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Then he released her and stepped back.
He stared at her, and the silence hung between them. She wanted to lurch forward and tell him she would go back with him. She would be his soul-mate and wife, and they would live happily ever after together.
But real life wasn’t like that.
Clearly, he saw the determination in her eyes. He sighed.
“Good-bye, Crystal.”
He pulled a small controller from his pocket and pushed a button. Then he was gone.
Crystal glanced around her apartment, feeling a little out of place. Here she was, back at home after travelling in a spaceship far from Earth. She should be happy to be home, but it all seemed a little…anticlimactic.
She walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge door, but all that was there were a few vodka coolers, some wilted lettuce, a half carton of milk she hadn’t finished before she’d left on vacation, and some condiments. She grabbed a cooler and opened it, then poured it into a tall glass and added ice. She’d have to go out shopping and get some food, but that could wait until she was a little more settled in again.
She walked into the spare bedroom she had set up as her office and turned on the computer. Checking email seemed like a nice, ordinary task to pull her back into her regular life again. To help her feel settled.
Because right now she felt anything but settled. In fact, she felt very unsettled, her insides fluttering as if filled with butterflies. She was home. She should be happy.
But she wasn’t. Memories of Terrien washed through her, and her heart ached.
She opened her browser and glanced through the inbox at the long list of unread messages, then tried to lose herself in the mindless task of sorting through them. They were mostly newsletters she subscribed to, bill notifications, messages from Facebook friends, et cetera.
Time slipped away, but thoughts of Terrien didn’t.
She could feel the urgent longing she’d experienced before he’d come into her life, but now she recognized it for what it was. Back then, it had felt like lust. And it had been, in part. A need to join with him. To have him inside her body. Joined in an intimate way. In a loving way.
At first, since she’d never met him—didn’t even know he existed—it had hit her as a physical need for sex, but no man had satisfied that need because none of them had been the man she needed. The man she was meant to be with.
That man was Terrien.
Oh, God. What had she done?
This feeling inside her—this longing that gnawed at her insides—was a longing for him. And it would never diminish. It would never go away.
Oh, God, she was in love with Terrien. And she’d sent him away. Forever. He was gone from her life, and she couldn’t do anything about it.
Chapter Fourteen
Crystal stood and walked to the window, then stared out at the city below. There were people all around her—in the apartments surrounding hers, on the sidewalks below…in the restaurants, coffee shops, stores, and cars travelling along the streets. But not one could fill the need inside her.
Only Terrien could do that. Only he could fill her life with joy.
Damn it, why had she run away from what they had?
She needed to be independent. She needed control over her own life, but he’d never tried to control her. He’d even agreed to bring her home when she’d insisted, despite the fact that he knew that would steal away his happiness forever.
She clenched her fists. The stupid thing was, she had actually let her fear of being controlled control her. She had been more afraid of that than losing the man she loved. The only man who could make her happy.
And now she’d pay the price.
They’d both pay the price for her stupidity.
If only she had another chance. If only…
A knock sounded at her door, and she dashed the tears from her eyes. Tears she hadn’t even realized she’d shed. She walked out the office door to the hallway, thankful for something to take her mind off the pain, but as she walked into the living room, she remembered Terrien standing in this room only a couple of hours ago, and the tears welled again.
A knock sounded again. It must be the building manager, because anyone else would have had to buzz the intercom. She snatched a tissue from the box beside the couch and dried her eyes, then opened the door.
