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st, intending to stretch up and kiss him. He staggered backward a little, as though caught off balance. The clumsy motion startled her. Usually he was so controlled and elegant in his movements.
“Percy, I want to get married right away,” she said in a rush. “I don’t want to wait. If we take your carriage now, we can be in Scotland in less than three days. We’ll have a good head start. No one will be leaving here for hours yet.”
He stared at her for a moment. “You want to run for Gretna Green?”
“Yes. Right now. This very minute.”
“Why?”
“We can purchase a change of clothing at one of the inns along the way when we stop to eat,” she pressed on. “It’s only for a few days, and then we’ll be back in London again. It’ll be an adventure!” she added.
“Sabrina, I asked you a question. Why, of a sudden, do you crave an anvil wedding?”
“I simply don’t wish to wait any longer,” she told him quite truthfully. “We both know what we want, and I think it’s pointless to wait any longer to have it.”
“Do you think me a complete fool? Sabrina, it’s no good. I saw you with Henry.”
Her stomach clenched. “A final farewell. I told you, I’ve made my choice,” she said, grasping him by the shoulders.
He pulled back and shook his head slowly from side to side. “Don’t. It’s not enough, Sabrina.”
She blinked, not understanding. “Not enough?”
“I know now that I want what I saw in your eyes when you looked at him. And that’s something I can never have from you. You are fond of me, and perhaps in time you might come to feel more, but I would have to be content with only a corner of your heart. I was a bloody fool to think I could ever be satisfied with that as my lot.”
“But you and I were agreed regarding what we consider essential to a successful marriage. I thought you understood—”
“I cannot marry you, Sabrina. To do so would only result in misery for us both. And for Henry.” His mouth twisted.
“You are breaking our engagement?” The words came out only faintly.
“Go to him, Sabrina, and be happy. Marry Henry. It’s him you want, not me. He loves you, you know. He asked me to help him protect you, and I wondered then if he felt more for you than he claimed. He denied it then, but I know now that he is in love with you—just as much as you are in love with him.” He looked down, as though unable to meet her gaze any longer. “He is a good man. The very best, in fact. You could not ask for a better husband than he will be to you. Far better than I would have been, despite all of my good intentions.”
Shock raced through her, burning down her spine with an unpleasant stinging sensation. Marry Henry? After all she’d done to avoid it? This was a nightmare. Nothing had worked out as she’d planned. Nothing.
She backed toward the door, grasping its handle with shaking fingers. “I cannot,” she said roughly. “If you will not marry me, then I shall find another, but not him. Never him.” She turned the handle and fled.
DAWN ARRIVED FAR too soon, its relentless, golden beams prying Sabrina’s swollen eyelids open against their will. Her head ached abominably, her face felt puffy, and her nose was as raw as butcher’s beef. Rolling over, she buried her head beneath a pillow. “How on earth am I going to get out of this?” she groaned.
Percy would let her announce the end of their engagement, of course. He would leave it to her and accept whatever excuse she gave out, for he was far too much of a gentleman to tell anyone he’d been the one to call it off.
Would yet another man be willing to brave the notorious woman who’d chewed her way through four suitors in one Season? Hope struggled to stay alive in her. It was possible. It had to be. After all, women who’d suffered far worse events still married, and married well. She rose and, after applying cool cloths to her eyes to reduce the soreness and swelling, dressed. She ate breakfast in silence, taking only toast and weak tea. Truth be told, she hadn’t the stomach for much else, in spite of her perfectly healthy constitution.
“I’ve noted your lack of appetite of late, Sabrina. You are not with child, I hope,” her mother murmured quietly after the servants left.
Startled, Sabrina looked up. “Mama, surely you don’t think I would do something so foolish? Heaven knows I’ve better sense than that.”
“Heaven may have confidence in your good judgment, daughter, but I’ve been questioning it for quite some time,” her mother said snippily. “Given your fiancé’s reputation, I and the rest of London will consider it a miracle if your first child isn’t born several months ‘early.’”
Fiancé. Sabrina glanced down at the ring on her finger. She’d forgotten to give it back. And that blessed oversight had just saved her from having to make any unpleasant explanations—at least for the time being, provided he didn’t immediately demand the token’s return. “Then I suppose you’d better prepare to be astonished,” she said, lashing back with quiet venom, “for I remain as God intended until I am married.”
“Wonders will never cease,” her mother said, ignoring her show of temper.
Sabrina rose. “You wrongly malign him, Mama, and I find myself quite dismayed to learn your opinion of me as well. You must excuse me. My head has begun to ache again, and I wish to return to my chambers.”
She stayed out of sight until her mother left to fulfill her social obligations. It was midafternoon before she ventured down to the morning room for a change of scenery.
She needed to get around the problem of Percy’s defection without her mother or Henry finding out about it. If he did, he’d offer himself up as a replacement, and she’d have no choice but to accept or become a spinster aunt. She grimaced at the idea, but it was better than the convent.
