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My cheeks heat as I recall how badly I wondered about his cock. Even after everything that just happened with him, I still don’t know! I can still feel him stretching and filling my pussy as he slammed into me. My clit throbs hard at the memory of the time we just spent together. Shit! I had hoped to at least see it. Ugh! I’m so confused!
Redirecting my thoughts, again, I pull open the linen cabinet and grab a fluffy white towel. At least I get this bathroom for the time being. A long marble counter spans one wall, a large mirror hanging over it. I observe myself for a short time, noticing the bruises from his hard fingers already starting to show on my hips.
The tub is huge, almost big enough for me to swim in with built-in jets. The floor is heated so that bare feet don’t get cold on the smooth grey tile. It is the most decadent thing I have ever seen in my whole twenty-three years. The bathroom alone is bigger than any bedroom I have ever had in my life.
I already know that I will miss this suite of rooms when I go. My decision to leave is made before I have really even considered it. I won’t live this way. Won’t allow myself to be used. I may have nurtured tender feelings for Xavier since I was in high school, but no longer. I will NOT let myself miss Xavier Cerelli. Not one teeny, tiny bit.
I will not think about the soft looks he sent my way when we crossed paths over the years or the ones I thought he gave me while we shared those quiet dinners together, neither of us seeming to know what to say as we sat across from each other at the table. All of that had to have been a figment of my imagination, which is sad because I have never been prone to deceiving myself. Losing my mom and being sent to live with a cheap thug of a father, a girl learns real fast not to dream about things that won’t ever come true. It’s better to face reality and avoid the heartbreak of broken dreams. The problem is, when my dad explained that I was moving up to the penthouse I thought for a second that maybe, just maybe, dreams do sometimes come true. That maybe by some miracle I might be getting my fairy tale happy ever after. I thought that if I tried hard enough that he could grow to care for me the same way that I care for him.
Obviously, I was wrong.
Chapter Three
Analise
The loud complaining of my stomach wakes me up the next morning. I definitely shouldn't have skipped the snack before crawling between the cool, crisp sheets, but the physical and emotional exhaustion pulled me into a dreamless sleep. The pillow beside me is unexpectedly warm and I can smell him on the pale yellow cotton. The clean, masculine scent compelling me to breathe deeply. I’m surprised that he slept with me after leaving the way that he did, but then it suddenly occurs to me that this must be his room. It is where I’ve been sleeping since I got here, so I mistakenly thought it was mine. He never said anything about me displacing him and neither did Margot. I guess if I had unpacked my duffle bag or snooped around I would have figured it out sooner, but I didn’t. I’m not sure why, but it never even occurred to me. At least I know now, and sharing a room with him is not going to work for me. I will definitely move myself into an empty one after I get something to eat, I’m going to need my own space until I have a plan for how I’m going to get myself out of this mess.
Sharing a room with him will guarantee that our paths will cross at some point and I’m not ready to face him yet. The memory of the night prior, coupled with the soreness of my body, is much too fresh. I don’t trust him, I can’t. After my reaction to him while he ravaged my body, I trust myself even less than him. Sleeping in the same bed as him is not going to work for me. I have to figure out how to get away from him. I know that I can’t go back to the small apartment that I shared with my dad. Whatever his reasons, he wanted me to marry Xavier, and that means there is nothing for me to go back to.
I know I can’t stay in Vegas and I am never going back to New York. There is nothing for me in either place. The majority of my childhood was spent up in Washington state. Mom and I moved around a lot, but I was happy there. We were in San Francisco when she died, so I don’t think anyone knows about Washington. No one ever asked, and I never volunteered. I think I might go back there. We went to Spokane once or twice with one of mom’s boyfriends the year before she got sick. I enjoyed it there, so I think that’s where I’m going to go. No one would ever think to look for me there.
Fortunately, I have some cash hidden in the vent in my room in my dad's apartment. So I have a plan…sort of. I still need to figure out how I’m actually going to get away and HIDE from a man with so much money, who also has people who are willing to do anything for him. Even kill, if what Vince says is true.
Hiding from my new husband is going to be the hardest thing I have ever don
e. I will have to plan everything perfectly. I can't make any mistakes or there is no doubt that I will be back in this apartment faster than I can blink.
For the next couple of weeks, I don’t ever actually see Xavier, but I know he comes to the penthouse every night after I go to bed. The same as the morning after our wedding, I wake alone up in his bed, his tantalizing scent surrounding me. It doesn't matter where I fall asleep or if I lock myself in one of the other bedrooms, somehow he moves me. I do have a sleepy recollection of being held close as he carried me down the hall and tucked me into his bed every night, but he never says a word while he’s doing it. The first couple of times it happened I pretended that I was still asleep, after that, I just kept up the charade. It’s easier and I don’t want to fight with him. Part of me wants to sleep curled against him even though I have no idea why he wants me there. Especially since day after day, I wake up in the big bed alone.
For thirty mornings in a row! It's driving me crazy.
Oddly I’m discovering that I want to wake up with him as badly as I don't want to. That shit is confusing. Usually, I don’t have any trouble knowing my own mind, but if I’m asleep, or pretending to be, I don’t have to protest him moving me. I can just pretend that it isn’t happening and enjoy the feel of his strong body against mine until the heat of his body lulls me back to sleep.
I’ve had feelings for him for so long, that even though I’m trying, I can't fully stop them. They constantly surprise me, and then I have to remind myself about all the reasons having them is not in my best interest. I have to make myself forget about him. To forget about that night, forget how it felt to cum on his hand, on his cock. I don't want this life with Xavier. I want the one I dreamt of as a lonely girl. The ones that I should have left behind as I became a woman. I should have let them go and found someone who could feel the same things for me.
The only problem with that is that no one ever asked me out on dates. Not after I turned eighteen and graduated anyway. It was like overnight none of the guys that I knew ever saw me anymore. The girls weren’t any better. It was weird, but since I had never made very many friends in New York to start with, I wasn’t too worried about it.
Other than work I was alone with my daydreams, and every one I ever had about Xavier was of being loved by him. Of him wanting to be around me, being my best friend. Not this… whatever this even is. I can’t take the not knowing, not understanding what is going on between us anymore. Why treat me as if I don’t exist every day, but bring me to his bed to sleep every night? He hasn’t tried to touch me other than to pick me up and carry me to his bed, and I feel stupid because every time he does, my heart beats in anticipation, hoping that he will.
I’m leaving today. I have to. For my own peace of mind. If don't leave soon, I know I am probably going to offer myself to him and make a fool of myself by begging for scraps of his attention and affection.
I will never allow myself to be that kind of woman. The kind who loses herself to catch a man. The kind of woman my mother was.
Dressing in some fancy-ass athletic wear that was in the closet when I first moved in here I mentally review my plan. For the last week whenever I have gone out, no one seems to be paying attention to me anymore. At first, every time I turned around one of the guys from the neighborhood in New York was around. It made me wonder if Xavier expected me to run, but it seems that I was able to make them all think that I was easily accepting my new circumstances.
I’ve been making a point to go to whatever spa I want to, whatever shops I want to. I use the credit card that was provided to me. It’s mindless, but I have to admit that my hair and nails are the best they have ever been. Not that I care all that much about that. My favorite days have been the ones where I go to the library or a coffee shop and spend hours with my face buried in a book. I think that I must be so boring that they don't even consider that I might do what I have planned.
Picking up the big, expensive, leather tote I have been carrying for the past few weeks, I glance inside, checking that I have everything I need. A couple of changes of clothes, an envelope full of cash and my wallet. It’s empty of the credit cards bearing my married name that turned up a week after the wedding. All I have now is my drivers' license and my one credit card that is in my maiden name. I don’t want to leave it behind in case of an actual emergency. I will have to deal with the consequences of using it if that day ever comes.
I add a couple of books on top, before I slide on my big retro-looking sunglasses, and head out the door toward the hot Vegas sunshine. It’s time to find the life I want. Not one that was forced on me. Stupid dreams be damned. Xavier Cerelli is NOT my future, even if he is all I have ever dreamed of having for my own. Even if my heart hurts at the thought of never seeing his handsome face or hearing his sexy, rough voice again.
Calling for a ride, the same as I have been doing every day, I go out and head to the strip. I have used the spa at the Bellagio a couple of times, so I go there to kill a little time. Once inside the casino, I wander around for a while. I don’t think anyone followed me today, not that I have given any reason for Xavier to have me tailed. I have been docile and compliant with the changes he brought into my life. I don't think anyone even noticed when I left the building there was so much activity at the casino doors. So far everything is going as I had hoped
After I kill some time with a coffee and some window shopping, I catch a cab by hailing one from the street instead of calling for an Uber. I have the driver take me to a used car dealer a short distance from the strip in an area I can’t imagine anyone would think to look for me. I keep my sunglasses on and do my best to be as innocuous as possible during the short ride. I don’t want to give the driver any reason to remember me ever being in his car. I have no doubt that when Xavier figures out what I have done, he is much too smart not to check with the cab companies.
Everything goes easier than expected. A stereotypical sleazy used car salesman assists me as I spend a chunk of my savings on an older economy car. It’s nondescript, gets good gas mileage, and the price is right. Right now I couldn’t ask for anything else.
I thought for sure someone would swoop in at the last second and stop me. I am so relieved when I pull off the purchase without a hitch, using cash and a fake name. The salesman said he didn’t care what name went on the paperwork as long as I was paying cash, he even blacked out the license plate number on the documents. Like I said, a little shady, but it was totally to my advantage, so I’m not about to complain. I am a little worried about the legality of it though.
