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And while that might be hot — because unfortunately, I’m so attracted to mystery — I knew it didn’t make for a safe bed fellow. Especially because we were just passing through town. If I’d planned to be in Rough and Ready any longer… who knows? Maybe we could’ve kickstarted a thing, Carter and me. As the situation stood, I couldn’t risk those tumultuous waters.
Knowing the real and smart objections didn’t make it any easier, though, didn’t soothe the hungry longing in my belly. Why couldn’t I just throw practicality to the wind, and live a little?
Because you want to live to the end of this road trip, my safety-wired brain reminded me.
Ugh. Dumb — and right — brain.
“Go take a shower,” I told Jo-Beth, waving her away before burying my head in one of the two pillows the Airstream had to offer. “It’s in the house.”
There was some jostling, and I could hear her pulling a towel out of the nearby stack.
“Cheer up,” she said, opening the door. “You just have to resist him for, what, four days? Piece of cake.”
Easy for her to say.
After Jo-Beth waltzed out, unbothered as ever, I lay on my back, looking at the carefully tacked string lights that Carter had hung overhead. I bet that, when midnight descended, these lights twinkled like stars.
And again, Jo-Beth was right. A guy like that, who could’ve been a model or an artist, was in the middle of nowhere. Guys like Carter always find their way out, always come out on top. But he hadn’t. So what was the explanation?
I crossed my heart and vowed to find out. Even if I couldn’t sleep with him, at least I could evaluate him. It was a distant second, but it would have to do.
A handful of minutes later, Jo-Beth re-entered, covered in a thin towel and wafting the scent of her body wash — eucalyptus and birchwood, according to her.
“Your turn,” she said, unwrapping the towel that clung to her hair.
“Ugh, I don’t want to. I’m tired. And horny. And confused.”
She laughed. “And, frankly, smelly. Sorry, it’s shower time.”
I didn’t move, knowing that I smelled perfectly fine, thank you very much.
Jo-Beth paused, then added, “You don’t want Carter to think you’re gross, do you?”
I chucked a pillow at her head which she nimbly dodged, but I knew she’d already won the battle.
Red with embarrassment, I hauled my ass out of bed.
“Thought that might do the trick,” she said with a self-satisfied smile.
“Yeah, yeah, no need to gloat.”
I considered wearing my clothes to the house, then shrugged. Jo-Beth had gone out in a towel, so it was probably fine. Besides, Carter’s was the only house on the block, if you could even really call it a block. Nobody was gonna see my bits.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I told her and trotted outside.
Aw shoot. No flip flops. Oh well, I sighed to myself, keeping my eyes affixed to the ground as I carefully picked over sharp bits of sand. My face was so close to the ground I probably looked like an ostrich, but again — no one there to see it.
Finally, I reached the door and strode inside, with probably too much pomp for someone who didn’t own the place.
“One, two,” I counted aloud, before throwing a door open and alighting upon the bathroom.
It was small, and still foggy from Jo-Beth’s shower, but it would do.
After shutting the door, I slung my towel over a hook, and turned the water to scalding hot. I wanted to burn all the naughty thoughts out of me.
As I waited for the water to heat up, I ran a hand over my body.
No, don’t you dare, my inner voice insisted.
“But I want to,” I whispered.
You’ll regret it.
“I can live with that,” I snapped, my tone fierce, as though I was fighting with a real person, and not just a figment of my own imagination.
That did it.
I stepped through the glass wall, positioning my pussy beneath the shower head. The hot water sizzled like a Jacuzzi jet.
Carter’s face flashed in my mind — the slicked hair, the chiseled jaw and those dark, indecipherable eyes.
Resisting was good, but caving was better. And just a little touching couldn’t hurt, right? It would keep my desires in check, at least long enough for us to get the hell out of town.
My fingers began to massage my nipples, working as if without my instruction. I tilted my head to the side, letting the water cascade down my neck, lightly spraying the hair I’d done up in a careful bun.
Even in the heat, my nipples were stiff. Had they been hard all day? I wondered. And, more to the point had Carter seen them sticking through my shirt?
Fuck it. I didn’t care. I couldn’t have him, sure, but that didn’t mean I had to hide my attraction to him.
