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"I shouldn't have sprung it on you like that. I meant to propose to you in a much more romantic fashion, but you surprised me."
I swallow the risotto in my mouth. "You broke up with me."
"I know." He sighs before starting again. "I knew that what we had was worth fighting for, but I didn't know what I'd do with a wife so much younger than me."
My eyes fill with tears. Even talking about his proposal, he's still rejecting me.
"I didn't mean it like that, Elia," Jeff says.
"Then what did you mean?"
"I was too worried about what other people would think, seeing me wed my young, barely legal next door neighbor." "I'm 19," I say.
"I know," he says. "Look, I was at a point where I either needed to marry you or break up with you. It wouldn't be fair to you to lead you on and pretend that I was going to offer you something I couldn't give."
"You obviously chose one path over the other."
"Yeah, I did. And it was a mistake. One you can let me rectify."
I shrug. "If you're asking for a 50/50 custody agreement, I'm okay with that. But the answer to your proposal is still no."
Jeff has an uncomfortable look on his face, as if he's sitting on a pinecone. I almost giggle with that visual.
"Elia..." he starts.
"No," I tell him. "Look, I know that you're a good father. And I'm happy to let this child grow up knowing that you're his or her father. But you dumped me not very long ago, remember? And if I hadn't had morning sickness and gone to the doctor, you wouldn't even be speaking to me right now, let alone proposing."
Jeff looks a little green, which is how I know that what I'm saying is true.
"I'm not trying to coerce you into marrying me or being my husband. Someday, I'll get married to someone who loves me. And that day is not today."
"You're insane if you think that I'd let another man raise my child," he says, his voice a little louder than usual.
"We can cross that bridge when we get to it," I tell him. "You're certainly welcome to 50% custody, as I said before. The rest we can work out."
He jumps to his feet. "Elia, I will fight you in court for primary custody."
My heart sinks. "What?"
"I mean it," he says. "And you won't be able to stop me. You're a teenager. If you go to college, the baby would be better of with me anyway."
"You have to hire nannies!" I sputter. "That's how I ended up at your house anyway!"
"Fuck it," Jeff says. "My house is probably a better place for a newborn baby than yours would be. Have you told your father yet?"
I shake my head. "He's going to ask about the details. I'm not really ready to..."
"We'll tell him together," Jeff says, cutting me off. "I should take responsibility for this."
"He's going to beat you," I tell him.
"He can try." Jeff rubs his forehead. "I did defile his daughter."
"Defile," I snort. "With my consent. I'd had a crush on you for years. Maybe he was pushing us together by forcing me to live with you while he was out of the country."
"You think so?" Jeff says. "Marjorie wanted me to leave you alone."
I shrug. "It's kind of moot now, if we're getting married."
