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"I thought you hated helping me set the dungeon up?" I queried.
"At first," she admitted, "It was good working together, but now I'm bored."
"Really?" I queried, "I'll get some friends round to try you out."
"Brian, we both know I didn't agree to that," she said firmly as she wiped herself with a tissue.
"What then?" I asked.
"Can I get a job?" she suggested.
"Job?" I asked.
"Office job, part time selling real estate," she suggested.
"You have somewhere in mind?" I asked.
"Better than that I have an interview next week," she admitted.
"Pattie I do not, repeat not need a girlfriend!" I insisted, "That was the whole point of our deal, no hassle, I get laid, I don't get any grief, I get to concentrate on my job."
"But you do need someone," she insisted, "Someone to share your bed."
"My Porsche more likely," I suggested.
"Cook your meals, tell your mother how wonderful you are," she tried.
"Spend a fortune dressing, wining and dining!" I suggested.
"Only if you want to," she said, "If you really want your friends to think you're a cheapskate that's fine!"
"Pattie," I cautioned, "This is just supposed to be uncomplicated sex, you know, sex when I want it."
"A girl's got a right to change her mind," she announced, "Look ok six the eight each evening in
the dungeon and the rest of the time its boyfriend and girlfriend.
"Done," I said, "Where's my good shirt, I'm hungry."
"Brian!" she complained, "I don't have anything to wear!"
"Back bedroom," I replied, "I never did put your stuff in the loft!"
"Ooh you really are something!" she snapped and she rushed away.
I think putting on the war paint took her an hour, but she certainly did look stunning in a classic sort of way in a rather grown up matching tan jacket and skirt but anyway it was way past dinner by the riverside time by the time we got going, so Pattie had to make do with dinner in a gastro-pub, not that she seemed to mind particularly, and it made a pleasant change for me from the usual ready meals.
I didn't take up her offer to be designated driver, I valued the Porsche's gold anodised 18" wheel rims too much for that and we arrived home around ten.
The phone rang, of course she answered it, "Oh, I'm Pattie," she said "DeLaney," pause "Yes the Westerleigh DeLaneys," pause, "Oh weeks now, he's here, Brian it's your mother."
I just has to be mother, "Brian!" sh
e started, "I warned you, I said casual sex, no steady girlfriend and what do you do?"
"Woah, slow down," I insisted, "What has she been telling you?" I asked.
"She doesn't need to dear she's obviously your girlfriend," mother said.
