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"You crave to be in control, yet you are trapped by it, and you also know that. And that tells me that you are honest with yourself, even brutally so. You chose me because you want what most men can't give you...freedom to be yourself."
"You chose me despite our age difference, despite my somewhat some less than film star looks, and despite the fact that I don't seem to have either riches or lots of friends. You chose me because I am a loner, because I am apart. And that is how you are, alone in your successful world."
"And yet, here I think we have a slight touch of self deception. I imagine you thought you chose me because I would be more "grateful," yet also someone who would understand your own dark side...the part that you cannot share with most people."
"But, the truth is that whether you are aware of it or not, everything you do is controlled by you, even the times when you give up control, and that always leaves you frustrated and empty"
"You are offering me a deal, an "arrangement". You are offering me your body, and I suspect a lot of freedom with it, and I, in turn, am expected to show the proper appreciation for it."
Raven sat still, staring at him, her drink as yet untouched. In a few deft sentences, economical with his words yet abundant in insight, he had opened her up. Her games and her tactics; dissected, analysed and presented back to her.
"However, I also sense that you need something more than whatever darker pleasures a loner like me might have on offer. Oh yes, I am well aware that we "quieter" types tend to be a bit kinkier, a bit darker; as the saying goes 'still waters run deep.' But you need to do more than just lose control, you need to have it taken from you. You need to know that your control is only an illusion, to see that you have no control whatsoever.
"When you know that, when you are finally helpless and hopeless, then you can truly experience what you crave...to be used for someone else's pleasure, to let go of your ability to feed yourself, and be wholly dependent on another's choice."
He paused, then leaned forward into her lips.
His monologue had so shaken her, so pierced her, that she didn't move as he pressed his lips to hers, taking her kiss as casually as he might pick a button hole.
And as his lips pressed into hers, she sensed a hand caress a breast, slip inside her dress, and cruelly pinch a nipple with all his force.
Raven almost cried out, and for a brief second felt she should be shocked at this attack on her. But the greater part of her yielded, and embraced his pain..and as she did so, a white shock erupted into the space between her thighs. She climaxed without warning, as sudden in its arrival as summer lightning.
She whimpered into his mouth, unconsciously arching her body to him, willing him to do more, to give her the pain she craved, to let her be obedient to his desires.
He pulled back, a knowing smile on his face.
"No my little one, not yet. I am about to leave, and you will have five minutes to decide whether you want to leave as well. If you do, I will be outside, but I will only wait five minutes, not a second more."
"And just remember this, if you do decide to leave here and join me, that will be your last choice. After this, you will have no rules, you will have no limits, you will have no control, you will no more "No's."
"And I, in turn, will take you where you crave, but cannot go alone."
And with that, he finished his drink, stood up, and left.
And Raven sat...and decided.
For three minutes Raven stared at her drink...knowing what she wanted, recognising that this man could well give her what she needed, but still feeling the fear that comes from finally being offered what she had craved all her life.
It wasn't that she was afraid of what he might do...more that having done it, that this might not be be what she craved after all...that her dreams and darkest desires were just that; impossible dreams that could not survive the light of their reality.
But Raven also knew that she was not going to let this chance go; the memory of his kiss, the tingling of the nipple he had twisted, the wetness between her legs. These all told her that whatever happened, even if she didn't find that mythical place where, at last, she could put down the burden of self-hood and control, it would be one fucking awesome ride getting there.
Abruptly, her mind suddenly set and in focus, she stood up and left the way he had gone...a man whose name she didn't know, whose address was a mystery, yet someone she was prepared to follow into the night. She laughed to herself, thrilled at the sheer insanity of it, and grinned as she ran down the stairs to where he waited on the hotel steps
His back was to the door, and she saw him look at his watch, and without looking back, set off walking towards the car park.
"So," Raven playfully asked as she caught up with him, "Where are you taking me?"
He stopped, turned round and looked at her. His eyes were stern, passionate, but not welcoming.
"Did I ask you a question?"
Raven stepped back, feeling almost that she had been struck. Unused to being treated so bluntly, almost brutally
"No, you didn't. Is that a problem?"
Smack
