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Tommy pressed in the code numbers for the third time and a faint screeching sound became louder and louder. Tommy turned and stuck his tongue out at Jared.
Rene second guessed herself and for an instant thought, Fuck this, I’m outta here, but before she could speak, a blinding light filled the booth. She looked down at her hands, and they became transparent before her eyes and she suddenly felt euphoric. With a last blast of light, they were gone. Instantly she was in darkness and heard a clomping sound.
“Ouch, dammit, Tommy, you left the light off and I hit my toe on the table.” Jared fumbled around for the light.
The room became bright with a neon-like glow. It wasn’t much bigger than a walkin closet. All that was there were a few hooks on the wall and a bench on either side.
“How did you guys do that? How did we get here? Where the fuck are we? You must have drugged me.” Rene dug into her bag for her pepper spray.
“This is the ship we take to travel to Uranus. It’s like a probe ship. Four weeks travel and we go up through the back hole to home.” Jared shook a chill from his spine.
The more she looked around, the more things began to sink in. She dropped her bag and snapped.
“You mean, you guys really are aliens.”
“Well, duhhhhhh, that’s what we have been telling you all day.” Tommy rolled his eyes.
“This is… Oh, good God, fucking A, shit for luck, sonovabitch, mutherfuckin bullshit, eat my pussy ‘til I scream, unbelievable, anus licking, cock smoking—” Jared leaned towards Tommy, “I think she’s going to explode.”
“I hope not, I kinda like her,” Tommy answered.
“Me, too.”
“—cunt munching, hairy balled liars, you bastards lied to me!” 37
S.L. Carpenter
“Hello??” Tommy did the quotes again with his fingers. “We told you. You weren’t listening. You were too busy looking at Jared’s cock.” He was right about that part.
“I-I am in a spaceship. Suddenly I don’t feel well.” Rene sat on one of the long, smooth, white benches. “Please don’t use one of those Martian anal probes on me.”
“Now that’s disgusting. The elders used to do that but the people got all scatterbrained and weird. Of course those probes were huge and opened their assholes to the size of a coffee can. Just thinking about that makes my butt hurt.” Tommy scrunched his eyebrows together and continued. “Rene, we just want you to come to our planet. We’re not interested in your ass.”
“Speak for yourself.” Jared piped in, winking at Rene.
Sitting there, Rene was in shock. She was on a spaceship, leaving her own planet and had no idea what to do. The reality of the situation finally hit. Up ‘til now she had foolishly thought it was just fun and games.
Jared sat beside her. “Don’t be scared. It’s not like we are from Mars or anything.”
“Men are from Mars, women are from Venus is what I heard.” Tommy and Jared burst into laughter.
Jared began to speak. “What moron said this? They are some really uptight aliens.
They are all freaky and into bondage and short. About two feet tall with tiny sex organs and it is red everywhere. Picture pissed off pygmies with a bad attitude and small-cox virus. The guys from Mars are complete assholes.”
“I’d think the assholes would live in Uranus.” Rene didn’t notice the stern glare from the guys.
“The Venus part is more accurate. Venusian women are…well. Mmmmmm…” Jared closed his eyes for a brief moment of peace.
38
In the End
“You and your Venus trip.” Tommy snapped his fingers in front of Jared’s face. “He spends a year on Venus with three hundred thousand Venusian women and he is hooked for life.”
“Sorry, everyone fondly remembers their first real love. The difference between a Venusian woman and Earth women is anatomy design. Venusian women have their pussy going across instead of front to back so when you spread their legs apart, it gets tighter.” Jared motioned like he was breaking a wishbone with his hands.
Tommy interrupted. “They also have three breasts.”
