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“Indeed,” said Rowena. “You must visit us again soon.”
It would never be the way it was before, but Sorin couldn’t deny the fact that he’d missed this place even more than he had Holly Hall. And he couldn’t deny the fact that it felt wonderful to be here even though it presented him with a dire problem in the form of Eleanor. “Thank you,” he replied, bowing to them both. “I certainly will. Rowena, Charles, it has been a delight.”
Rowena smiled fondly. “The pleasure is all ours.” She turned to Eleanor. “Will you please accompany our guest to the stables? I have something to discuss with Charles and Caroline.”
From the corner of his eye, Sorin saw that the redheaded girl wore a look of undisguised rancor at the announcement. Her misplaced ambition to bag him was clear. And it was his own bloody fault.
Rising, Eleanor smoothed her skirts. “I shall be delighted, of course.”
He didn’t quite know what to expect as they sauntered down the otherwise empty hall that led to the rear of the house, but it wasn’t this silence. Eleanor had always been so talkative, ever excited to relay to him the latest bit of news from her world. The quiet, composed woman beside him seemed almost foreign. Though he knew it for foolishness, he much preferred her blushes and outbursts. “I suppose you’ll be happy to return to London?” he finally ask
ed.
“I shall be happy to see some of my friends, but in truth I much prefer quiet living.” She looked at him sidelong. “I’m not nearly as frivolous-minded as Charles believes.”
“I’ve never thought you frivolous-minded.”
It earned him a faint smile. “Charles thinks all women are bent on gaiety. He teases me over what he calls my ‘false temperance’ and vows that I secretly harbor the same giddiness and whimsy as other ladies my age. I vow to be bullheaded and disagree with him.”
That’s better. “One would think he might appreciate your taking the more sober attitude.”
“Indeed, one would,” she said with a small sigh. “But I’m afraid that as long as I fail to agree with him that marriage is the only sensible course, my cousin will continue to view me as a child incapable of any sort of wisdom.”
His gaze was drawn to her mouth, which was curled in a wry smile. “I’ve met a great many matrons sorely lacking in wisdom. It’s not some mysterious gift to be instantly imparted upon speaking one’s wedding vows. It can be obtained only through experiencing the travails of life.”
She laughed softly. “Perhaps my cousin is correct after all. I’ve certainly suffered very few such trials. My life here at Holbrook has been idyllic.”
He stopped. “Eleanor, you have suffered such loss as can only impart wisdom far beyond your years.” He referred to her parents’ untimely demise when she was but nine. Did he dare bring up the more recent past? “I must confess I’m astonished to find you so reserved.”
“If I appear so, it is because that is what is expected of me,” she replied, her voice taking on a crisp edge. “I would not shame my guardians by conducting myself in a manner unbefitting my station. As you once said, ‘a true lady always exhibits an attitude of polite reserve’.”
Damn, and damn again. “Yes, but there is a vast difference between reserve and gravity. Reserve is merely the veil that conceals one’s true sentiments from being inappropriately displayed.”
“And gravity?”
“Gravity is the hallmark of a soul that no longer experiences joy.” Such would likely be his fate once this was finished. He pushed the black thought aside. “You had a foot on that path when I first met you, and I was quite relieved to see you abandon it. May God grant that you never again find it.”
“You showed me a better path,” she replied softly, her irritation fading. “And you’ve been my faithful guide ever since.”
“Yes. But I have perhaps been wrong about a few things along the way.” At her puzzled look, he hurried on. “I cannot help but feel there is something between us that remains unresolved. I know you’ve long since forgiven me for my harsh words the last—”
“Of course I have,” she interrupted, looking away uncomfortably.
“Eleanor, please just hear me.” He took a step closer, forcing her to again meet his gaze. “I wish there to be no bitter stones between us. In the past, I might have been a bit…over-zealous in my correction of you, but I never wished you anything but happiness.”
“I’ve never thought otherwise,” she said, straightening her shoulders to address him with dignity worthy of a queen. “And you needn’t worry. I recognize that what you did was for my own good. I have since seen several of my peers fall prey to a lack of reserve. They displayed their sentiments openly, only to be rejected and humiliated—or worse, ruined by an unscrupulous man’s whim. Because of your wise and timely instruction, I’ve avoided such pitfalls and the misery that accompanies them. For that, I cannot thank you enough.”
Sorin bit back a groan. “Please, don’t thank me,” he managed at last. “It was not an entirely selfless act, you know. I was just as concerned for my own reputation as I was for yours.”
“I know,” she said, surprising him. “I admit that at first I failed to understand, but in time I grew to comprehend the untenable position in which I had put you. I was impetuous and indiscreet, and you were right to correct me before I could publicly shame us all.” She bowed her head. “I doubt anyone else would have done so as gently.”
Remorse piled onto his shoulders until the weight of it was almost unbearable. “Eleanor, Charles has told me of your many rejected suitors. You have, to his utter bewilderment and despair, refused to consider any and every gentleman that has expressed interest in you, and I cannot help but feel that the fault is in some way at least partly mine. While it is true that I’d hoped to impart to you a sense of decorum, I never intended that you should withhold yourself so entirely as to become isolated.”
In the silence that followed, he braced himself.
But in spite of her reddening face, she spoke with chilling calm. “You confuse reserve with a lack of feeling. Reserve is the veil behind which we conceal those sentiments inappropriate to display, is that not what you said?”
“It was indeed,” he replied, now regretting the fact that he’d ever broached the subject.
