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"I've always been a singer I guess. I love playing music. The crowds are great."
"I used to play. Never anything more than toy around with the classics, Mozart, Beethoven and standard piano classes. Edward hated them. Always playing baseball and football with his dad and friends. You take lessons?"
"I learned to play by ear. I don't know. I always had an innate talent for music I guess.” Ami smiled and took another sip from her coffee.
"I haven't talked like this for a long time. Things like this remind me of my mom. I miss her.” Ami sighed. “Cancer sucks."
"I'm sorry. I didn't know her, but anytime you lose someone it's hard. Edward has dealt with terrible loss too."
Ami looked curiously at Ellen. “What happened?” Ami felt a little awkward and guilty asking the question.
"He lost his wife. Her name was Ashley.” Ellen sighed. “She was driving home in a rainstorm and was hit by a truck on the interstate. It was one of th
ose freak accidents that was nobody's fault."
This was the bad side of reality. “Holy shit ... I mean, oh my God."
"You were right the first time. It was horrible. His life was shattered. She was everything to him. They had one of those good relationships and let me tell you, sweetheart, he became a different man. He was drunk for most of the first year. He decided to move back here because he couldn't stay in the city. Everything reminded him of her."
"Well he seems to be doing okay now. Do you think he's moving on a little with things?"
"The past year or so he's been back to himself. But every time he gets happy or good things happen he pulls away. He still blames himself for everything that happened. Life can be cruel, but you have to keep hoping that things will get better. He likes you, Ami. I can tell. You're the first woman he's actually talked to me about. It's a compliment to what you bring to him. He seems to act more like he was before.
"Ellen, do you know who I really am?"
"Yes. Edward showed me your pictures and some of the tabloids you've been in."
Ami hung her head. “Most of those stories are bullshit. I can't even go out on a date without people saying I'm in love, getting married, cheating on someone or having an alien baby. I really hate that everyone judges me by what they read. I just want you to know that I asked Edward to bring me here. I was and still am a bit of a mess, but I really needed this break from all the crap in my life. I won't hurt him, Ellen."
"I know you won't. But he likes you, and that can get tricky. It's been a long time for him."
"He's the first man I've met in a long while that seems to be just a regular guy. I can understand why he's guarded, though, after what you told me. I know I was after...” She paused and looked down.
"After what?"
"I don't like talking about it.” Ami wasn't sure if she should say what happened.
"Oh, I apologize. It's none of my business. But sometimes talking to someone helps."
"Yeah, perhaps it does. I went through a few shrinks but of course I had to keep everything hush-hush. I lost a baby."
"Oh no. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay. The guy was a one-night stand that ended up lasting a bit longer than that, and my career was just starting to take off. It was four years ago. They decided it would be better to end things before it went too far."
"They? Shouldn't that be up to you?"
"Yes, it should've. That's why it still lingers in my heart. I didn't care that the father wouldn't be there. He was a nice guy. It was just unplanned. We were partying all the time and got stupid. It was probably for the best. But I really thought about it for a while—having a child, a family, the white picket fence and stuff."
"Well you're still young, dear. There's still time."
"I guess. Everyone said the same kind of things ... some other time, some other place, but you're a mother and you know what goes through your head. I just ... I don't know."
"You just wonder what if..."
With a smile, Ami looked at Edward's mother. She understood. “You want to go shopping with me later this afternoon? I have to pick up some things at the market for dinner. Feeding those two guys is a chore, especially after them being out all day."
"I don't know. I wanted to come here and kinda hide out. I went out with Edward and got in a bar fight last night."
