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‘They weren’t good either.’
‘That was the whole point!’ She glared at him. ‘I didn’t want to look good. I didn’t want to be flattered. Sometimes it feels as though I’m wearing a mask that no one wants to take off because they don’t care what’s underneath. As if there isn’t anything underneath.’ Her eyes glinted, but with pain, not anger. ‘You know, when enough people treat you like that, you start to wonder if they’re right and you are empty inside. But I’m not. I’m more than my face. I’ve made myself more than that and I won’t be treated like an ornament to be possessed or used ever again. I want to be seen for my whole self.’
‘I can see you.’ He moved towards her, but she swayed backwards. ‘Henrietta, I’m not like those other men, I promise. I don’t want to possess or to use you.’
She shook her head sadly. ‘When we became friends I thought that maybe I’d been too suspicious and you really were an honourable man, but now it turns out you’ve been thinking the worst about me this whole time!’ Her eyelashes quivered. ‘Tell me the truth. Is that the real reason you’re still here?’
‘You know that’s not true.’
‘Do I? Or did you think that if you helped with my nephews then I’d repay you somehow?’
‘No! I’ve told you why I want to help.’
‘So you don’t want anything else?’
‘No.’ He stopped and frowned, compelled to be honest. ‘Yes, but not like that. Truthfully, I’ve wanted to kiss you from the first moment I saw you, but you made it clear that you only wanted friendship and I would never abuse that, but it doesn’t stop me from finding you attractive. You, that is, not just your face. Yes, you’re beautiful. That night when we first met, I thought you were the most perfect-looking woman I’d ever seen. I thought that it was impossible to imagine anyone more beautiful, but none of that would matter a damn if it wasn’t for who you are inside. Your beauty is in your heart and soul. It’s in the way you care for your nephews, the way you let Nancy rant whenever she wants to, the way you help strangers who stand outside your shop looking hungry. That’s the real you. That’s why you’re even more beautiful to me now.’ He paused. ‘But you’re not perfect.’
She blinked and then stared at him, her eyes wide with a look that he couldn’t interpret. ‘I’m not?’
‘No, I only thought so at first.’ He took a cautious step forward, only this time she didn’t move away. ‘The fact is, one of your eyes is a slightly greener shade than the other, your laugh can be a little too high-pitched and you smooth your hair much too often.’
‘What’s wrong with smoothing my hair? I like to be neat.’
‘I’ve noticed, but some people could argue that you’re a little too neat, especially when you’re standing next to a ruffian with a bruised nose. It’s enough to make a man feel self-conscious.’
‘Oh.’ Her lips parted slowly. ‘And you’re not just saying all this to make me feel better?’
‘Yes and no. I can want to make you feel better and mean it, too, can’t I?’
She frowned as if the idea had never struck her before. ‘I suppose so.’
‘Just like I can think that you’re beautiful and see more than your face?’
‘Ye-es.’ Her breathing sounded erratic now, almost as ragged as his own. ‘Then you really want me? The real me?’
‘Yes. Quite a lot, in fact, but I thought you only wanted friendship?’
‘I did.’ She swallowed, drawing her tongue lightly across her top lip. ‘Before...’
‘Before?’ His pulse thudded at the word.
‘Before I got to know you.’ Her eyes widened even further, as if she were trying to hypnotise him again. ‘But how do I know you’re telling the truth? I couldn’t bear to make another mistake.’
‘Then I won’t be a mistake.’ He lifted his hands to her face, cradling her cheeks between his fingers. ‘I promise you, Henrietta, but I won’t kiss you unless you want me to...’
* * *
Henrietta caught her breath, trying to get her swirling thoughts into some kind of coherent order, though it seemed impossible when Sebastian was standing so close, his lips within a hair’s breadth of hers, his gaze smouldering with desire and the promise he’d just made her. The feeling of his hands on her cheeks raised gooseflesh on her skin, making her mouth feel dry and her heart skip one, if not several, beats. He’d just said that he liked her. He’d just said that he wanted to kiss her, too. The words ought to have sent her running and yet, for the first time in what felt like a long time, they didn’t. Because she trusted him. She knew that in as much as she knew anything at that moment—so much that the whisper was past her lips before she even realised she was speaking.
‘I want you, too.’
She didn’t have to wait long for his response. The words were barely out of her mouth before his lips brushed against hers, soft and warm and gentle, as if he half expected her to pull away. Instead she kissed him back and it was more, much more, than the moderately pleasant feeling she’d experienced the one time she’d kissed Mr Hoxley. She felt as though her body had just come to life, as though she really were an ice queen and her frozen limbs were melting to liquid.
Her heart was racing a mile to the minute, too, making her feel vulnerable and strangely powerful at the same time, and she was aware of a strange mewling sound in the back of her throat as Sebastian’s hand moved to the small of her back, drawing her body against his and kissing her even more deeply... It was bliss, it was perfect, it was how she’d always imagined being kissed...
They both jumped, his arm tightening protectively around her waist at the sound of a thud, followed by a splash and two loud squeals from below.
‘What—?’
