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"And how do you propose those light bulbs get changed to ward off the evils that come in the night?"
"I call someone...there's bound to be someone you know who can climb up there...a fireman, gutter cleaner and the like."
"That just costs money. I've done it myself for years. And see? Nothing broken."
"I have seen that many times at the gym," I state, again the obvious, but stealing a chance to acknowledge your very fit legs and gluteal region muscles.
"I'm glad someone notices...it's not easy these days."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, all the good guys are taken. So a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do."
"You mean around the house and all," not quite grasping the innuendo, pointing to the basket of housework coming up in your weekend plans.
"Whatever it takes," was your reply, and with a sly smile, and finally I picked up the meaning, a bit slow on the uptake.
"Ah ha...indeed so. That's most, um, unfortunate." I think I blushed, which I had thought would not be easy to get me to do.
"It's a common modern problem, and I've learned to cope." I think that's the most intimate thing you've shared with me.
"Like you said, you gotta do what you gotta do. We've all been there." I peeked around the aisle of the store to be sure some busybody wasn't listening in on this interesting conversation.
"Like when you hurt your elbow, right?" You said, with a very serious face.
"Huh?" Again, slow on the uptake.
"Like your friend said how much you couldn't do when you hurt your right elbow a few months ago. We all joked it was from too much something and you assured us that the cause was something else and that you were capable of all needed daily activities. Remember?"
"Oh year, I remember that. Funny."
"We all got a good kick out of that one. Girls are not so prudish as you might think. We can get a bit raunchy. Probably a lot like the guys do when you're watching football or playing golf or fishing or what ever you guys do when you're out and about."
"We just drink and brag about how many times we got laid the week before. And then we all just divide the number by half or more...depending on the girlfriend/spouse involved. And in the case of that guy you mentioned, we just divide by zero, because the answer is zero."
"I figured. Us girls just shop and buy makeup and shoes."
"Yeah, right. You even admitted there's more going on than that. What do you girls really talk about when you're together and having drinks?"
"Well, why don't you come over for a coffee and I'll tell you." You said coffee normally this time....perhaps the Yankee in you comes out only once in a while. "And perhaps you can help me with a couple of these light bulbs? There are two in the inside stairwell, that are still hard for me to get to."
"I'd love the coffee, but I ain't getting up 20 feet on those ladders. I can do some of the inside ones, but I like my legs just the way they are. NOT broken."
"Not to worry. I've done these inside ones before, but there's one that I can hardly reach, and you're taller, so it should be easy with the step ladder I have. It'll be safe...I promise."
"OK. Show me the way."
And with that and my good Samaritan intent, I followed you out of the hardware store, and in a couple minutes, got to your house.
Once inside, I looked around and saw a neat, organized and well appointed house.
"Where's your daughter?" I asked, following you around from the side door to the kitchen and then towards the stairs.
"She's with friends for the weekend."
"Growing up aren't they?"
"It's unbelievable. Seems like just a short time ago, she was a little kid. Now she's going on 18, even though she's only 13."
