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“I’m sorry if I woke you. This song started playing in my head. I haven’t had the urge or the inspiration to write in a while. It’s because of you, Edward. You have shown me a light again.” She sat on the bed beside him.
“Ami, I don’t know what or how to feel anymore. Whatever we have now is, I don’t know. Lust, friendship, fuck buddies, or maybe it’s the beginning of something. Maybe we should just end it now before we both get hurt.”
“What? Why? I like how things are right now. I’m starting to feel like the old me again. The music is coming back to me.”
“Well I’m happy for you. And it’s great that your love of music is back, but you can’t stay here.”
“Is it Ashley?”
“How do you know about her?”
“Your mom told me what happened. I’m sorry about that, but it was a long time ago, Edward. You can’t stop…”
“How the fuck can you know how I feel, Ami? Have you ever lost somebody like that? Have you?”
“Not really, but I can understand…”
“You don’t understand shit.” Edward’s vision blurred and he tried to hide the tears coming from the turmoil and pain he still felt in his heart. “I’ve had to live with the thought that I could have done something different. That I could have prevented it. Maybe I should have picked her up that day. Maybe I was too lazy to go myself on that errand—whatever. But I live with that every fucking day of my life. It should have been me, not her. It should have been me!”
“Why? Why should it have been you? You don’t decide who lives or dies… God does. Life is a series of tests waiting to happen. People are here one minute, gone the next. What happened to you was horrific, absolutely terrible, but you have to move on. You are here, Edward. You are here now. Don’t give up on the now because of the then. You’ll regret it your whole life. I know what I’m talking about.”
“I just can’t right now. I can’t start having feelings for someone else.” He held back his pain and wiped away the tear rolling down his nose.
Ami reached over and took his face in her hands, staring into his moist eyes. “My life is a series of things I have to do. Places I have to be and people all asking for something from me. But you…you, Edward, are the first person I have met in too long that gives me something for nothing. You are a good man, and I don’t want to screw that up either. I am giving us a chance.”
Edward reached up and put his hand over hers.
“You haven’t even given yourself a chance—how could you ever even begin to give us one?”
Ami wrapped her arms around Edward. She was literally baring everything to him, her naked body and vulnerable heart. “Let’s just take it a day at a time.”
They fell into the bed, both saddened by memories of the past. She held him as tightly as she could.
Limbs tangled together, they took comfort from each other.
Friday night rolled around. Edward and Ami sat in the too quiet restaurant. The mood in the place seemed tense.
“Edward, I don’t know what we’re going to do. The time here has been great. I feel more relaxed and comfortable than I have in years. But you know this will have to end. You know who I am and what I do. At some point I’ll have to go back.”
With a subtle smile he spoke. “I know. This past week has been tough, but you know, I realized I can be myself and be with someone. Not just the sex either, even though that was incredible. I guess I want to thank you for helping me.”
“Helping you what?”
“To move on. I was pretty screwed up. I know we can’t have the typical life because you are someone famous and me hanging around would seem like I am just there for the money. But I see you as a beautiful woman, not just the image you portray.”
She reached her hand out across the table and took his hand. Squeezing it gently she smiled back.
“Thank you. You really do know what to say to make a woman feel good.”
“Well I try… Can we go fuck now?” They both laughed.
“Oh shit!”
“What is it?” Edward looked behind him to see what Ami was looking at.
A crowd of people gathered by the door with cameras and a TV crew. They had found her.
“It’s okay. We can sneak out the back.” Edward motioned to the waiter. “Hey, Frankie, keep them busy please.”
