Lady Sutterfield? A libertine?” Mélisande laughed. That particular matron was a highly respected widow—and one of her most vocal critics.
“Oh, indeed.” David’s smile turned wolfish. “I know for a fact the lady maintains several lovers simultaneously and participates in all sorts of naughty indulgences. Yet she’s respected by everyone because she maintains the appearance of strict propriety. It’s a lie, and a damned good one.” He chuckled with clear appreciation. “She plays the part of a proper, chaste lady in public and keeps her debauchery quiet. That I’m telling you this violates a promise I made her years ago, but I trust you’ll hold your tongue.”
The very idea of Lady Sutterfield engaging in anything even remotely resembling rampant debauchery was preposterous, but looking in his eyes, Mélisande knew he was telling the truth.
“She never flaunts her peccadilloes,” David continued, “and the gentlemen she takes to her bed never reveal her secrets. She’s exceedingly selective and unerringly discreet. You must cultivate the same qualities if you expect to remain socially acceptable.” He paused. “So many people lead double lives, Melly. If you knew the secrets some people keep, you’d be unable to look them in the eye. And you rub shoulders with them practically every day, you go to their balls, their parties.” He gave her a long look. “You even call some of them your friends.”
He means himself.
She swallowed past the dryness in her throat. This was the David she’d heard talk of in dark whispers. This was his other life, the life he’d never allowed her to see. It was one thing to hear of his dissipation via the gossiping tongues of others; it was another entirely to hear him speak of it. It was disconcerting, to say the least.
“The truth remains hidden because they—we,” he amended, “all follow the same unwritten law: do as you like behind closed doors, but never parade your indulgences publicly or you’ll be ostracized by the very same people secretly committing the same, or worse, sins. That’s the world in which we live, Melly. That’s the world of which you will become part, if you do this.”
Mélisande’s mind whirled. Not only was her view of David rapidly changing, but her view of herself, as well. If this affaire was just a one-time occurrence, a mere fling before settling down, she could see it through to its natural end in relative safety. But if it wasn’t, if her passionate nature was permanently awakened, then she must be prepared to accept the consequences. She must be prepared to don the mantle of deceit permanently, like Lady Sutterfield.
“No wonder you are so jaded,” she muttered. “Do you know many? Courtesans, I mean?” He grinned. “Have you never wondered why my father has been so very furious with me all these years?”
“I’ve overheard him call you a bloody wastrel several times,” she said with a laugh that made her sound far older than her years. “He told Papa you spent monstrous amounts of money while living the prodigal life here in London. Said you’d drive the family into bankruptcy with your penchant for gambling hells and other unsavory pursuits.”
All traces of humor left David’s face. “I haven’t touched the family coffers since before we broke our engagement. He lies to cover the shame of having a son with an unseemly habit of playing the merchant—and what’s worse, successfully. I think he could forgive me if I’d failed miserably in my ventures, but I’m afraid I’ve managed to make enough money to sustain myself in comfort and completely annoy him. And I intend to make a great deal more. As for my other ‘unsavory pursuits,’ ” he added, “I’ve kept several mistresses over the years, openly supporting each in what some have called obscene luxury.”
His smile returned, but it was a vicious expression. “My father’s henchmen keep him well informed, and I delight in giving them interesting news. Nothing pleases me better than to give them a good, rousing show. The overt presentation of some lavish bauble or a new coach and four to my current mistress, for instance. I usually receive a howling missive from him within a month or so of such an act. I quite enjoy reading them over breakfast; I find it aids the digestion.”
Mélisande couldn’t help laughing, in spite of her shock. “I knew you’d led a rather wayward life, David, but I never imagined. Truly, I thought you’d gained your reputation mostly through overblown gossip.”
“Whatever rumors you’ve heard are probably watered down.”
“And yet you’d help me enter into such a life?” she asked with some doubt.
“Melly”—he sighed, crossing his arms—“as your friend, of course I would prefer you take a different path. But as you so quickly pointed out, I really have no say in the matter, do I? And, as your friend, it would be unthinkable of me to allow you to ruin yourself out of ignorance if I can prevent it. Thus, my knowledge is at your disposal, even if it pains me to give it. Believe me when I say that never in my most demented dreams did I ever imagine tutoring you in the art of clandestine immorality.”
Her eyes were sharp and clear as she spoke. “I thank you for your sacrifice, David. You are a true friend, and it means a great deal to have your support.”
“I admit, I’d hoped to change your mind with the brutal truths,” he said, “but so be it.”
“I had not realized it would be so very complicated,” she mused, chewing her lip. “I cannot take him to my bed tonight. It shall have to wait until the proper arrangements can be made. But,” she said, giving him a knowing look, “do not think that I shall wait too long.”
“I’ll contact my solicitor in the morning. One more thing, Melly,” he added. “If Gravina should decide not to be discreet, you will have a problem, one that will most likely require a duel to resolve. Naturally, I shall be the one to challenge him. If that happens, everyone will expect us to marry. Am I clear?” he asked, raising a brow.
“Only if there is a child to consider,” she answered. “That was the bargain. If there is no child, there will be no marriage.”
“You would rather be branded a harlot than marry me?” he asked, unbelieving. “Am I so very repugnant, then?”
“One would almost think you wanted to marry me,” she said, crossing her arms and fixing him with a frank stare.
A scathing snort burst from his lips. “I have no desire for you, Melly,” he answered. “I’ll not deny that you are one of the most beautiful women in England, but I might as well be a eunuch where you are concerned. You are, however, my closest friend, and I have no wish to see you miserable. As I pointed out years ago, if we married, we could lead entirely separate lives. You could do as you liked and I would care not. Many marriages are so arranged. Most, in fact.”
“And what of heirs?”
“I’ve no desire for children of my own, as you well know. The blood in my veins is far more tainted than yours could ever be, for all my legitimacy,” he said bitterly. “As odd as it may sound, I’d welcome a cuckoo and treat him or her as my own. I’d be a good father to your children and a good husband to you, if in name only.” He grinned suddenly, mirth returning to his features. “It’d be a nasty knock to my father, although the old bastard would never know it. That alone might make it worth it.”
Mélisande released the breath she’d been holding. “You’re not your father, you know,” she blurted, knowing she was treading on delicate ground. “You’re nothing like him. Just because he’s—”
