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“It’s so weird that both of us are from New York and that we both ended up here,” she gestures around us, “In this shitty little place.” I nod, encouraging her to continue. I need to know where all of this is going before I say anything that I can’t take back. After a long pause she goes on, her voice tight.
“My mom was married to a lawyer who worked for the Cerelli family. Turns out that they are a mafia family, and when Brad became a liability to them, he and my mom were murdered,” her breath shudders out. I want to say something. Need to, but she speaks before I can.
“I was sixteen when they died. I saw it all. I don’t know if the man who did it saw me or not, but I took what I could grab, and I ran. Travis’ grandfather had a cabin out here, so I rode a bus, and I’ve been hiding out ever since.” Her story trails off, and silence stretches between us, broken only by the sounds of the low voices of the few diners across the room.
I wait another moment before speaking to gather my thoughts. Of course, I knew that Xavier’s family were mafia. Criminals, but murder…? On second thought, I guess I’m not very surprised when I consider that this would have been the older Cerellis. Xavier, Sr. and his brother Dominic. As far as I know, my Xavier has always stayed clear of illegal activities. That’s what I’ve always heard anyway.
“I’m so sorry,” I murmur, struggling to keep my expression from showing the panic that I’m feeling. “What does all this have to do with me?” I finally ask, needing to know.
Faye’s voice is gentle when she speaks again. “I wish I could say nothing, but there is still a high likelihood that the New York Cerellis want to find me since I’m a material witness to a double murder. Travis has been in touch with Xavier Cerelli, the son of the man who had been looking for me.”
With her words, I swear my heart stops, then resumes racing. Color floods my cheeks at the mention of his name, my body reacting to just the suggestion of him.
“Xavier and Travis have reached an agreement. My guaranteed safety from the Cerelli’s in return for Travis’ assistance in locating his missing wife, Analise.”
The tiny hairs on the back of my neck prickle when she says my name. Does she know who I am? More importantly, Xavier is looking for me! Still?! I was sure I would have been forgotten by now.
“Ana, I’ve seen the file. I know that you are Analise Cerelli,” Faye whispers, answering my unspoken question as she reaches across the table to squeeze my icy cold hand. I can’t stop the tears of relief that start falling and rub my belly in a comforting gesture, even though I know it’s me that is upset and not the baby.
“I knew I was going to have to go back soon. I can’t do this alone anymore.” Crying harder, I put my face in my hands until Faye’s voice gets my attention. I lift my face and meet her eyes as I rub the moisture from my cheeks.
“Ana, let’s go back to Travis’s house so we can talk in private. Would that be ok?” Nodding I get up to head out the door without saying another word. I wait, standing between Travis’ truck and my little car, as Travis opens the door of his pickup. Faye uses the narrow step under the door, and I follow suit. My mind reeling with the knowledge that I’m most likely going home, I settle into the leather seat and close my eyes.
Xavier is looking for me! The corners of my lips turn up in the darkness. I’m going home!
I open my eyes as Travis stops in front of a farm style house outside of town. There are no close neighbors, just a few dim lights in the distance. It occurs to me that Xavier could be inside, waiting for me. The thought excites me as much as it terrifies me.
“He isn’t here is he?” I question, and Faye hurries to assure me that he’s not. Travis opens the passenger door and helps me down before turning back to Faye. He hugs her tightly to him as he lowers her feet to the ground. Happiness radiates off of both of them. I can’t help but feel a little bit jealous.
I wish Xavier and I had that kind of ease between us, it’s as much my fault as his that we don’t, I try to convince myself. Neither of us did anything to bridge the gap that was created on our wedding night… and even that isn’t entirely true. Night after night, he sought me out and held me in his arms, and night after night, I pretended to be asleep. If I had seriously considered what he was doing, maybe I would have realized that was his way of apologizing, and I snubbed him. Every single time. So whose fault is it really?
The awareness that it was me who erected a barrier between us that couldn’t be crossed rocks me to my core. In my fear over how much he made me feel, I destroyed what we might have been. We had fun together after the formality of the wedding ceremony was over. We laughed and flirted and appreciated each other’s company. It was me who ruined that by hiding from him, by not seeking him out and insisting that we talk about what had happened.
Sighing, I follow Faye onto the wraparound porch and inside the cozy house. She goes straight to the kitchen where she gestures for me to sit while she puts on water to heat and takes a box of cookies from the pantry.
Sitting down across from me, she quietly asks me if I will be safe if they take me back, and I reply strongly, my recent revelation bright in my mind.
“Oh yes!” I know Xavier won’t hurt me if I go back. “I didn’t leave Xavier because he was violent or abusive. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“If he wasn’t abusive, Ana, then why did you run away?” Faye asks me, genuine puzzlement on her face.
Travis quietly enters the room and takes a chair near her. I reflect for a few long beats about how I want to answer this difficult question. Realizing that the lack of communication between Xavier and I was my doing has changed everything I had thought before today. It’s not going to be easy to explain, but the first step to fixing this will be to admit that I was wrong. Starting now.
“I had plans for my life to be something other than the property of Xavier Cerelli.” I finally admit, “and I acted without knowing all the facts, or taking the time to ask any questions. I was being stubborn.”
“Are you agreeable to talking to him? To going back?” Travis asks me, his jaw clenched tightly. For some reason, I can tell that my willingness is important to him. If I say no right now, I get the feeling that he would not pressure me to return.
“Do I have a choice?” I ask incredulously. I would think my compliance in this would be required.
Faye interjects, “Of course you do. Travis won’t force you to go back.” The look on his face tells me that he absolutely would drag me back kicking and screaming if that is what was necessary to keep Faye safe. The only thing that is stopping that from being the scenario is that he doesn’t want to piss her off. Fortunately, for all of us, I want to go back.
“I need to go back,” I say, my hand once again drifting the bump of Xavier’s baby growing inside me. Not being able to afford to see a doctor yet has been weighing heavily on my mind. I need to go back and face X so that, if nothing else, I can get the baby the medical care he or she deserves. It’s already been too long. I know that even if he doesn’t want me, he is not the type of man to turn away his unborn child.
“It’s not fair to kee
p the baby from him and…” and I’m crying. Again. Stupid. I’m getting what I wanted without having to swallow my pride and asking to come home, but I still won’t be getting what I want. Xavier to love me.
“You miss him, don’t you?” Faye asks quietly, standing and hurrying to my side, making me cry even harder. So hard that I drop my head into my arms on the table and sob like a child, “Y-yeah.”
