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I'm sure I turned beet red. Not knowing whether to laugh it off or pursue it with vigor, I held the middle ground. "Is that what you want?" I queried casually.
"Lemme -- lemme fuckin' tell you a
fuckin' seek -- a fuckin' secret, Derek baby," she purred.
I didn't recall Holly ever swearing in high school, let alone dropping the f-bomb every second word. Something was different about Holly. I guess the alcoholic stupor was the first indication that something was amiss.
"Sure, Holly -- we're old friends. You can tell me anything. Your secret's safe with me."
Holly paused. A tear slowly dribbled out of one eye. Her chin began to quiver and her lips seemed to struggle to form the right words.
"I -- I can -- can fuckin' trust you, Derek?"
Despite our fierce rivalry in earlier years, I had never done anything to violate her trust. There had been no cheating to beat her, no stepping on her to accomplish my goals -- just pure, simple, unadulterated, honest competition.
"Have I ever crossed you, Holly?" I asked sincerely.
She contemplated for a moment, her eyes still somewhat glazed. "Naw, you were always a fuckin' goody two-shoes. Just like me..." Her voice faded off, as did her gaze. I wasn't sure whether it was the alcohol or a distant memory.
"So -- are you gonna tell me your secret?" I asked.
She still hesitated a moment longer. Then, sucking up her fortitude, she looked me in the eye. "I'm fuckin' lookin' to get laid 'cuz I've never fuckin' BEEN laid," she confessed.
You could have knocked me over with a feather. After all that braggadocio, she was a goddamn virgin! I'm sure my jaw dropped and my eyes bugged.
She saw my response and laughed quietly. For a moment, I didn't know whether to take her confession seriously. But then I decided she had no reason to joke about something like that. And she had indeed been an ice princess in high school.
"But, Holly -- why in the HELL would you come to a SPORTS BAR looking to get laid for your FIRST TIME?"
She squinted at me and raised a superior eyebrow. "Why the hell NOT?" she asked. "Isn't a fuckin' sp -- a fuckin' sports bar a place where fuckin' MEN like to -- to fuckin' hang out?"
I shook my head, trying to convey an air of disgust. "Christ, Holly -- you'd fuck a total STRANGER for your first time to get laid? Shouldn't it be with someone SPECIAL?"
She laughed again, this time an outright cackle. She laughed so hard that she nearly barfed. When she finally got it under control, she laid her forehead on the table to regain her composure.
When she finally looked up at me, she had another tear streaming down her cheek. "You were always such a fuckin' know-it-all, Derek. Some things never fuckin' change."
I nearly walked out right then and there. But there was something genuine about her tears. I wanted to know more.
I counted to ten before responding. "Okay, Holly. I'm sorry to judge so quickly -- I DON'T fuckin' know it all. Pretend like I'm a totally blank slate. Draw me a picture."
"Shit," she replied caustically, still muddled by her inebriation.
I waited again, intent on not letting her get me riled. At least she had added a different expletive to her vocabulary. And she really did seem like she needed someone to talk to, someone to look after her.
"Look, Holly," I offered, "you're talking about losing your virginity to a total stranger. That's not the girl I knew in school. There's got to be a reason." I laid my hand on hers, entwining her fingers in mine.
She lowered her lashes, then looked up at me with a teardrop-moistened smile. "You fuckin' really do CARE," she replied softly. A light seemed to flicker in her eyes, beginning to dispel her alcoholic haze.
I gave her a sheepish grin and shrugged my shoulders. "I just don't want to see an old friend make a mistake she may regret for the rest of her life. But I haven't walked a mile in your shoes..."
"Here's the deal, Derek -- and you have to SWEAR you'll never tell ANYBODY. Okay?"
"Okay -- sure, Holly."
She looked into my eyes, and I could see her sobriety visibly returning. She released my hand. "Okay, Derek -- it's like this. I was raised by a couple of very intelligent but very fuckin' screwed-up parents."
"Nothing unusual about that last part," I laughed.
