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The guys looked at each other and shrugged.
“Whoever smelt it, musta dealt it,” Tommy piped in and started walking down the ramp where their ship had docked.
“No offense guys, but this place smells like shit.” Jared replied, “Well it is Uranus.”
When she saw a NO SMOKING sign flashing in red, she understood what the smell was—methane gas.
There were a dozen or so docks like theirs that all connected to a round opening to a tunnel. As they went through the tunnel, it opened onto a brightly lit city street. On the street, numerous eating establishments lined the sidewalks. It was like Disneyland.
Burrito King, Beans-R-Us, Fiber Hut, Colon Burger and a single Oriental restaurant with the name Wong Hole on it.
“Well, I guess we better introduce you to the queen. She has to meet everyone that is new inside Uranus.” Jared seemed a little depressed instead of being excited to be home. “Come on, Tommy. Back to the old grind.”
“Jared?” Rene grabbed his hand. “What’s wrong? You seem…well…you seem a little down. Aren’t you happy to be home?”
52
In the End
Tommy interrupted. “He hates it here. He gets to live in the palace but he doesn’t like his job.”
“I am sort of the sexual concierge for the queen.” Rene backed up. “What the fuck is that?”
“It’s kind of like a proctologist. I deal with assholes all day. I make sure all her men stay in line. I protect her and stay with her wherever she goes. It’s really boring. She hardly ever goes out and when she does, I have to go everywhere with her. I despise shopping and she loves it.”
“I would die to spend all day shopping,” Tommy gushed, rolling his eyes.
“What do you do, Tommy?” Rene asked.
“Don’t ask. I am in charge of decorating the palace. I feel like a maid, though. I have to pick up after her and she leaves shit everywhere. Being the queen of Uranus is a dirty job.” Tommy sighed, and they all started walking along the narrowing street.
The street ended and in single file, the few people walked through the small tunnel.
Rene noticed small debris hanging along the walls. “What’s that?” she asked.
“Cling-ons. Don’t mess with those, they stink and stick to everything.” Walking through the end of the tunnel, it opened up to a brightly lit space. All around were flowers, trees and greenery. It was extremely contrasting to the streets of Uranus. “Where are we?” She tapped Jared on the shoulder.
Pointing to a sign hanging from the shiny archway it read “Welcome to Bowel”.
“Bowel? You have a city named Bowel? This is a joke, right?” she laughed as she spoke.
“This is the entrance to Castle Bowel. The queen lives in the Bowel. What’s so funny about that?” Tommy seemed a little confused at Rene’s humor.
“If I have to explain it, it must not be funny.” The threesome continued down the road.
53
S.L. Carpenter
“Can we go shopping? I’m just famished.” Tommy rubbed his belly and smacked his lips together.
“I need to go check in at work. You two go ahead.” Jared held onto Rene’s hand and slowly pulled away. Their hands touched until only their fingertips lingered in a final caress.
“Oh, enough of this lovey-dovey stuff, let’s go shopping.” Tommy was all giddy like a woman with a new credit card at the mall.
Rene stopped dead in her tracks. No way! she thought, wondering if her eyes had deceived her. Stepping back two steps she looked through a glass window and saw a line of men standing naked and at attention. They dangled in various stages and lengths.
“Oh, the queen is looking for tonight’s victims. Must be a full moon again. Actually, it’s always a full moon with twenty-two of those things circling the planet.” Tommy tugged at her arm but she wasn’t moving. “Come on, Rene.” Rene wasn’t budging, she was window-shopping. Thoughts of a charge account with no spending limit crossed her mind, as did the thought of which stud to use for each night. One, two or three at a time, the queen had a tough choice.
